Sometimes we get worried because we think we are different; look at it this way, are you different from the way you should be and why should you be like everyone else?
For me, a lot of it is in my head. Now and then I’ll get some real turn on hot drive me nuts kind of sexy idea in my head, and I could jerk off about four times and cum fast each time – it’s got me nuts.
Other times, I wank and just don’t get there, and I want to cum real bad and don’t. When this happens I’ve learned to stop, get up, walk around, give it a break, come back to it and mostly, wham I cum and it’s as good as it gets.
Sometimes it’s fun to edge. You’re home alone and horny and the fun isn’t just in orgasm, it’s at looking at those pics or flicks and fantasying; I’ll take myself to the edge, stop, go ago back to the edge, stop. It’s tricky. It can turn out great – super great – or you can get it wrong and cum separately from the right kind of orgasm – kind of hard to explain.
Another variable, how long has it been? Unless I’m really horned-up, it will take some time if I already wanked or had sex within a few hours. However, I’ve noticed that if something has happened to keep me from getting at it for several days or more, I’m not as fast as I expect. Not sure what that’s about, but it happens.
Ultimately I think it’s all in that other head, the one on the shoulders. If you want to stay hard longer, try some porn. If you want to come faster, try some porn. If you really want it good, regardless of the time, try a partner.