Getting over past a broken heart...cliches are true, time heals wounds...but we never know the time, two weeks or two years? We grieve, worry, ponder, grow, adjust values, and more to survive. For me it is common to compare, contrast the cast of characters, one breakup can remind of past experiences of another, hopefully something is learned and can be applied to the next relationship if so lucky.
Over 30 year period; I have had 5 significant relationships:
1. Lived together barely for a year; no love lost, remained friends for 10 years there after, lost contact over past 20. I was too young.
2. A missed opportunity; a long distance relationship that I did not give enough serious consideration of to take to the next level. Remained good friends; devastated upon learning of their unexpected death. To this day I still ponder "what if" ..I think fondly of them often.
3. A 10 year marriage, house, cars, combined finances, no kids. A solid relationship of growth sharing & supporting. Grew apart due to resentments that I or we did not know the tools to resolve. Remained friends of frequent contact for over 15 years post divorce yet today I really have no reason to call, chat, text at this juncture....I'm content with current status & we know how to contact each other if needed.
4. Sex, drugs, and Rock & Role for an18 month rollercoaster ride of much laughable big fun in a very unhealthy environment. I was both relieved & devastated as that relationship ended. Dysfunctional. That was 15 years ago. We visited for a weekend 2 years ago to which I recieved much closure. I saw no growth on their part from prior times. While I was very obsessed post breakup, I am so content & resolved today. No initiated contact needed on my part. They are welcome to reach out if desired. It is all civil.
5. A short term relationship of 5 months. Very unresolved outcome. It has been three years; I am still grieving this loss / break up that I initiated. It was intense, intimate companionship with thought provoking spirited conversations on so many levels. I am still learning about myself from this relationship. Recognizing my patterns, identifying what I need, what was my role in what went well & what I could have done better. This one will haunt my broken heart for years to come; I have reconciled that it will until the day I die. "It takes only two minutes to say hello and a lifetime to say goodbye"
