how many sexual partners to alot?

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by splatter00, Jul 13, 2010.

  1. splatter00

    splatter00 Active Member

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    Ok ladies im here to ask some advice. Just got out of a long relationship and only have had two sexual partners my whole life. I seeing someone at the moment, shes an amazing girl but just found out the # of guys shes been with and it bugs me a bit. I know the past is the past, but since i have a semi-biased opinion based on my past experiences, i wanna know what the average # of partners you women have been with, and what you would consider alot. For the record, i am the 14th person she has been with.. all except me and her ex were one time things that never went past 5 mins bc she wasnt comfortable.. For some reason i have an issue with it, and dont wanna loose an amazing girl bc of my issue..

    thanks ladies
     
  2. D_Sparroe Spongecaques

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    What does it matter? Why do you have a semi-biased opinion based on your past experiences? They are not forced to be the same as her experiences.....
     
  3. HiddenLacey

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    I have had two partners at this point in my life, I'm 29. I do not think she has had that many partners. I know several women who have had more than that. Think about it if the situation were reversed?

    I think it would bother me is if we started talking about a huge number, like 30-40-50.

    Since we are all different we are all going to have different pasts. IMO this sentence "all except me and her ex were one time things that never went past 5 mins bc she wasnt comfortable," should tell you that you are special to her and you mean something more. That should make you feel good :)

    You have to remember people that have been in LTR's may have less partners than people who are not in committed relantionships.
     
    #3 HiddenLacey, Jul 13, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 13, 2010
  4. B_subgirrl

    B_subgirrl New Member

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    I'd had sex with 27 guys by the time I was 21. For me there is no number that counts as 'a lot', because for me the number really means nothing. What matters to me is the way the person behaved in those relationships and whether they treated their partners with respect. If they did, I don't give a shit what the number is.
     
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  5. splatter00

    splatter00 Active Member

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    it matters bc to me, 3 is alot.. but i just got out of an 8 year relationship and im 24, so 14 seems like a ton.. yet shes been single and i havent been.. im just wondering what the average is, and if it seems like alot. but then again, idk bc i havent been single really and never have had a hookup or slept with someone im not in a relationship with.. idk, just figured id ask for some womens opinions.

    thanks
     
  6. splatter00

    splatter00 Active Member

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    thanks, ya it does.. but i sometimes get upset, and try not to let her know why bc she isnt proud of her past, and i dont wanna make her feel worse than she already does.
     
  7. HiddenLacey

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    Well if you love her, just try to love her for who she is not just her past. I can understand being uncomfortable, I have had this discussion on here before.

    I'm not sure how many partners would bother me, but the fact is a very large number would. I'm not perfect. We all have things that are outside of our comfort zones.

    As I said, I know women that have had more. It doesn't make her a bad person. Try to just concentrate on your relantionship with her and the fact that you are obviously special and unique for her to want a relantionship with you:wink:
     
  8. DasLeezard

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    I think being in the army from 18-24 put me comfortably into the "Going to hell" category.
     
  9. KTF40

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    So wait, she has had 12 one night stands that only lasted around 5 minutes each? I'd be way more worried about that. If she can't even tell after fucking the first 3 guys that she isn't comfortable having one night stands, why did she continue to do that 9 more times?

    And if she is around your age (24), I'd assume 14 is average. I'd assume a ton of girls around that age are well into double digits at that point in their life.
     
  10. Aquila75

    Aquila75 New Member

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    Also factor in, what age did she start having sex? Starting at 14 leaves a lot more time to meet partners then starting at say 19. But overall 14 isn't much. I would be most concerned with how strict she was about practicing safe sex with her partners. I think that tells you more.
     
  11. B_Jules7

    B_Jules7 New Member

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    my problem is that I have had 26 so it would be hypocritical to have a problem with a girl having around the same or less. I don't think the number matters.. but if she was a"slut" and got drunk and slept with anything with a pulse on one night stands it starts to get dodgy from a psychological and hygene perspective. On the other hand if she is a confident and attractive women who enjoys sex, I have no problem with her exploiting that.
     
  12. petite

    petite New Member

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    I wouldn't worry about how many sexual partners she's had. Sexual compatibility and compatibility of personalities and character and lifestyle are all much more important. Of all the things that must go right in order for a relationship to really work and for two people to be really happy together, rejecting a woman because of her sexual history is foolish. It may end up being an asset to your relationship, but you'll never know one way or another if you're slut-shaming her because you've just left a 8 year relationship that you began when you're 16.
     
  13. D_Sparroe Spongecaques

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    3 is nothing and apart from submissivegirl i have never EVER heard of any female over the age of 20 say they have had sex with such a low number.

    There isnt an average as we are so very different eg:ages,relationshipwise etc etc
     
  14. HiddenLacey

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    Your absolutely correct I have been single once since the age of 20 and that was for about 6 mths. So 2 LTR's in 9 years, I might would have had more if I had stayed single.
     
  15. ManlyBanisters

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    The average means precisely fuck all.

    This woman has had 14 partners - the number of partners anyone here has had does change or have any bearing on her experiences.

    If you are too immature to deal with that then don't date her.
     
  16. splatter00

    splatter00 Active Member

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    none were one night stands according to her. She said it was atleast a month of seeing eachother before anything happened, but sex was just pushed on her.

    its not a lack of maturity, its a lack of understanding how the single life works, but thank you for your input
     
  17. B_crackoff

    B_crackoff New Member

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    You know the general rule when a woman gives her number. Multiply by 3 & add 1 (that's you!).
     
  18. nohidingstyle

    nohidingstyle New Member

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    i believe i read somewhere that the statistical average number of sexual partners for adults within their lifetime is 8... including those who have not reached their end-of-lifetime or are near that (an important inclusion). basically if you average everyone who is near their end of life it'd be a much higher number.... much.
     
  19. Tickled Pink

    Tickled Pink New Member

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    No idea! LOL!
     
  20. AlteredEgo

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    I had more than 14 partners when I met my husband. He has only ever been with me. I wish he'd had more experience, to be honest. On the other hand, he did not come with a bunch of pre-programed routines that do not suit me. We have a great time. He's thrilled that I know so much about my own pleasure, which really helps. I wouldn't have this knowledge without the bulk of my past experience. If your girl is knowledgeable, and you can have fun together, and if her experience was gained responsibly, what difference should it make to you?
     
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