How many of you have turned down job offers?

clear

Just Browsing
Joined
Oct 18, 2006
Posts
94
Media
4
Likes
0
Points
226
Location
Los Angeles, CA, USA
Sexuality
99% Gay, 1% Straight
Gender
Male
Hey all,

I'm just writing because I am in an interesting situation. I recently got caught in a bidding war between two companies. Well... that's not entirely true, lol (they don't know they are in a bidding war, lol). But that's not the problem. Currently, I do not want to work for either of them until I first get word back from a third I am really trying to get employed by (I just recently began a formal inquire with the third one, over these past few days). Not that the other two are bad or anything, it's just I would have to relocate out of the country to take them- for a minimum of two years. In fact, one of these companies I already turned down- once before -at the beginning of the year (for an entirely different reason). Now I am feeling bad that I might have to do it again- and now to this other one -because I am trying to hold out for what the third has to say. Additionally, the third would not require me to move anywhere because it is based here; specifically the state where I live.

My question is, what would you all do in my situation? Would you hold out for a chance with the company you really want to work for- but are not guaranteed to get? Or would you take one of the sure offers you already have in front of you- but have to relocate out of the country to do it?

Thanks in advance for all beneficial comments.

Regards,

T.D.

Ciao-:cool:
 

whatireallywant

Sexy Member
Joined
Jun 4, 2007
Posts
3,535
Media
0
Likes
31
Points
183
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Female
I had something of a similar situation happen to me a couple of years ago. I turned down one job (that I would've had to move to Mississippi for) to take a job where I wouldn't have to move. (I was offered the two jobs maybe two days apart!).

Relocating out of the country, hmmm? Well, I kind of consider moving to Mississippi to be relocating to another country. :biggrin1: A lot of my jobs in my field (well, now the field I'm trying to get back into!) have relocated to India. I don't know that they really move people from the US to India for the jobs though. They sometimes move people from India to the US, or move the jobs to India and hire people in India...

I don't know if I'd move out of the country or not. I think it would depend on which country, and also how much the job would pay, and would it have security (like, I wouldn't move to another country just to lose my job 3 or 6 months later!)
 
2

2322

Guest
Depends where you would be living. Do you know what countries they'd be sending you to and what are the COLAs? Relocation can be a hell of a lot of fun if you're young and single and going some place interesting. It'll be part of your life to remember. The downside is relocating to foreign cultures can be daunting and particularly so if you don't know the language or the culture. What seemed wonderful may become a prison. Working abroad also looks great on your resume. Shows dedication and maturity along with sophistication. Just be sure it's someplace gay-friendly. In some countries it's "off with your head," if you're caught.

What's so great about this third company that's not even in the bidding war besides the fact you get to stay in lovely (but generic) Sherman Oaks?
 

clear

Just Browsing
Joined
Oct 18, 2006
Posts
94
Media
4
Likes
0
Points
226
Location
Los Angeles, CA, USA
Sexuality
99% Gay, 1% Straight
Gender
Male
...What's so great about this third company that's not even in the bidding war besides the fact you get to stay in lovely (but generic) Sherman Oaks?

LOL...LOL...LOL...:biggrin1:

You made my night with that one Jason.

Now to answer a few of the questions voiced here so far. To start, the country I am speaking of is not bad at all. It's actually the good old UK; specifically London. I have been there before and absolutely Love her people, their culture (and unique sensibilities), and of course it's proximity to every other major European destination. Plus the whole language thing would be a none-issue if I were to go.

Concerning what's so great about this third company... let's just say job security over all. To be fair though, the first two offered me contracts of one-two years respectively, but each informed that- more likely then not -they would be extended it to at least three. So I would be staying put for a while if I did head over seas. But the third company offers comparable contracts as well. Also, the third company is among the highest payers in our industry. The two London based companies have so far offered me £52,000 and £67,000 respectively, per annum. Good offers, but still much less then what I want/am worth.

