How many of you have ever seriously contemplated suicide?

Marto.Melb

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Suicides the worst thing ever, Death wise, I had a close friend talk about it repeatably for about 6 months and i thought nothing of it, then when it got too far by the time i acted it was too late, ever since then ive wanted to take back a month just so i can warn people, i feel so bad and ashamed every day that my best friend is gone becuse i brushed it off

if anyone ever talks to you about it take it serious, you can never tell what a person is thinking
 

Kyronn Young

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ok you're obviously dangerously pessimistic.

but then again , how can you speak for " the majority " of people on this planet ? how can you speak for animals ? and if you really did think life was such a curse , then you would have already committed suicide. so it seems , in my opinion , you are simply being an attention whore. only some pretentious bastard wouldnt appreciate getting to experience life


I don’t think they are dangerously pessimistic. I think that they see life for what it truly is. I believe that life is a curse, but killing myself is not the very next thing I did when I came to this realization. I’d say that the only thing keeping any human around is their desires and curiosity. And I’d say it’s really dramatic of you to say that this person is “an attention whore.” That sounds really theatrical to me. Being that this really isn’t a topic people like talking about in the first place, and also the fact that it is such a small thread. And also, the thing you said next was really intriguing because it just sounds stupid: “ only some pretentious bastard wouldnt appreciate getting to experience life”
that just doesn’t make any sense, explain that. What do you mean by that?
 

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I have seriously contemplated suicide nearly every day of my life since I was a teen. I am too big of a pussy to ever do it though because I am afraid I wouldn't succeed.

If euthanasia were ever legalized here in the states the way it is in the Netherlands where I could just go to a doctor and tell them I am tired of living and have myself euthanized by a medical professional so I know I won't wake up I would definitely go for that. I doubt it will ever happen though because there are too many religious nutters who would raise hell.

I have been unemployed for nearly a decade (thanks to Obama's failed economic policies) and being over 40 have little chance of ever finding another decent paying job. I am just bored with life and have absolutely no interest in living another 40 or 50 years. I watched my grandparents and great grandparents get old and die in their mid 90s-100s and that shit is just NOT FOR ME!

I want to go out on my own terms before I end up in some old folks home. Maybe if I were married and had kids and grandkids I would feel differently, Not sure.
 
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sizehungry

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Nah , fuck it ! ! Was going to offer something here , but given that it would fall mostly on the obtuse , deaf ears of a few " self obsessed " alpha type males , I can,t be bothered . Fuck off you pricks , you know who you are . Your expertise could be inscribed on the head of a pin . Seriously .
 

sizehungry

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I have seriously contemplated suicide nearly every day of my life since I was a teen. I am too big of a pussy to ever do it though because I am afraid I wouldn't succeed.

If euthanasia were ever legalized here in the states the way it is in the Netherlands where I could just go to a doctor and tell them I am tired of living and have myself euthanized by a medical professional so I know I won't wake up I would definitely go for that. I doubt it will ever happen though because there are too many religious nutters who would raise hell.

I have been unemployed for nearly a decade (thanks to Obama's failed economic policies) and being over 40 have little chance of ever finding another decent paying job. I am just bored with life and have absolutely no interest in living another 40 or 50 years. I watched my grandparents and great grandparents get old and die in their mid 90s-100s and that shit is just NOT FOR ME!

I want to go out on my own terms before I end up in some old folks home. Maybe if I were married and had kids and grandkids I would feel differently, Not sure.
Understand completely . Good on you for having the honesty & balls to say so .
 

halcyondays

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I seriously considered suicide in high school but never admitted it to anyone. I had a massive crush on a girl who shot me down. It was unbearable unrequited love. I moped around for months sophomore year. Two things pulled me out of it:

Mom sat me down and explained that I could not expect a girl to feel for me what I feel for her. She reminded me that there were girls who had crushes on me that I didn't return. The gist was that I was responsible for my own feelings, not a victim. Nor was I responsible for the heartache of girls who crushed on me.

Mom also taught me that men ask and women say no. She encouraged me to ask lots of girls and accept rejection without rancor. You should be dating lots of girls, she said. You're too young to be so serious about just one. You might be surprised who says yes. She was right. I intentionally asked out girls I knew would say no and learned not to take it personally.

The second thing was yoga. I got into it as an extension of flexibility training for high school athletics. Once it became a meditation it changed my teen brain. Calmed me. Centered me. It gave me perspective I had never experienced. It has been my foundation since.

At the time it must have seemed to my mother that her advice hit deaf ears. Like many moody teens I wasn't receptive but the fact that she talked to me about it made all the difference in a short time. That was forty years ago. Thank you mom.
 

