How Long Does It Take To Get Over An Ex?
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nudeyorker
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D_Rawkesbye Deadheade
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It really depends on how it ends and how it was before it came to an end. Could be a couple of weeks. Could be a couple of years.
FelixM
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it took me about 6 months to get over my last ex.....we dated for a year and a half...kinda made it harder because he called me after a few months.....we hung out again and I realized my feelings for him were gone and I told him i couldn't be with him again and just being with him felt awkward because I didn't have feelings for him anymore
Drifterwood
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Don't kid yourself, I walked away from you and went and bought shoes!
I had the last laugh - you walking in high heels.
Bitch :biggrin1:
nudeyorker
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Maybe more shoe stores should play this on a big screen if someone is shopping during post romantic angst!
YouTube - Nancy Sinatra - These Boots Are Made For Walkin (3k2zmix)
HorsemanUK
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There is no set formula for getting over someone. It depends what type of person you are and also if you break connection and contact with the ex all together. Its easier to get over someone when their out of sight and no longer in contact. This is why I dont hold with 'being freinds' after a break up it just makes it harder.
3664shaken
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This is easy to answer because I don't do the emotional BS that everyone does.
If I dumped him - I am already over it.
If he dumped me - just long enough to say "Loser"
If I dumped him - I am already over it.
If he dumped me - just long enough to say "Loser"
There are way too many factors to give any sort of hard and fast rule as to how long it takes. Honestly, there are a lot of environmental and personal factors:
-your support group
-your mental stability at the time of the break up
-any/all abuse involved during, before and after the break up (which can exasperate getting over them)
-the seriousness of the relationship (notice this doesn't necessarily mean the quanity of time spent together, though that can be a factor)
-the emotional, physical, and financial investment you had in the person
etc, etc...
personally, my first boyfriend in high school...got over him in a couple of days (we were together a month, I dumped him)
last boyfriend, took me about 6 months...and there was a lot of abuse involved (together over 5 years)
The reason people give timelines for this stuff is because it's comforting...and most people, psycho-socially pretend they're over things much sooner than they actually are because they want to conform to the social norm as it's seen as weak or "hung up" for it to take longer than expected...you just have to do it in your own time...
What will help speed it up:
-go see a therapist
-maybe an anti-depressant if it's really bad (i.e. suicidal thoughts, anxiety etc)
-force yourself to spend life as usual (as much as humanly possible) and go out and still socialize...sitting at home is the worst for a situation like this
-talk to others who have been through bad break-ups and can empathize...it helps...
-being patient with yourself
On average, it takes 2 years to grief a major loss (death, loss of a friendship/partner, income etc)...that doesn't mean you can't move on before that, but they're still be some hiccups along the road. A major break up is a grieving process just like any other. And that grieving process goes for you being the dumpee or the dumper...you both have to grieve the loss.
-your support group
-your mental stability at the time of the break up
-any/all abuse involved during, before and after the break up (which can exasperate getting over them)
-the seriousness of the relationship (notice this doesn't necessarily mean the quanity of time spent together, though that can be a factor)
-the emotional, physical, and financial investment you had in the person
etc, etc...
personally, my first boyfriend in high school...got over him in a couple of days (we were together a month, I dumped him)
last boyfriend, took me about 6 months...and there was a lot of abuse involved (together over 5 years)
The reason people give timelines for this stuff is because it's comforting...and most people, psycho-socially pretend they're over things much sooner than they actually are because they want to conform to the social norm as it's seen as weak or "hung up" for it to take longer than expected...you just have to do it in your own time...
What will help speed it up:
-go see a therapist
-maybe an anti-depressant if it's really bad (i.e. suicidal thoughts, anxiety etc)
-force yourself to spend life as usual (as much as humanly possible) and go out and still socialize...sitting at home is the worst for a situation like this
-talk to others who have been through bad break-ups and can empathize...it helps...
-being patient with yourself
On average, it takes 2 years to grief a major loss (death, loss of a friendship/partner, income etc)...that doesn't mean you can't move on before that, but they're still be some hiccups along the road. A major break up is a grieving process just like any other. And that grieving process goes for you being the dumpee or the dumper...you both have to grieve the loss.
