So Maybe I'm doing something wrong, but I was married to a woman and now I am married to a man. Sex with my husband is like the most difficult thing when compared to my ex wife. Like his hole is soooo tight and it frustrates me. I haven't been with a woman since we been together but damn. Might be the wrong thread but any ideas what I need to do to make sex easier besides lube.
How many married men indulge their bi side with guys
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302MouthWatering
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I love pussy but it's something about sucking a masculine man off that I will always LOVE
I was married for 12 years and this describes my situation. During the later years of my marriage, the situation became sexless - maybe once or twice per year, so I would mess around with guys every 3 or 4 months. The urge would go away, then build up again to the point I would act on it. After a couple of years, the guilt ended. I decided "this is just who I am, and it sucks, but it's the way it is." Married with 3 kids, sexless relationship, messing around on the side. Kept it discreet, kept myself safe and healthy, and stopped worrying about it.
Since becoming single again, I've been having m2m fun at about the same rate, which sort of surprised me. I would have thought once it wasn't cheating, I would do it more. But the urges still build at about the same rate, and I have gotten a bit older and more aware of the risks.
Seeing all the great cocks on this site definitely increases my urges, in a very good way
Renn
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Why would a bi married man fuck around with anyone either than his wife? Do bi's
have different rules than everyone else? You know, the one where you marry the person you have sex with? Or, are we talking about cheating?
have different rules than everyone else? You know, the one where you marry the person you have sex with? Or, are we talking about cheating?
heirtothewind
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MILWJOCKNOW raises a good point- Is sex by a married man with a guy considered to be cheating?
In ancient Rome [I had always wanted to be a professor of Latin and classical archaeology], the answer was NO. In fact, it was an affirmative defense to a charge of adultery, declared by a moralistic Augustus Caesar [27 BC - AD 14] to be a crime, unless the married man was the recipient of the penis rather than the inserter of his penis.
In more recent times, I have blown and fucked many married men who just needed sex they did not get not home. No big deal.
Viper73
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Why does someone ALWAYS have to play the 'cheating' card??
Is jacking off cheating? No
Is grabbing a beer or a sandwich with a buddy? No
Getting your nuts off once in awhile with a buddy is just a another form of masturbation or male bonding... I'd say for most of us that are on the straighter end of the spectrum there is no emotional or physical attachment at all. We're just friends that are dealing with the same problem only doing it together.
We're not going to date, marry, have kids, etc.
We're horny and not getting enough or the kind of sex we like (usually oral) and have had to take matters into our own hands most of the time and might as well help each other out.
Is jacking off cheating? No
Is grabbing a beer or a sandwich with a buddy? No
Getting your nuts off once in awhile with a buddy is just a another form of masturbation or male bonding... I'd say for most of us that are on the straighter end of the spectrum there is no emotional or physical attachment at all. We're just friends that are dealing with the same problem only doing it together.
We're not going to date, marry, have kids, etc.
We're horny and not getting enough or the kind of sex we like (usually oral) and have had to take matters into our own hands most of the time and might as well help each other out.
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Just because you don't like the definition of the word, doesn't change it. Lol. This is a funny topic.
I'm married and most guys I suck off are married too.
Viper73
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Thanks...
It just pisses me off when some folks seem to think that if a guy is married and isn't getting head at home he's supposed to what? Just do without and miss out on that entire form of pleasure.
If you and a like minded buddy have the same issue and can take matters into your own hands - good for you.
Though if he's over at the neighbors house getting blown by the babysitter that's an entirely different situation.
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The issue isn't what the people who are doing it think. We can find things to justify actions all day! What matters are the feelings of their partners. By definition it's deception if it's not expected behaviour or without consent. For many traditional monogamy isn't practical maybe more would be better off in more flexible unions.
I think there is a internal justification for (some) married guys who fool around with guys that it isn't cheating as there is no emotion or attraction in the same way involved and it's just sex (for the record, although not married I am an example of this)
I see it closer to watching porn or jerking off than I do having an affair.
I see it closer to watching porn or jerking off than I do having an affair.
This all sounds like justification for cheating.
However, if you tell your wife and she's ok with it there's nothing wrong with it. I'm more and more surprised at how many married couples are ok with such actions.