Tight_N_Juicy

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I grew up watching my father battle thoughts of suicide, and his father lost that battle when my father was very young.

I have a very complex opinion on suicide, I have lost friends this way, almost lost my family this way. I don't hold grudges like I used to anymore. I don't ask "what could I have done differently?"

Outside of those who are terminally ill, or just old and suffering, I don't agree that death is the answer to the pain of life. At the same time, I understand what it's like to just Not want to exist anymore. I've been able to see this topic from both sides, from the time I came into the world.

It's not a black and white, yes or no, true or false kind of topic. It's complicated as all fuckin hell.
 
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1059907

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Yes.
- homophobia runs in my family and the thought of me being with a man can have me thrown out of my family
- my mom did say if i'm gay I would have to leave the house but I love them way to hard to just let go.
- I feel misunderstood a lot , i feel like when I love someone i cant express it because of the hate and teasing I recieve
- i was bullied real bad, got banged up in a lift and the video was put over facebook , the guy who i had a huge crush on was the first to like , share and comment HAHA, it broke my fucking heart. i was 17 at that time.
- the bullying followed me upto college and got teased as people suspected me to be gay

Reason why I dont want to do it: My family , I love them so much and waking up to see my mom, sisters and dad and hear them laugh and talk warms my heart. I have a few friends who I love dearly as well and so I hope to carry on with that.

"hope is the only thing stronger than fear" I tell myself this all the time along with "god gives his biggest battles from the strong", this might not be true but i do carry on with it
 
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1059907

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I have seriously contemplated suicide nearly every day of my life since I was a teen. I am too big of a pussy to ever do it though because I am afraid I wouldn't succeed.

If euthanasia were ever legalized here in the states the way it is in the Netherlands where I could just go to a doctor and tell them I am tired of living and have myself euthanized by a medical professional so I know I won't wake up I would definitely go for that. I doubt it will ever happen though because there are too many religious nutters who would raise hell.

I have been unemployed for nearly a decade (thanks to Obama's failed economic policies) and being over 40 have little chance of ever finding another decent paying job. I am just bored with life and have absolutely no interest in living another 40 or 50 years. I watched my grandparents and great grandparents get old and die in their mid 90s-100s and that shit is just NOT FOR ME!

I want to go out on my own terms before I end up in some old folks home. Maybe if I were married and had kids and grandkids I would feel differently, Not sure.
I hope you hold on to, I really do. its hard but I;m sure things will work out . if you need someone to talk too you can talk to me here. i'm stupid usually but i would love to hear you out
 
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Gj816

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Yes I did when I was a pre teen, and throughout young adult hood. I was molested multiple times by a married pervert in my neighborhood. At the time I was afraid to tell anyone what was happening to me. So it continued on until I was in high school. And finally he stopped. Guess I got too old for him.

I finally resigned myself to the fact that it was going to happen and after several months accepted that it was just a part of my life. I sadly even reached the point that I didn't fight it anymore and just let him do what he wanted to do to me. (It's not like I could've stopped him) Whether it was sucking his cock or him fucking me until he got off in me. He didn't have a small cock either.

By the time I was an adult I was so fucked up that I thought everybody has sex with everybody else regardless of what sex you were. Hell even his son and nephew and a couple of guys down the street were using me for sex. They were fucking me and I'd suck them off sometimes two of them a day. It was a very dark place in my life.

I often thought of committing suicide. I guess at that age fear of going to hell is what kept me from going through with it. Of course I was a child and really didn't know much about those things other than I knew what was happening to me was wrong and I couldn't control it or stop it. I really felt guilty after I started enjoying having sex with the man that was molesting me. Pretty fucked up huh? But,

I've since come to terms with all of that. The man who did that to me passed away several yrs ago. I realize he was a sex crazed nut job. No telling who else I grew up with he did that to.

I guess in retrospect that that's why it's easy for me to move back and forth between men and women. Probably why until I was about 23 I had sex exclusively with men. Guess I was what you'd call a fem twink at that point in my life. It sort of fucked me up pretty good. But that's in the past and it's not who I am anymore. I don't ever think of suicide any longer. If you are I hope you'll talk to sometime who'll listen. You can always pm me I'll listen and try to help if I can.
 

Daniel Jeffries

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Yes I did when I was a pre teen, and throughout young adult hood. I was molested multiple times by a married pervert in my neighborhood. At the time I was afraid to tell anyone what was happening to me. So it continued on until I was in high school. And finally he stopped. Guess I got too old for him.