Now the ironic thing is that the third company could offer me the same as the aforementioned (or lower even), but I would still take it. Why? Well, because the workload is so... so much less there. Now add to that descent pay (probably something around $95k), full benefits for me and my spouse (should I ever get one; they are super gay friendly), a full month of vacation time (not counting sick days or Christmas Holiday time), and they feed their employees breakfast, and lunch (and dinner for those who actually do stay/work late), free of charge. Not to mention their campus is so freaking awesome! (I have been there way to many times for visits/lunch...lol).

Anyway, I could go on, and on about how great they are. Alas, I have only just now began my courting ritual with them, and am keen to see what they think/say about me (fingers crossed:redface:).

Regards,

T.D.

P.S. Sherman Oaks is awesome for the most part. It's just the heat I have a problem with at times. It's still in the valley after all.:tongue:

Ciao-

T.
 
Last edited:
2

2322

Guest
That is quite a difference in pay given how bloody expensive London is. The sad part is that pay history is of prime importance in your resume. To take a job which pays less than your worth is a blot you can't get rid of and might cause problems with future employment and salary negotiations. You, however, are being paid more in pounds than what you'd be paid in dollars so it really isn't terrible at all and, in fact, adds about $10,000 to your salary history. That's not shabby.

Are the London people offering you any kind of relocation assistance or rent supplement? If they're not, living in London (a decent part anyway) won't be easy. A one bedroom in the west end starts from £1300 (in Holland Park where you can hang out with Eddy and Pats) and goes way up the closer you get to the city. A monthly subway pass is £86 and your weekly grocery bill will be about £60 and that's if you eat cheap. Eating out a lot, as you're single, will add substantially as will VAT and income taxes. This is a good link about London rental prices.

On the other hand, living in London would be great for you and I think you'd have a blast getting around the island and the continent. It would be a cultural experience of a lifetime and everyone I know who has done it has loved it.

I'd also take the London job because the dollar is likely to drop in value even more versus the pound and will stay there for some time. If you watch your pence, you should be able to do well when it comes to go home. If you're lucky, you may even find a nice British beau and get hitched giving you access to an EU passport and all the opportunities that brings.

If I were you, I'd take the London job. Really, what campus can compare to London and having Europe on your doorstep? You'd be earning more in dollars over there than here, you'd have access to many of the great cities of the world, and you could find yourself with more opportunities. I have a few friends just a little younger than you and two of them have left North America with no intention of returning. They see Europe as far more sensible, reasonable, easy to live in, and easy to retire in.

Take a risk and be adventurous. You have no idea what opportunities may come knocking within your contract period. They may say they have no interest in renewing now, but nothing lasts such a short time as office policies and during that time you may find other employers in other places.
 
2

2322

Guest
Think of your dear Auntie Mame. "Life is a banquet...," so don't be a sucker.
 
2

2322

Guest
Or let me put it this way. You're sitting at home on a Friday night there in Sherman Oaks.

Bet you won't do that in London.
 

crossy

Sexy Member
Joined
Nov 24, 2007
Posts
1,270
Media
0
Likes
33
Points
123
Location
Arizona
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Male
Many years ago I was offered a job at Starbucks seperating the fly shit from the coffee beans in the burlap bags. It required a sharp eye. I felt that I was overqualified for the position.
 

flame boy

Account Disabled
Joined
Feb 4, 2008
Posts
3,189
Media
0
Likes
197
Points
123
Sexuality
No Response
Depends on how adventurous you want to be. Are either of the London companies offering to fund your relocation? The one major thing about moving to the UK from the US is the cultural differences, very minor things but in time they may become bothersome. The lack of "good food" and "watchable television" being two main gripes from my American partner.

Living in London is actually not that expensive, sure if you want to live on the river overlooking Parliament then you can expect to pay for it, but London is a well connected city and the tube / train system covers far and wide. You could live in many perfectly affordable and nice places and still only be a tube / train ride away from the city centre.

Try and weigh up what you would gain from doing it, and what you would lose. If you really want to hold out for the other job how would you feel if you didn't get it?

If you're lucky, you may even find a nice British beau and get hitched giving you access to an EU passport and all the opportunities that brings.

