how long would you put up with a lack of sex?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by dolfette, May 3, 2009.

  1. dolfette

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    i reached maximum pissed offedness with the man in early february and told him that his attitude turned me off and i was done with sex.
    i mean, i was celibate & happy with it for years before we met.

    so it's may now.
    and i'm still not giving it up.
    and he's still persisting.

    this confuses me, because he should've gotten bored & left me alone by now. but he's still talking about moving in together...
    obviously he's getting it elsewhere but why not invest more time & emotion in that?

    he's not even pestering for sex...hugs & kisses but no tongues are as far as he's attempted to go.

    it's fucking weird! and perplexing!

    give me guy POV.
     
  2. ZOS23xy

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    You have a weird stalker. Ask him to leave you alone and/or report it.
     
  3. Dr. Algonquin

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    If confused, was this a guy you were in a relationship with and were having sex but then you became unhappy with him and stopped having sex? Or did I misunderstand the post?
     
  4. jumbo747jet

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    If I understood you correctly, you are still seeing eachother, but after some argument you two had, you decided not to give it up to him anymore.

    Could it be that your tactic backfired and you are the one suffering more than he is or could it be that he actually wants to be with you and that sex isn't his only reason for it ?

    If I got the wrong end of the stick and you actually don't want to be involved with this guy anymore, why not just tell him so. Be direct and forward - us guys aren't any good at reading those subtle female signals.
     
  5. dolfette

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    *snicker*
    i'd been seeing him for over a year.
    and, yes, we had a sex life for most of that.
    it's not a tactic.
    i'm quite happy without the sex.
    but i have to assume he's getting some elsewhere because he has a fairly high drive.
    i know he does the whole love thing but i'm confused as to why he's putting in hundreds of miles to spend weekends with me still. it's odd. love only goes so far, right?

    i'm not emotional or sexual myself.
    he's very emotional and sexual.

    there's no hint of frustration, anger, irritation or boredom from him...
    that can't be normal.
     
  6. D_Brecock Evileye

    D_Brecock Evileye New Member

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    very emotional and sexual? sounds like me. I wouldnt cheat, but I would take care of my needs on my own. Sex is a big part of intamacy. I wouldnt stick around long if the relationship was a cold and unloving one. I would have to move on. But that is me, i dont know him. Sorry, I cant help you.
     
  7. jumbo747jet

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    It appears you are asking everybody except for the one person who'd be able to answer you
     
  8. Dr. Algonquin

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    Sounds like you wanted or at least expected him to break up with you and he hasn't. So why don't you save you both some time and break up with him?
     
  9. dolfette

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    i tried.
    he persists.
     
  10. MalakingTiti

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    The truth is, who knows with this guy? He probably doesn't even know why he's still hanging in there. No doubt a lot of people will offer up their theories, but the fact is everyone is different. People do what they do for an array of reasons.
     
  11. youngdane

    youngdane New Member

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    He may actually love you...meaning that his feelings for you run deeper than his need for sex? maybe?
     
  12. QuiteOne

    QuiteOne New Member

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    Sounds to me like you enjoy playing minds games. Why all the drama? Why can't you just express exactly how you feel and try to resolve this.

    Damn... if I were him I'd have run screaming months ago.
     
  13. Kodak101

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    wow, end it and break all ties? is this really that hard, or do you like screwing with the minds of men?
     
  14. dolfette

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    that must be it.
    i'm secretly evil.
     
  15. dongalong

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    Sound like he enjoys your company and has bought a Fleshlight.
     
  16. widenine

    widenine New Member

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    You sound somehow needy. It's clear that he wants more from you than the sex. If he is going through the expense of travel and the work of interaction that's less than fulfilling, he's there for a very good reason. Certainly, it must be ego boosting for you.

    Your post indicates a certain amount of leverage and power in the relationship that you haven't been able to give up. After all, without him you're just little ole you. Sexless and perhaps alone.
    And if that's is definitely all you need to be, then why haven't you made that scenario happen?
    It can't be because you want to spare his heart.
     
    #16 widenine, May 3, 2009
    Last edited: May 3, 2009
  17. dolfette

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    oh dear.
    you've been reading cerial boxes!

    my motivations are...

    i like him.
    but i'm not sure i want to be in a relationship with anyone.
    i like spending time with him.
    but i'm perfectly happy on my own.
    i'm pleased to see him.
    but a few hours later i'm itching to be alone.

    i stopped having sex because i'm not into having sex.
    sex is overrated.

    he knows all this.
    and yet he persues.

    so, if you can at least try to keep on topic, wtf is he bothering?
     
  18. dolfette

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    i don't think he has a fleshlight.

    if it wasn't going to give the wrong signals, i'd buy him one.
     
  19. dongalong

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    OK, from what you say in post 17, I think that not only does he enjoy your company but maybe he sees it as a challenge to "cure" your lack of interest in sex or maybe he just wants to make you desire him again.
    Guys are too simple to be playing mind games, it's more about his ego.
     
  20. beretta8

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    Sounds like dating to me.....
     
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