I finally resigned myself to the fact that it was going to happen and after several months accepted that it was just a part of my life. I sadly even reached the point that I didn't fight it anymore and just let him do what he wanted to do to me. (It's not like I could've stopped him) Whether it was sucking his cock or him fucking me until he got off in me. He didn't have a small cock either.

By the time I was an adult I was so fucked up that I thought everybody has sex with everybody else regardless of what sex you were. Hell even his son and nephew and a couple of guys down the street were using me for sex. They were fucking me and I'd suck them off sometimes two of them a day. It was a very dark place in my life.

I often thought of committing suicide. I guess at that age fear of going to hell is what kept me from going through with it. Of course I was a child and really didn't know much about those things other than I knew what was happening to me was wrong and I couldn't control it or stop it. I really felt guilty after I started enjoying having sex with the man that was molesting me. Pretty fucked up huh? But,

I've since come to terms with all of that. The man who did that to me passed away several yrs ago. I realize he was a sex crazed nut job. No telling who else I grew up with he did that to.

I guess in retrospect that that's why it's easy for me to move back and forth between men and women. Probably why until I was about 23 I had sex exclusively with men. Guess I was what you'd call a fem twink at that point in my life. It sort of fucked me up pretty good. But that's in the past and it's not who I am anymore. I don't ever think of suicide any longer. If you are I hope you'll talk to sometime who'll listen. You can always pm me I'll listen and try to help if I can.

Sorry that you had to go thru that shit.
 

IntactMale

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I remember the exact moment in third grade when I made the decision that I would end my life. Some synapse in my brain fired and made me realize the futility of life, the torture of waiting, and the uncertainty of the timing, and I knew I wanted to be in control of it. Not that I would do it immediately, but that my end had to be within my own control. I still feel this way and am confident that when the time is right I will end my life myself, rather than waiting for circumstance or the torture of aging into death. It doesn't need to be a sad and depressing thing, we all die, and some of us just want to be in control of it.
 

Gj816

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I remember the exact moment in third grade when I made the decision that I would end my life. Some synapse in my brain fired and made me realize the futility of life, the torture of waiting, and the uncertainty of the timing, and I knew I wanted to be in control of it. Not that I would do it immediately, but that my end had to be within my own control. I still feel this way and am confident that when the time is right I will end my life myself, rather than waiting for circumstance or the torture of aging into death. It doesn't need to be a sad and depressing thing, we all die, and some of us just want to be in control of it.


Well @IntactMale I hope that it's a long way off. There's too much to life to do it now. Besides you've got a great body and a gorgeous cock Hangin between those sexy legs..
 

IntactMale

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Well @IntactMale I hope that it's a long way off. There's too much to life to do it now. Besides you've got a great body and a gorgeous cock Hangin between those sexy legs..

Thanks. It's no time soon, things are good in my life. I think most people who have these thoughts and get over that teenage and early 20s hump of dour thought will find the same is true for them. But someday, I hope I stay true to myself. It doesn't have to be a bad thing.
 
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hammer75

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I tried when I was 19. A lot of it was tied to my small package. A girl I really liked had just told me that she was going to go with my best friend because she couldn’t see herself being satisfied with my small cock, he was packing nearly 9, so I understood that reasoning. She also told me that she actually liked me more but believed she could change him enough so that he would be right for her in everything. I was also having a difficult time deciding what path to go down in life generally, work and such, and this size thing just put me over the top. I hadn’t had a girlfriend up to this point, most knew of my limited “blessing”, and I tried to be charming to make up for all of my shortcomings but it just didn’t work. So one night I grabbed some bottles of pills and drove to a discreet location and swallowed two bottles worth while listening to music. I drove home, it was around midnight and everyone was asleep, and watched tv for a bit. Got hungry so I ate one chocolate chip cookie and started to feel like I was going to puke. I ran to the bathroom which was next to my parents door and heaved all over the place, probably threw up half the pills. I cleaned up and went to bed. I woke up after being asleep for more than a day and I was having trouble breathing, part of it was that the od had reacted to my stomach and my tongue was round, engorged and sticking out of my mouth. My parents when they saw this rushed me to the er and long story short I barely made it. Spent some time in a psych ward and an outpatient program but a month later they had to call the cops because I had a knife jammed in my arm and I was threatening to run it up to my elbow. Went into a facility for a few weeks and came out a little better but after awhile resorted to drugs, alcohol and a lot of porn to deal with my issue. I guess I am better now, I was 19 then and 43 now, been sober for a decade but still deal with size issues. My ex wife left me because of incompatibility issues, a lot had to do with my small cock but also she wanted money,and my wife now who is awesome also would like a much bigger one but is happy with who I am apart from it so is willing to trade off. I don’t think my struggle will leave me until I die but I am thankful for getting past the suicide issues and substance abuse problems of my past.
 
