How Long Does It Take To Get Over An Ex?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Principessa, Nov 1, 2009.

  1. Principessa

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    How Long Does It Take To Get Over An Ex?
    When I was in high school my bff's older sister told us that however long you dated for, divide by 2 and that was how long it took to be completely over the guy. That has never been accurate for me. :no: Sometimes I bounce back quickly, but there was one time it took me over a year. :frown1::redface: We had dated for 12 years if that means anything to those of you determined to come up with a formula.
     
  2. MC1000

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    Two months for every year together. Of course there are variables that can infulence this formula, but as a general rule it is rather accurate.
     
  3. Principessa

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    So if you only dated for 6 months then it should take one month to recover? :confused: Sorry but I think there are too many variables to consider and that each situation is different. Some people are married for 15 years, get a divorce and two months later they are dating and fine with the break-up. Sometimes a relationship ends in your heart & head long before any papers are signed or DVD's and furniture are split up.
     
    #3 Principessa, Nov 1, 2009
    Last edited: Nov 1, 2009
  4. nudeyorker

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    I think putting a time variable on something emotional is utter crap. I think it depends entirely on the depth of the relationship and your maturity as well as the reasons for the breakup. I was once in a very abusive relationship with an alcoholic; I was over it when I walked out the door and my car pulled onto the parkway. I have never recovered from the death of my first lover and my brother and parents, but I have moved on I just never recovered from it.
     
  5. dolfette

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    seems like a very long time...
    can't you just buy new shoes instead?
     
  6. Ethyl

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    Spot on.

    More specifically, boots. Nothing washes away bad memories like a new pair of Ferragamo.
     
  7. B_New End

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    my first love took me 3.5 years over a 14 month relationship

    my 6 year relationship probably took about 2 years.
     
  8. Principessa

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    In the past I have tried new shoes, makeup, a haircut and color, sassy wardrobe and sexy underwear. :rolleyes: Sometimes the only thing that heals a broken heart is time and a few pints of Ben & Jerry's or Haagen Dazs.
     
  9. dolfette

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    shoes always works for me.
    it's good to be shallow.
     
  10. Pendlum

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    It doesn't take as long to fill the pool back up!
     
  11. D_Portelay Porquesword

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    I have been there, in a situation that broke my spirit. It took quite some time before I fully recovered. It is a process. One that must be dealt with on a personal level.
     
  12. jason_els

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    If you were truly in love? Never. You just live with it and, eventually, cherish the memory.

    I'm so sorry nudie. Big :hug: for you, from 5,000 miles away.

    E lei kau, e lei ho'oilo i ke aloha
     
    #12 jason_els, Nov 2, 2009
    Last edited: Nov 2, 2009
  13. dolfette

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    what if they were really nice shoes?
     
  14. jason_els

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    You know...

    Ages ago, just when the Ralph Lauren store in the Rhinelander house opened, I came down the stairs to the ground floor to behold a beautiful sweater of forest green with a perfect representation of the unicorn tapestry on the front done in hand embroidery. It was the most beautiful sweater I had ever seen and it was $425. That's in 1980something money so it was hideously expensive though, if I was very careful and lived off nuts and berries for a few months, I'd be able to afford it.

    It's the only piece of clothing I truly regret never buying and I don't think I'll ever forget it. It would have looked stunning on me as I used to have medium brown hair with a tinge of red and I have brown eyes.
     
  15. dolfette

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    for me it was a coat...

    full length, pale tan, short faux fur pile.
    the tailoring was amazing. i put it on, looked in the mirror and saw a red carpet starlet staring back at me. it was the most perfect coat ever made and i have never seen it's equal.

    ...i should have ignored the price tag angst.
     
  16. AlteredEgo

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    Mine was (and I know this will sound horrifying to most) a peacock blue, mohair coat in Tommy Hilfiger at the Westchester. I have never seen anyone wearing this coat, but the color and shape were perfect for me. When I got over the sticker shock and returned for my love, it was gone. I've never seen it on eBay.

    Jason, I disagree with your time frame. There was a time when I agreed with you. However, since that time I have gotten over my pain. I guess sufficient time had finally passed.

    I once read that it is normal to take anywhere from no time at all to get over a past relationship (if you had already made peace with the end before the end came) or as much as an equal amount of time for mourning as you spent in the relationship. For me, that has certainly been true. It took nearly six years to stop hurting from my six-year relationship's demise. That entire time I tried everything I could think of to mopve on, and between time and effort, I am healed.
     
  17. jason_els

    jason_els <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    I know that feeling too.

    My mom, my grandmother, and I went to Bloomingdales once and in the window was a stunning Searle coat. It was wool, military cut, full length, black, with beaver trim on the collar and cuffs with a slightly long train and gold double-breasted buttons. It was STUNNING.

    I don't like fur and I truthfully didn't know it was real fur at the time. It was of such short pile that I assumed it was fake. Nevertheless, my grandmother and I urged my mom to try it on.

    My mother is an ice queen. She's blonde with blue eyes, tall, and has a riding figure. In her youth she resembled Joan Fontaine only more beautiful. She has high cheekbones and a perfectly symmetrical face. When she tried it on she looked amazing; like it was made for her. We both urged her to buy it and for some reason it was in the 25% off rack. So she bought it on her AmEx. The original price was $799. Well she purchased it, took the receipt and asked them to hold it for her while we shopped. When we returned later, the sales lady explained it shouldn't have been on that rack and demanded that we pay more for it or get a refund. My mother asked for the manager. I was livid because I knew this was illegal but I was young and stupid and didn't keep my temper. The manager appeared and when she was told the story, released the coat acknowledging that they had made a mistake and that since AmEx is a true charge card, meaning it is equal to cash at the time of sale, the store had made an actual sale and the transaction was considered completed. If they had fucked-up, it was post-facto and they had to eat it.

    My mom wears this coat on formal occasions and she treasures it with a cover and keeps it in the cedar closet. She likes it more than her mink (inherited from my great-grandmother) and to this day, even at 70 (and not a pound overweight), she still looks amazing in it. It's breath-taking.

    I know it sounds ridiculous but sometimes there really are pieces of clothing which make us look better than we usually are because they somehow compliment us as if they were couture. That coat is an item that does that for my mother as does her simple white shirtwaist dress with violet stripes in the precise color of her eyes.
     
  18. Drifterwood

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    My two toughest exes were one's where it was me that walked away. Does that make sense?
     
  19. jason_els

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    Completely.
     
  20. jason_els

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    Then you are MOST fortunate and I say that sincerely. I've been carrying a damned torch for 28 years and that's just the earliest of three. Some people have come and gone like fireworks displays but others have lingered in my memory always with the footnote, "Oh! What might have been..."
     
    #20 jason_els, Nov 2, 2009
    Last edited: Nov 2, 2009
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