While this is a lovely thought Jason, it's sadly not as idealistic as it sounds. A gay American would have a legal right to "marry" a UK citizen under the civil partnership act only once going through an application to get permission to form a CP from the UK government. Next, due to the legal red tape he would have to go through a series of interviews to "prove" he is the persons partner, pay 3 sets of £1000 in applications and then only be granted a 2 year stay. After the 2 years he would have to reapply all over again (through the same costly process) and the end result is "Indefinite leave to remain" but this doesn't not give him access to an EU passport, he would need to apply for full UK citizenship in order to get a red passport. His ILTR only applies to the UK and no other EU countries.

Also, meeting a someone from the UK sucks for American same sex people. Your UK partner would not be legally recognised as any form of partner when going to the US (even if you went to Mass. etc, and got married - it still wouldn't count). There is no legal way for two same sex partners from the UK and US to legally "be together" in America. If his work contract is only for three years, he would have to return to the US after this time - without any possible partner. Trust me, it can cause a lot of heartbreak and problems.

There's good and bad points to the move, weigh up what you want to get from it and what possible outcomes there would be. London is a cool city, but just like anywhere else it always looks ideal from an outsiders perspective - it rains a lot, the people are (sometimes but not always) insufferably boring, it costs a lot to "do" anything (cinema tickets are about £12 each) and the weather....oh boy, the weather!

I used to love London, but after working and visiting there a lot the "shininess" of it all has slightly worn off, and it's the same as any other boring city!
 
Last edited:
2

2322

Guest
Those American laws will change in time. States which recognize gay marriage currently give recognition to those same sex couples married outside the US. The federal government is going to happen fairly quickly. There is one "perfect case" making its way up the courts involving a Massachusetts couple and that may be the case to change the laws on federal recognition if Congress doesn't get to it first.

Sorry to hear about the difficulty in marrying abroad however someone who is gainfully employed in a professional job shouldn't be too much of an issue, I imagine.

Even then, had I the opportunity to do that when I was 29, I may not have done it but looking back now and considering things I wish I'd done, I realize that all the reticence was just my own fears winning out over reality. So many things we fear or cling to just aren't real in the end and don't serve us in healthy ways.
 

yhtang

Superior Member
Joined
Apr 10, 2006
Posts
2,433
Media
32
Likes
3,181
Points
343
Location
Malaysia
Sexuality
No Response
Gender
Male
That is quite a difference in pay given how bloody expensive London is.

This is something you might wish to note when you try to decide on a job in a foreign land/place. It is never the income that is the basis of your comparison, it is the net savings - after tax, cost of living etc.

Another thing is this - what would you do at the end of the contract? If you are used to the lifestyle of London, you might be hesitant to return to your place of origin. This could, perhaps, mean seeking another job in London, or at the very least, looking for another job in another city.

You would then need to consider your age and experience etc. when applying for the new job in the new place, because your potential employer would probably do so.
 

D_Jared Padalicki

Account Disabled
Joined
Mar 8, 2008
Posts
7,709
Media
0
Likes
165
Points
133
I have turned a job down last summer. It was a great offer, well payed, but I had other priorities in mind. So I turned it down and I don't regret it.

Just follow your principals and priorities most of the time.
 

clear

Just Browsing
Joined
Oct 18, 2006
Posts
94
Media
4
Likes
0
Points
226
Location
Los Angeles, CA, USA
Sexuality
99% Gay, 1% Straight
Gender
Male
Wow!...

Thanks everyone for all the insightful comments. I really appreciate them.

Over all, my biggest reason for wanting to go with the thrid company, is because by working there, I would regain a lot of free/personal time. At the two companies in London, I would be basically doing what I am doing right now- concerning workload and hours and such -just overseas. However, that overseas part is really something to think about; for both good and bad reasons. I mean, it is Europe after all, and so much to see and do there.

Nevertheless, I am at a point in my life where I have a lot of interesting and exciting ventures going on, that I would Love to see through to their ends. By going to London, I will have to abandon most of those for some time (if not entirely). Not to mention all my friends and family are here in the states. Every single one of them does not want me to go to London...lol (and they each have their own reasons why). My thing is, if nothing pans out here for me, I will have no choice really.