However, if you tell your wife and she's ok with it there's nothing wrong with it. I'm more and more surprised at how many married couples are ok with such actions.
m2msexadventures
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Interesting thread! A question I would like to put to all those who are conflicted by their feelings about "cheating" on their spouses (guilt or otherwise) - In your relationship, who is really cheating who? In marriages, I have never fully understood why one spouse wants to deny the other spouse a fulfilling and richly rewarding life and place so much emphasis on sexual fidelity as a key factor to defining what a rich and rewarding life is. Many men, and women, have a basic desire to explore who they are, and want to experience as much of life's experiences as they can. Taking a lifelong sexual vow, and being forced to keep it, either through self-restraint or from the threat of a breakup of a relationship is both naive and unrealistic. Couples should work together to see that both partners have the most rich and rewarding lives possible, and to deny the other such an opportunity is, IMHO cheating.
As Viper73 said, sex is sex and it does not define a relationship. It is only one aspect of a relationship and there are other far more important considerations such as being supportive, working together as a team etc. If one wants to have a sexual experience(s) that a spouse cannot provide, what is the real harm in going out and having such an experience? I submit that by fulfilling such desires one is actually doing their spouse a favor since it will not lead to feelings of resentment or unfulfillment of one's goals in life. As long as one does not put their overall relationship in jeopardy, then no harm has been done and in fact their relationship is likely to be improved by such experiences. So again, who is harming who and who is cheating the other? Why feel guilty about something you desire and act on that is as harmless as having a purely sexual experience with someone of your same sex?
As Viper73 said, sex is sex and it does not define a relationship. It is only one aspect of a relationship and there are other far more important considerations such as being supportive, working together as a team etc. If one wants to have a sexual experience(s) that a spouse cannot provide, what is the real harm in going out and having such an experience? I submit that by fulfilling such desires one is actually doing their spouse a favor since it will not lead to feelings of resentment or unfulfillment of one's goals in life. As long as one does not put their overall relationship in jeopardy, then no harm has been done and in fact their relationship is likely to be improved by such experiences. So again, who is harming who and who is cheating the other? Why feel guilty about something you desire and act on that is as harmless as having a purely sexual experience with someone of your same sex?
swimmersox
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Well, I do. Indulge on the side, that is.
Maybe that's bad.
Maybe, too, that's part of why my wife and I are separated.
But we get along and still do have (pretty hot) sex.
I think my bi side is both a sexual turn-on for her (sometimes), but is also basically a negative when it comes to the emotional life-partner thing.
Being honest has worked OK for me, sort of, but I realize a lot of married guys have no choice but to be furtive about it.
Maybe that's bad.
Maybe, too, that's part of why my wife and I are separated.
But we get along and still do have (pretty hot) sex.
I think my bi side is both a sexual turn-on for her (sometimes), but is also basically a negative when it comes to the emotional life-partner thing.
Being honest has worked OK for me, sort of, but I realize a lot of married guys have no choice but to be furtive about it.
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I think for me the cheating thing comes down to an issue of dishonesty and disclosure.
In my experience, being bi allows an interesting insight on long term relationships for both straight and gay couples. Gay couples I know seem much more ready to acknowledge and accept that sometimes while the companionship and love in a relationship can stay strong the sexual side isn't always fulfilled as completely as the years clock up. Sometimes, this can be resolved by going outside of the relationship or playing together with others but it needs to be handled honestly with respect and trust.
I just think if there is an aspect of you and your desires that you or your partner isn't acknowledging then that probably needs to be addressed. Being honest with yourself and your partner is important isn't it? There is nothing wrong with an unconventional relationship if it works for all parties concerned. In fact, I find it inspiring when couples can find a place that is right for them that may not be seen as 'right' or even possible for the majority of people. It illustrates the openness, loyalty and strength of their love.
It's not fair for anyone in a relationship to say that their partner should do without sex or an aspect of sex because it doesn't interest them just as much as it isn't fair to go behind someone's back or deceive them that you are being faithful to them when you really aren't, no?
In my experience, being bi allows an interesting insight on long term relationships for both straight and gay couples. Gay couples I know seem much more ready to acknowledge and accept that sometimes while the companionship and love in a relationship can stay strong the sexual side isn't always fulfilled as completely as the years clock up. Sometimes, this can be resolved by going outside of the relationship or playing together with others but it needs to be handled honestly with respect and trust.
I just think if there is an aspect of you and your desires that you or your partner isn't acknowledging then that probably needs to be addressed. Being honest with yourself and your partner is important isn't it? There is nothing wrong with an unconventional relationship if it works for all parties concerned. In fact, I find it inspiring when couples can find a place that is right for them that may not be seen as 'right' or even possible for the majority of people. It illustrates the openness, loyalty and strength of their love.
It's not fair for anyone in a relationship to say that their partner should do without sex or an aspect of sex because it doesn't interest them just as much as it isn't fair to go behind someone's back or deceive them that you are being faithful to them when you really aren't, no?
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