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Gj816

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Wow I'm glad you made it buddy. I know this doesn't help but, size is something that neither of us can help. And the best thing we can do is use what we have well. As long as you know how to use what you've got that's all that should matter. I grew up down the street from a guy who was small maybe 3 or 4" s.. It never kept him from getting pussy, or hanging multiple girlfriends.

Be confident in the skills you have with what ever size you have to work with. Fuck the best you know how. Confidence is half the battle. Women love a man who is confident about himself. Don't stress so much over something that you had no control over. Accept that it is what it is and be the best lay you can be with it.
 
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deleted1074483

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sadly yes when I was first coming to terms with being gay and all the implications of that, remembering that 30+ years ago and in small town/rural England it wasn't easy being different, I'm very glad now that I didn't as I generally enjoy my life and am content with who and what I am but that's taken time and work to get to. My heart goes out to all the others out there that didn't make it through or have considered this, its a pretty bleak place to be.
 

Almost40

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I suffered chronic insomnia many years ago. Heartbrake (no fuckin kiddin!) was the reason. Man was I stupid. Loosing your sleep makes u go crazy.As a result, suicide was stuck in my fucked up brain. I wasnt conciously thinking about it, my brain was just playing this trick on me. Well it turned out i was too stubborn to give up. I opted for a physical work out, to cause my body to function propperly again and eventulaly go back to sleep. Damn it worked just fine, it took a while, but it balanced the crazy stuff I had in my head, drug free, without any medical support ( boy do I hate drugs). Im not sure it was the right thing to do, or if someone else should try this, but it did a hell of a good job to me. Its been many years and i never faced any simillar problem again, or experienced suicidial tendencices not even a bit. Besides the tension from my job, that makes me quite nervous from time to time, preventing me from a a good night's sleep, everything is back to normal. "Had the melody not reached its end it would not have reached its goal either".
 

AdamHenry

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A few times. The closest I ever came was when I was diagnosed with diabetes. Being a first responder, you see the hardships and challenges of this disease. You have patients who live in your service area who are diabetic. So you can see the progression and challenges they faced over time when you treat them, and take them to the hospitals. When I was diagnosed, I was devastated. I just wanted to walk out of that ER and right in front of a Mack truck. That's how fucked I felt. Been close to 20 years now and I am having some progression of the illness, but I'm fighting on. Side effects of some of the medications is a pain. I have a few injuries I got on the job that's changed my life. I'm in constant pain. Lately, the feeling of depression has returned. I lost a few close family members and friends within the last few months to cancer, diabetes, and suicide. I've lost 3 co-workes to suicide within the past year alone. And I constantly relive some of the fatal and horrible emergency responses that continue to haunt me in my 29 years of being a first responder, which is another issue all on it's own. I think that has a lot to do with the way I'm feeling right now.

Being Bisexual is a pain in the ass also. I haven't been in a serious relationship in a while. Its like you don't fit in any category. Been with women 90% of my life but have been intimate with guys in the last two years. So far, its just complicating things. All in All, I would give anything not to be this way. I'd rather be Gay or Straight, but not Bi. Although I never cheated, I always felt I was not being truthful in my relationships. This part hurts so much that I will go years without seriously dating because It felt better to be alone than to be conflicted about which gender to be with exclusively. It just felt better to be by myself so I don't hurt anyone emotionally. I'm also getting tired of the questions from family and friends asking me about still being single. Why haven't I gotten married yet, etc. You know the drill.

I feel at times if I die, then my problems would fix themselves. I will not be in pain and I can sleep forever. But then I think about how my friends and family would feel If I were to take my life. They would be devastated. My nephew for starters. I know how it feels to be left behind to pick up the pieces because I've had people close to me take their lives. So I press on. When I have the bad days, I do things to make me forget about my pain. You got to have an outlet. Talk to someone. It's what keeps me going. At the end of the day, I can't be selfish and leave the people I love wondering if there was something they could have done to prevent my suicide. So I'm riding this out, taking the the good, the bad, and the ugly. Because there are the good days. And I cherish them greatly.

Sorry about the long winded rant. I consider my issues mild compared to some of the comments I've read above. However, I still feel at times depressed about my situation. I'm sharing my story because someone else may be experiencing any part of this. You're not alone and you can pull through this. If I can do it, so can you. Believe me I'm not that strong. You have have to talk to someone. If you cant talk to anyone within your circle for what ever reason, then call the suicide hotline 1-800-273-8255. You can PM me also. If I can keep pushing on to continue my life. So can you. There will be people who will miss your presence if you take it.
 
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