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Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by redheadinsf, May 2, 2009.
How many dates with a person does it usually take, before you end up in bed together?
It depends, experience has taught me that I do not like having sex on the 1st or 2nd date.
depends on the girl, i would say a good indicator is whether they will kiss on the first date, if she doesnt want to shes probably a prude, and you can expect to wait more than a couple months, so i will usually end it there, only four women i was with went all the way on the first "date", and those all were at frat parties which is different than dating a girl.
i would say on average a woman who i am "dating" will usually blow me around the 3-5th date and we almost always have sex within a couple days after.
I probably do it too soon because I'm usually coming off of a several-months to several-years dry spell when I do date and get the opportunity to have sex!
And the thing about kissing doesn't apply to me. I just don't like kissing. But I LOVE sex! I have only kissed one guy who I actually enjoyed kissing (back when I was 21 years old! He was the first guy I had sex with too). I know, I'm weird... I actually try to like kissing because you're "supposed" to and I just can't! :frown1:
1-7 but I would like to change that to 3-12
Both of my relationships (sad, only had two) began as friendships/ buddies. We didn't actually date. It was more of a later admittance to mutual feelings.
If I'm asking a guy out, chances are, I won't play it for sex. I think it's kind of tacky.
I would advance sexually when I felt he was being affectionate or the mood was right. It's obvious when sex is brought in...
But it's different if you're just hooking up.
If sex comes up in the conversation - I think it's fair to push for it.
Oops, forgot to answer the question. :redface::tongue: While I have had more sex partners, I've only had three serious relationships.
1) Had sex on the first date, because I didn't know it was a date. :tongue: I meant for it to be a one night stand. :redface: He told me he loved me that night and I proceeded to duck him for a week on campus as I thought he was crazy. Ended up dating for 18 months or so and would have married him had he not been an alcoholic.
Assuming end up in bed together, means sex:
2) Took about two years, and more dates than I can count or remember; because he was a devout Catholic. :irked: He was not opposed to doing 'everything else but' as we called it back in the day.
FWIW: It was probably another 18 months after that before we did it in an actual bed. :biggrin1: As neither of us had our own place we made do with a variety of cars, parks, and national monuments. :smile:
3) Not sure how many dates, but I do know it was nine months after the first date that we technically consummated the relationship. :naughty: This guy was special and physically frustrating for me, as he refused to do anything, but kiss in the months leading up to :smileysex5:the big event. Fortunately he was well worth the wait. :kiss: :biggrin1:
Sometimes within minutes, sometimes a month of more....depends...
Maybe cause I'm a bit more old fasion, but I tend to find sex as more of a bond than something I wanna just do with someone who is hot. I go into relationships for the long run, with the intention of finding a wife (obviously, if it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out, but that is what I'm aiming at). So I don't wanna have sex with a girl unless it seems like her intention is for the long run as well.
and I mean, some people go into relationships, knowing they wont last, or have the intention of ending it regardless of how well the two work together, just because they don't wanna get married or be with 1 person for too long of a time. So I wanna make sure I'm not with someone with that mindset. Then I want to have some connection of love. So i can't really make a time of when all that happens...
Assuming the two people like one another, the traditional rule is light smooching on first date, hot making out (and perhaps more) on second date and full-on fucking by third.
If you're not fucking by the end of date three, something's wrong.
I've been looking at this thread for a couple of days to gather my thoughts on the answer. I was a serial dater in the 80's and 90's and someone said to me..."just because you go out with someone for dinner does not mean you have to go home and sleep with them"...my response was "If I didn't want to I would have gone home alone!" Everyone has to make their decisions on these matters based on their comfort level while discussing the issue with the other party and being honest about your feelings.
I want to add that because of the circumstances at the time...My other half and I had to wait two years from the time we met until the fireworks went off but on our real first date it happened the same night...it's a long story but each situation in life is unique.
It really depends on the chemistry. If I feel that there could be more, I have on occassion threw caution to the wind and acted like a wild animal. I just haven't met a well endowed guy lately that's not a pyscho stalker. lol
For me, whenever it feels right, minutes to years.
Only problem, the past six months I have been dating people without sex because it hasn't felt right. Perhaps my sexual tastes have changed recently, but I do not feel sexually attracted to anyone I'm dating - would not fuck one of them. :no:
So, I guess my answer is, until I'm dating someone that "woos and wows" me with sufficient ardor. Or I'll date without sex, but have a FWB on the side to "scratch the itch" until I feel a good connection.
Not weird at all. I have a friend that is the same way, she just isn't the touchy-feely type women are expected to be. Strangely, she's with a very demonstrative guy and it is the first time ever she hasn't felt pressured to be the affectionate one in a LTR.
None to about 4 or 5. There have been people I've started dating, thinking I was going to get laid, and discovered I liked them better as friends than as lovers.
If nothing sexual's happened by date 4 or 5, I'm moving on. They may be friends, but we're not dating any more.
I tend to "push it" with dates, i.e. I'm usually the one to start to kiss, try to fondle/makeout/massage, try to take part of all of one of our clothes off I've been with folks who didn't mind me being mostly naked, but they weren't going to part with a stitch of their clothing), try to get a blowjob or have some form of intercourse.
If your looking for a long term partner maybe 3 dates ?
However if your young free and single are in your prime just fuck straight away half way through the first date and see if you like what the have to offer.
sex is an important part of my life more then money are being steady
so everyones different depends what you want and if your gonna get it :tongue:
It really depends on the dates themselves. When I was younger, I had cannycrumpet's philosophy but I found myself losing respect for myself and the girls.
Now that I'm a bit older (still young, 20 in 10 days :tongue, I enjoy building a strong tension, both sensual and sexual, over a few dates with increasing physical contact. This also gives me time to get a better feel for the girl and see if she really is right for me.
I've had enough sex in my life so that now it's more about finding the girl who deserves me and the pleasure I can give her. I believe this is what most hung men come into.