How Often Do You Have Sex With Your Spouse?

texan117

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How many years have you been together?
How many times do you have sex a week?
If it is high, any tips for how to keep it high / If it's low, why do you think it is?

We are M/F, have been together for 15 years, and have sex about once a week. Unfortunately, my wife isn't very sexually confident so while she has fun when we are in the moment, she doesn't like to think about sex nor does she take kindly to any compliments about her because the way I see her just doesn't align with how she sees herself.

Part of why I am starting this thread is to see if couples who have been together for this long are in the same sexual rut or have figured out a way out of it
 

AussieScooter

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Damn I am envious of your once a week.
We had sex last week for the first time since Oct 2020. And she just lay there, told me to hurry and asked if my penis will shrink in old age cause it’s too big. Fuck me...
 

Scouse_sean

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Damn I am envious of your once a week.
We had sex last week for the first time since Oct 2020. And she just lay there, told me to hurry and asked if my penis will shrink in old age cause it’s too big. Fuck me...
This sounds more familiar…
 
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CapAmerica

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M/M, M/F, F/F?
How many years have you been together?
How many times do you have sex a week?
If it is high, any tips for how to keep it high / If it's low, why do you think it is?

We are M/F, have been together for 15 years, and have sex about once a week. Unfortunately, my wife isn't very sexually confident so while she has fun when we are in the moment, she doesn't like to think about sex nor does she take kindly to any compliments about her because the way I see her just doesn't align with how she sees herself.

Part of why I am starting this thread is to see if couples who have been together for this long are in the same sexual rut or have figured out a way out of it
We’ve been married for almost 22 years and it’s been 5 years since we had sex. Prior to that it was about twice a month after our last child was born. In the middle years it was once a week and the first few years of marriage it was probably every other day. I can say when we made love, she was totally enjoying it, multiple orgasms, soaking wet pussy, flushed skin, moaning, shaking…all of which made me feel like we were physically contented.

Your story sounds similar, no interest now, won’t talk about it. She blames menopause ( which started early for her when she was 44, I was 53 then) and a variety of other issues with anxiety and chronic pain. I still find her sexy, comment on her looks, smile, things she does around the house and parenting. I’ve bought new toys in the past year to see if it would spark her interest…zero, they are still in the box. She seems content in her ways now and I’m figuring out how to cope.
 

AussieScooter

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We’ve been married for almost 22 years and it’s been 5 years since we had sex. Prior to that it was about twice a month after our last child was born. In the middle years it was once a week and the first few years of marriage it was probably every other day. I can say when we made love, she was totally enjoying it, multiple orgasms, soaking wet pussy, flushed skin, moaning, shaking…all of which made me feel like we were physically contented.

Your story sounds similar, no interest now, won’t talk about it. She blames menopause ( which started early for her when she was 44, I was 53 then) and a variety of other issues with anxiety and chronic pain. I still find her sexy, comment on her looks, smile, things she does around the house and parenting. I’ve bought new toys in the past year to see if it would spark her interest…zero, they are still in the box. She seems content in her ways now and I’m figuring out how to cope.
Damn man - this is me all over. Have you had to utilise other people to help you cope? I haven’t but gee it’d be difficult to say no if the option arose.
 

MuscledHorse

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We are both guys and have sex at least once a week. Plus we play with other guys, together or separately. We regard sex as a natural primal male instinct and treat it as the pleasure sport among males that it is--so a great relationship with no jealousy of the Other defining it. been together 2 years.
 

marriedasian

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my wife gives me a blowjob everyday. to be fair, it's not about me, it's about her. she just likes to suck dick and i'm the closest dick to her that she trusts. we fuck everyday. yes, we literally do, as many times as i want or she wants.

it's not always a perfect fuck though. let me explain; early on in our relationship and going into our marriage, we strongly agreed with each other that sex would never be denied to either party NO MATTER WHAT. the only exception was if we were in a hospital bed but even then handjobs and fingering was not out of the question. this may sound fucked up to some of you because of your ethical morals and such but it has been the basis of our sexual relationship and has held us together for well over decades and we're still going strong. i can't tell you how many times she wanted to fuck and i didn't but allowed her to get me hard and ride me to her orgasm while i am literally typing on the computer and talking dirty shit into her ear. there have been times when i will stay up late, she goes to bed and falls asleep, i come to bed later horny and hard, and literally spoon her as i slide inside her while she half-wakes-up. she is certainly surprised by it but i get zero resistance. most times, she just spoons me back and squeezes my arm while she takes me. angry sex is also fun too... i still remember the first time she said to me right before bed "i'm still very mad at you but we're gonna fuck".

