How long should you date before moving in?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by TomCat84, May 19, 2010.

  1. TomCat84

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    Anybody have any thoughts on this? I think this may be coming up in my future, both because I really like this dude, and also because the timing is right. That is, we're both looking to reduce our expenses , and we both need to move to new apartments.
     
  2. ATLTommyBoi

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    than do it. if it feels right do it
     
  3. Fleur

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    If it feels right, then do it. You don't have to go by what you think is right. That has gotten me hurt many times before.
     
  4. HiddenLacey

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  5. Countryguy63

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    How long should you date before moving in?

    How long does it take to drive from SD to Monterey??:biggrin1:

    Seriously, if you really want a relationship with this guy, as much as you're going to hate this, I would really get to know him closely first. Nothing ruins it as fast as moving too fast. Timewise, this is different for everybody.

    Believe me, I tend to do that, and I am so glad that we got to know each other very well before we even met. Once we met, having the history behind us, I KNEW it was meant to be!!
     
  6. TomCat84

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    Too bad ExpressJet no longer exists as a stand alone airline. I'd be up there in an hour! :biggrin1:
     
  7. fratpack

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    I would say the time is right when you have morning breath and you don't feel the need torush and brush your teeth before he wakes up. In other words, know the complete package before you take such a step because if it doesn't last one of you is going to get stuck with the lease.
    TomCat84, I've always liked your posts, etc. You seem to have a good head on your shoulders....so you'll know if and when the time is right. Good luck!
     
  8. Gecko4lif

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    1-2 years
     
  9. SpeedoMike

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    you might discuss whether to get a one or two bedroom apartment... see what he says.

    the risk of financial issues going bad if/when you split up is a major consideration. the landlord will make you both sign the lease so either of you will be fully responsible for all rent, repairs, etc. until the lease expires. same if he doesn't have his share of rent or utilities. sorry to be so negative.
     
  10. TomCat84

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    No worries- I appreciate the different insights I get from posting questions on here. :wink:
     
  11. hud01

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    This is what I was thinking. From a relationship standpoint it seems to be a good. The question now is financial and living style.
     
  12. allmale

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    Speaking from past experience, at least a year and a half before moving in. In that time you'll see sides of him you probably never knew. If the passion is still there after that time, move in and have fun.
     
  13. Jason

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    If you've really clicked with him then you are ready to move in. Forget waiting for some set time.
     
  14. scotchirish

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    Ideally I'd say you should try co-habitating at alternating places first. 2-3 days at each place that way you get to know each other and how well you get along with each other while you're the host and he's the guest or the other way. Unless you are officially a resident of a place you are going to behave 'better' than you usually would. In your own place you'll act natural. This way you get to know each other and your behaviors before you have legal obligations.
     
  15. houtx48

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    If we are lesbians 2 hours.
     
  16. Dave NoCal

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    I always said a year and held to that and it still was not a happy relationship. Then, a few years later, I met my husband. We were going to wait longer but it stoppped making sense after about six months. Almost twelve years and three moves later, one cross-country, we are still happily together.
    I think the key question is, and I think we always know the answer, is are you rationalizing the aspects of his personality that will be a challenge later.
    Dave
     
  17. NY4Curious

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    I think if you have to ask the question, you shouldn't even consider moving in together.
    Having said that, I would never move in with someone with whom I was romantically or physically involved to reduce expenses or any practical reason. The only reason I'd want to live with someone is so we could have sex as often as possible and every morning when I woke up, that person would be there, having slept through the night with me.
    When it's right you'll know it. You won't have to ask, you'll be strong enough to demand it. Anything else is bullshit and bound to end up badly.
     
  18. tgirlsrgreat

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    6 mos. at least
     
  19. B_Tonnie

    B_Tonnie New Member

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    Go for it man, if it feels right, go for it. Sometimes you have to let the heart have it's way. Good luck to you both.
     
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