Concerning relocation and such. One company offered £1,000 pounds upfront, and help looking for room and board, but thats it. The other said they would cover between £3,500 - £7,000 pounds (plus help finding room and board), but only after I have worked for them for two weeks (which means I would be paying for my on relocation upfront, and then they would be paying me back for those cost).

Concerning pay and all, the cool thing about my field is that everything is negotiable most times (irregardless of pay history). Actually, pay history only becomes a factor or issue when applying for one of the large- or rather "corporate" -studios. The smaller shops could care less. Case in point, a few years ago, I was able to increase my yearly salary by $20K in the span of ten months (all from negotiations, and renegotiations). Add to this the fact that I am usually contracted per-show, it is very easy to raise my hourly or day rates by five bucks more an hour here or by $50 more a day there- based on how good I performed during the last spot, or how big the budget is for the production. Oh, and none of the salary quotes I gave for the London companies (nor the supposed rate for the third one) factor in overtime pay. That is where I can really make a lot of money.

Alas, what I want more of is free time to do my own projects and stuff. Money will come and go as far as I know and have experienced. But a good quality of life is something hard to come by. Yeah, I could make such and such and live over there, but look at how many hours I would have to work to get that amount (not to mention the stress). But over here, I make an ok amount, but look at all the free time I get to travel/work on my own stuff, or sit at home on a Friday night and do absolutely nothing at all because I can, lol.

At the end of the day, I do realize I am blessed, and am awarded opportunities many would kill for. Likewise, I know how far- and through what -in life I had to endure and overcome to be in this place (which I am soooooooooo grateful for). So in the end, I know I will be fine. It just sucks a little because, we as individuals want to do what is best for us, but often times, we may never know what that is until after the fact. For me right now, holding onto the one commodity I can never get back, is why I think holding out for the third company is worth it.

Thanks again everyone for all your input. I will take it all in stride and consider it when making my final determination.

Most Respectfully,

T.D.

Ciao-:cool:
 

whatireallywant

Sexy Member
Joined
Jun 4, 2007
Posts
3,535
Media
0
Likes
31
Points
183
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Female
Wish I had a real job offer; just one.

I know that feeling! All I've had has been temp jobs for over two years now. I have experience at a lot of different things, but my experience level and/or skill level is not high enough at any ONE thing to get a decent job at anything! And I'm about to get training in yet another skill, wonder if that one will be useful later on? Could be... I've seen jobs call for it and sometimes I've qualified for the job except for that one thing...It's away from my field that I'm trying to get back into, though.

London, hmmm? Yes, I'd take a job in London if it paid well enough (from what I hear about the cost of living there). There isn't TOO much of a language barrier there! (except maybe for some of the slang :biggrin1:) In my field they'd probably relocate me to Mumbai if they were going to relocate me anywhere. There is somewhat of a language barrier there. I think most people there do speak English, but heavily accented English and I've had trouble with having technical interviews with Indian employers, understanding what they are saying when they asked me questions. There would be a bit more culture shock moving there than to the UK, too.

Of course, if I was offered a job in Australia (particularly Sydney or Melbourne), I'd be on the plane tomorrow! :biggrin1:
 

Gl3nn

Experimental Member
Joined
Jul 24, 2008
Posts
1,411
Media
0
Likes
13
Points
123
Location
Somewhere in the universe
Sexuality
90% Gay, 10% Straight
Gender
Male
Just go for the company you want. If that means you have to say 'no' to the other companies and wait for the third one, then do so. If it would happen that the third company isn't going to hire you, then bad luck for this time. You'll get other chances. There will be other companies who you want to work for and that will hire you.
 

mako shark

Superior Member
Joined
May 8, 2009
Posts
4,277
Media
2
Likes
2,759
Points
358
Sexuality
99% Straight, 1% Gay
Gender
Male
I get job offers pretty frequently and don't ever really turn them down. I usually say that "I will consider it" and don't respond back. You never want to close any doors, I just haven't found one that is better than my current one.