i've always been a firm believer that sex is not what makes a relationship but it is the thermometer of a relationship. if the quality and quantity of sex in a relationship is not met by both partners then the relationship is doomed to have one or both partners suffer in silence or become the sacrificial lamb of the relationship. i believed this so much that it was a requirement to date me or have a relationship with me. yea, many women thought i was a total inconsiderate, misogynistic asshole for that but it worked. i found her, she found me, and we've never looked back since.

the point is, if you're not having as much sex as you want then more than likely it's because you allowed it to happen along the way or accepted that reality at some point in your relationship and tolerated it. unless it was a life even where your partner got incapacitated in some way, more than likely it was because you allowed it or turned a blind eye to the red flags hoping things will just get better on their own.
 
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NorthBear306

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I was actually going to create a post (still might) about guys feeling guilty about cheating if they're in a sexless relationship.
Some of these situations are awful. Sex a few times a year and it's the most boring unfulfilling sex also.
I don't understand what people think when they no longer want to have sex with their partner...is their partner just supposed to lose all sexual desires as well?
 

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I was actually going to create a post (still might) about guys feeling guilty about cheating if they're in a sexless relationship.
Some of these situations are awful. Sex a few times a year and it's the most boring unfulfilling sex also.
I don't understand what people think when they no longer want to have sex with their partner...is their partner just supposed to lose all sexual desires as well?

My wife lost all interest in sex after menopause, and to be honest, we hadn't had it a whole lot before that. But after this point, she admitted after I returned from a business trip to Europe that she'd met an old boyfriend at a hotel and fucked. Something snapped. I now fuck hot young bottom men, love making them feel good, and get the fun I need and feel very little guilt.
 

NorthBear306

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My wife lost all interest in sex after menopause, and to be honest, we hadn't had it a whole lot before that. But after this point, she admitted after I returned from a business trip to Europe that she'd met an old boyfriend at a hotel and fucked. Something snapped. I now fuck hot young bottom men, love making them feel good, and get the fun I need and feel very little guilt.
Good for you. Enjoy your life.
Are you still together?
 
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WadWorshipper

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Good for you. Enjoy your life.
Are you still together?

Yes! It may seem odd, but we have a great marriage otherwise. We are good companions and we get along well and never fight. Just sexless. So I get that elsewhere, and it keeps me happy.
 

NorthBear306

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Yes! It may seem odd, but we have a great marriage otherwise. We are good companions and we get along well and never fight. Just sexless. So I get that elsewhere, and it keeps me happy.

That's awesome. What got you 'try' men or had you been with a guy before the marriage?
 

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M/F here been married 21 years. We have sex with each other two to three times a week. More with other partners if we go to a lifestyle party. This amount seems to work best for both of us. Luckily menopause didn't kill her sex drive. She actually increased some as she was going through it then it leveled off and came down slightly.
 
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WadWorshipper

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That's awesome. What got you 'try' men or had you been with a guy before the marriage?

I had always had an admiration of young men, but had done nothing with guys before marriage. Then later, on business trips, I sought out gay bars that had dancing gogo boys that you could grope a bit and touch for a dollar bill slid into their little underwear. That satisfied me for years. Until one of them took a liking to me and asked to follow me back to my hotel room. The hottest sex of my life.....my eyes were opened. I discovered that I LOVE making a young guy feel good...it's intoxicating. That was scores of young men ago....
 

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Been together 21 years, have sex about 3X's a week. Would be more but we are super busy. It's awesome and still feels like the first time. I do miss having spontaneous sex, as we have to schedule our sexual sessions.
Over the years I have introduced her to many sex toys, dildos, bullet vibrators, Sybian, Interracial Black cock threesome fantasies, Interracial Porn while we fuck, pegging and dressing up fantasies. We buy thos fake Queen of Spades BBC tattoos and go out of town as she wears one on her breast or ankle. I tell her to look for guys when she goes out and she has to tell me the hottest guy she saw, and the things she'd like to do with him. I ask her if she thought he had a big cock, was he black. It doesn't take long before we find ourselves fucking.