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When you think you have come to the realization, in the middle of your grief and eventual anger: "Love is not enough". You did not need to be there to begin with.
Love is enough, it is the deaf ears and deaf hearts it falls upon that are not enough.
Until my situation went south, I had not realized that emotional involvements can be just a strong as relationships based in love. The guy did not care about me, he took off and left our relationship for a guy he met on line. A guy he never saw on web cam and only had one pic that he claimed was his.
People are foolish when it comes to love. Either they withhold it because it does not make logical sense, or they give too much. The in between uses of love are often hit and miss. Love is not an exact science, yet it is the single most powerful force on the planet.
For those who have been truly blessed to experience true love and choose to cultivate it by every positive means possible. (including lots of hard work) These souls are the most fortunate on earth.
Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7NLTI
Never forget: Love is an action word. Oh_Yeah 2009
Love is enough, it is the deaf ears and deaf hearts it falls upon that are not enough.
Until my situation went south, I had not realized that emotional involvements can be just a strong as relationships based in love. The guy did not care about me, he took off and left our relationship for a guy he met on line. A guy he never saw on web cam and only had one pic that he claimed was his.
People are foolish when it comes to love. Either they withhold it because it does not make logical sense, or they give too much. The in between uses of love are often hit and miss. Love is not an exact science, yet it is the single most powerful force on the planet.
For those who have been truly blessed to experience true love and choose to cultivate it by every positive means possible. (including lots of hard work) These souls are the most fortunate on earth.
Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7NLTI
Never forget: Love is an action word. Oh_Yeah 2009
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Took me about 2 minutes to get over my husband.
Has taken me 26 years to get over one love. We are still friends but deep down inside I will always have an emotional reaction to him. Cry on the way home each time we have lunch - weird, I realize.
The ability to move on is NOT the same thing as getting over someone.
For me, real love is pretty rare and for those I've had love for, I still feel an emotional pull when I think of them to a certain degree.
Has taken me 26 years to get over one love. We are still friends but deep down inside I will always have an emotional reaction to him. Cry on the way home each time we have lunch - weird, I realize.
The ability to move on is NOT the same thing as getting over someone.
For me, real love is pretty rare and for those I've had love for, I still feel an emotional pull when I think of them to a certain degree.
it took me a year and a half to completely get over my ex. we dated for about a year. i didn't date or have sex with anyone else during this particular time when i was trying to move on with my life and heal my wounds.
after going through what i went through, i can't say i believe there's a specific time frame for anyone to get over a relationship. people do things differently and that's what separates us from each other.
i think it depends on the circumstances of the relationship, like, how long the relationship lasted, if it was a good or bad break up, and how deep was the love each individual had for one another. however, most importantly it also depends how an individual copes with getting through challenging experiences. only then can an individual determine if and when they are ready to move on.
after going through what i went through, i can't say i believe there's a specific time frame for anyone to get over a relationship. people do things differently and that's what separates us from each other.
i think it depends on the circumstances of the relationship, like, how long the relationship lasted, if it was a good or bad break up, and how deep was the love each individual had for one another. however, most importantly it also depends how an individual copes with getting through challenging experiences. only then can an individual determine if and when they are ready to move on.
D_Maurice Mountlilly
Account Disabled
that's the best answer....
i'm still not over my first love from 15 yrs ago(yes i know..i know..but it is what it is)
Years ago, my exgirlfriend broke my heart (yeah i know sounds soppy) it took me about 4 years to get over the hurt and the pain i was feeling during this stage i had my first experience with a guy who was a barsteward and it took me two minutes to get over that shit. Depends on the intensity of the relationship i guess.
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Enid
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it took me about 6 months (maybe a little more) to get over my last relationship which lasted 4 years, but parts of that recovery period were so painful it was like from one 5 minutes to the next. severe anhedonia. now though i am glad i went through that. i feel impervious to pain now, and far stronger than i was. i won't ever make inappropriate sacrifices again.
with one other exception (a college flame, took years to feel fine over a 9 month relationship), i've always gotten over love interests pretty quickly.
with one other exception (a college flame, took years to feel fine over a 9 month relationship), i've always gotten over love interests pretty quickly.
