how many sexual partners to alot?

[HazelGod]

I seeing someone at the moment, shes an amazing girl but just found out the # of guys shes been with and it bugs me a bit.

She's fucking you right now, so what does it matter? Grow a pair and get over it before you fuck up the relationship that's working.

 

[Pendlum]

Chances are the guys who are also bugged by the same thing you are, are going to woman haters, just saying.

I have every confidence that if you keep this attitude, you will fuck things up. I hope you're mature enough to realize when that happens it wasn't her fault. I'm not holding my breath though.

 

[Drifterwood]

I think the issue can be a little more complicated than some are giving credit.

Are you one in a long line, or are you the "special one"? Are they even looking for the special one? This works both ways. Is the special one for ever, or just another phase? These are reasonable questions if you are looking for something serious.

There is something of a presumtion that everyone is monogamous or is really seeking monogamy. You may think that someone's past will show their likely future. But again this really isn't necessarily the case.

If it's just a jealousy thing, or a moral judgment, then get over it as people are saying.

 

[ManlyBanisters]

Drifter - how is knowing how many men other women have slept with going to answer any of those questions about special vs just another fuck?

The OP is only interested in numbers.

Yes, the questions are reasonable but numbers have nothing to do with whether the current partner is the special one or not. Especially not comparing her numbers to other people's numbers.

 

[Drifterwood]

Drifter - how is knowing how many men other women have slept with going to answer any of those questions about special vs just another fuck?

The OP is only interested in numbers.

Yes, the questions are reasonable but numbers have nothing to do with whether the current partner is the special one or not. Especially not comparing her numbers to other people's numbers.

I didn't say that the numbers would, rather that it is not unreasonable to consider them. I have been reading about the varying fluidity of female and male sexuality, and I think that this could be better discussed in another thread. I'll get round to it later.

PS - the numbers work both ways.

 

[B_subgirrl]

I think the issue can be a little more complicated than some are giving credit.

Are you one in a long line, or are you the "special one"? Are they even looking for the special one? This works both ways. Is the special one for ever, or just another phase? These are reasonable questions if you are looking for something serious.

There is something of a presumtion that everyone is monogamous or is really seeking monogamy. You may think that someone's past will show their likely future. But again this really isn't necessarily the case.

If it's just a jealousy thing, or a moral judgment, then get over it as people are saying.

But this is covered by my point - that the number doesn't matter, it's how she treated them (and if she had safe sex) that counts. If she is respectful and honest in all relationships, each person will know from the start what she's in it for - just a fuck or a possible LTR. I don't believe in the special ONE. The special ONE is just the last LTR you end up in - ie. the one that works.

 

[AussieMuscles]

wow she gad 15 guys??? shes a big slut! give me her address!

 

[HazelGod]

wow she gad 15 guys??? shes a big slut! give me her address!

That's one hell of a 69th post...I like this guy already. :biggrin1:

 

[Incocknito]

14 partners is about average for what I assume is an attractive girl aged 24-28.

I wouldn't say that any number was necessarily a lot or made her a slut. Except something in the hundreds or thousands but that's unrealistic for most women; who aren't prostitutes.

I think the issue is that the OP is jealous and feels a bit emasculated because he has only had two sexual partners whereas his 'ladyfriend' has had almost ten times more.

 

[Gecko4lif]

I'd had sex with 27 guys by the time I was 21. For me there is no number that counts as 'a lot', because for me the number really means nothing. What matters to me is the way the person behaved in those relationships and whether they treated their partners with respect. If they did, I don't give a shit what the number is.

Wow. Thats kinda impressive.

 

[B_subgirrl]

Wow. Thats kinda impressive.

Good impressive or bad impressive? Actually, don't answer that :smile:.

There were a few things that accounted for my numbers.

1) I started having sex when I was 16 - the legal age here but younger than the age many of my peers began at.

2) I've always had a high sex drive, so even when I wasn't in a LTR I wanted sex, unlike many young women.

3) I've never associated sex with love. This means I feel no need to be in a relationship to have sex.

 

[ManlyBanisters]

so even when I wasn't in a LTR I wanted sex, unlike many young women.

*sigh*

It's bad enough when men do it but it's just plain depressing when women perpetuate these stupid myths.

Most young women want sex - they are just conditioned to feel bad about that and not act on it.

 

[HiddenLacey]

*sigh*

It's bad enough when men do it but it's just plain depressing when women perpetuate these stupid myths.

Most young women want sex - they are just conditioned to feel bad about that and not act on it.

I agree with MB, I always want sex. I wanted sex as soon as I understood enough to want it.

I did however deny myself due to religious background when I was younger. Now I realize there is nothing wrong with having sex with someone if you choose to. At this point I'm still only interested in sex with someone I love, but that doesn't mean at some point I will not expand my horizons.

 

[thetramp]

*sigh*

It's bad enough when men do it but it's just plain depressing when women perpetuate these stupid myths.

Most young women want sex - they are just conditioned to feel bad about that and not act on it.

Got to agree there. The conditioning to the dirtiness and badness of sex makes women feel guilty about desire for it. It also is related to the discussion we had about why insults for women mostly are of sexual kind.

But wanting sex, and the criteria of with who to have it and under what circumstances are not very related. I believe every healthy women wants sex some more than others, younger more than older as it is the human nature to strive for propagation, and for evolutions sake the desire is then the biggest when the chances for that are the highest, the hormone activity of young women causes a desire for sex in every healthy women, the hormones don't care that much about relationships.
That doesn't mean tho that the mind does not care, and has it's own rules on how and under which circumstances to give in to the desire.
Many of those rules are conditioned, a result of the processes of socialization, some are the result of personal experience.
That a girl did not want to have a random hookup doesn't mean she didn't want sex.

 

[maestro071]

It is never too much!
For a girl - well, if she had more than Samantha Jones, then that's a lot!
Bottom line of " a lot" for both gender - u can't name them all, and even u can't count them...

 

[Gecko4lif]

I've never associated sex with love. This means I feel no need to be in a relationship to have sex.

Atta girl :wink:

so what a you doing later? *flexes*

 

[B_subgirrl]

*sigh*

It's bad enough when men do it but it's just plain depressing when women perpetuate these stupid myths.

Most young women want sex - they are just conditioned to feel bad about that and not act on it.

I can only base my idea of what they want by what they tell me. When I was a young-un most other women were telling me that they weren't that interested in sex and that their sex drives were much lower than mine. I agree with the conditioning thing, but I think a lot them manage to convince THEMSELVES that they don't want it.

 

[B_subgirrl]

Atta girl :wink:

so what a you doing later? *flexes*

:biggrin1:

 

[ManlyBanisters]

I can only base my idea of what they want by what they tell me. When I was young-un most other women were telling me that they weren't that interested in sex and that their sex drives were much lower than mine. I agree with the conditioning thing, but I think a lot them manage to convince THEMSELVES that they don't want it.

OK, so when you said:

I wanted sex, unlike many young women.

you actually meant:

I wanted sex, unlike many young women that I knew, who reported not wanting sex.

That's really a very different thing.

 

[B_subgirrl]

I did indeed. And you're right - not the same thing. I must learn to be more specific with you around :smile: