how much relationship baggage do/did you have?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by D_Maurice Mountlilly, Oct 20, 2009.

  1. D_Maurice Mountlilly

    D_Maurice Mountlilly Account Disabled

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    i'll be the first to come clean..i've got enough to fill 20 airports...when it comes to relationships damn! the stories i could tell..
    i mean they were like trash tv stuff...and unkowingly i've developed bad relationship habits(sleeping with married women,not being able to trust women in relationships,lying to get sex from women, ect.)
    anyone else go through or gone through this type of stuff?
    and if so how did you get over it?
    how long did it take?
     
  2. Countryguy63

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    I can't remember which thread, but I kind of referred to this somewhere else here.

    Always, since I can remember have had a ssa. Hid it and fought it for years believing not only that it was wrong, but that if anyone ever found out, especially a woman, I'd never be accepted and have the family life that I so desired.

    My marriage lasted 12 years, never let her know. Never acted on it, nor gave any hint whatsoever. When she started leaving me periodically and having affairs, found myself looking at man sites on the net. When we divorced, she found the history looking for dirt on the computer, and used a megahorn to announce it to everyone we knew, my family included.

    Just ended a 3 yr ltr with a woman about 6 mos ago. She ended up doing some really hurtful things also.

    My baggage is heavy.
    Don't trust women anymore. Not even sure if I want to ever try again with them.
    Exploring the guys now.
    My baggage with the guys? Don't know if I've lost the desire for a life with a woman and actually want a life with a man (that's how I feel now), or if I just don't trust enough to try.

    Yay to be me, huh?
     
  3. Rugbypup

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    Think we all have baggage don't we?

    I'm not sure you can live life and not acquire a few extra lbs of emotion packaging.
     
  4. Rugbypup

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    Where is she? I've got a seriously nasty pup bite to dish out!
     
  5. D_Relentless Original

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    Agree Pup, i had a bad relationship a few years ago, i carried the baggage for a few years,however;looking back i learnt hell of a lot from it and also after the pain and emotions have gone the strength you can draw from it is excellent.
     
  6. Countryguy63

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    Aww, you'd bite, for me??? Nobody's ever done something that sweet :wink:

    ok, getting a bit personal here, but seriously after what she has put me through (remember, I've been "officially divorced for 5 yrs now:rolleyes:), since she gave up on forcing me out of the house, she's, I'm not shitting you, at her lawyers drawing up papers to get my 403b acct. :cool:

    Ya just have to laugh sometimes, cause everything else is dried up.

    *I'll take one of those luggage racks, please. Oh, and better throw in a roof rack too*
     
  7. D_Relentless Original

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    Hey CG, no disrespect but relationships with guy's ain't much different, they can take you to the cleaners too, i honestly believe that people don't really know anyone deep down until the relationship breaks down then the true colours come out.
    btw, get cooking :tongue:
     
  8. zombyalive

    zombyalive Member

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    not sure what you mean by baggage, but...

    looking back, i'd say i had a lot. but in the course of maybe 4 or 5 years i grew up. and whatever is left, i don't unpack on my partners.

    though there are some things that still interfere with my relationships, and that usually regards my sexually history. when a partner asks about past experiences, i notice that it's usually followed by insecurities... i try not to talk about my past, i've had a pretty wild ride.
     
  9. Countryguy63

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    You'd better be on your laptop on a plane right now. Grills fired up!:wink:
     
  10. dolfette

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    me? baggage? never!
     
  11. Cougar

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    I got lucky.

    Most of my stuff happened so very long ago and it is all but forgotten. Now I know how to pick cool people to be in my life and get the heck away from the rest or the dysfunctional idiots.

    I think most of us are responsible for the pain we bring upon ourselves with our bad choices or lack of education in how to make healthy choices.
     
  12. D_Hyacinth Harrytwat

    D_Hyacinth Harrytwat Account Disabled

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    :eek: This is horrifying to read! I found myself with a similar mentality (although opposite gender) and it lasted so long that I planned my life around being single because I hated men and I wasn't attracted to women. It did clear up, but I had obvious signals that I wasn't into women - if you haven't had those signals yet about men, then why the heck not have some fun? It doesn't sound purely out of desperation!
     
  13. Countryguy63

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    a bit of an explaination.. I put my percentages at 60/40, because I like both the same visually and physically, but have always had the emotional connection with women. Now, I DON'T want it. Or at least I don't want to go through what seems to be the inevitable.
     
  14. Principessa

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    I like to think I have one of those cute little hard side cosmetic cases with the mirror inside the lid. I've not had a lot of relationships and they were a long time ago so there isn't much left for me to carry. Ideally my partner wouldn't have more than an overnight or weekend bag. I realize that as I mature I am more likely to encounter men with lots of baggage but I expect them to be able to handle it themselves. I don't want a man with a steamer trunk and then some of relationship baggage.
     
  15. Symphonic

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    I have none. I am too lazy to carry it.
     
  16. NOINRI

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    I have absolutely no relationship baggage because I've never been in one.
     
  17. Surfer12

    Surfer12 New Member

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    Respectively I think this comment is just dead wrong! I've had some bad experiences, some caused by me, but I never cheated on a girlfriend, I did lead some on and play some mind games, but I had the same done to me, and women can be harsh with this, at least here in the USA. Seems like guys tend to use women for sex, and women use men for a shoulder to lean on, and some women use men for sex as well, just not as often! But anyway, people change over time, and what was a good choice in the beginning, grows into a bad one, and someone you don't even know cause they changed so much!

    Surfer
     
  18. D_Ivana Dickenside

    D_Ivana Dickenside New Member

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    i used to have a lot of hang-ups about men, especially cheating men, and it was why i refused to commit to anyone. i always thought my parents had a picture-pefect marriage... until my dad cheated on my mom. then shortly after my bf at the time cheated on me four months later. both of those experiences shattered my world and it was the reason why i no longer wanted to share my life to someone else, especially another man.

    then one year ago, i met someone who changed all of that. i learned to let go of how i used to feel towards men, and he showed me that i was capable of loving again. i got a second chance, and taking that chance was the best decision i ever made.
     
  19. dolfette

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    silly you!
    in a relationship the other poor mug carries it for you.
     
  20. B_theOtherJJ

    B_theOtherJJ New Member

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    I was partnered for 22 years, so I guess quite a bit. Yet I have no intention of bringing any baggage on my next "trip"... clean slate
     
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