How Often Do You Say "i Love You"?

Tight_N_Juicy

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We've been together for years. We've lived together for over 5. I've known him all my life. There's always been so much love, but we never started saying the words until recent weeks.

Before tragedy, we only said it once or twice a year. Now we're telling each other everyday.

I always knew, but never needed him to tell me. I still don't... But hearing it actually does make my heart flutter.

He still gives me butterflies in my tummy. Everything that's happened, over all these years... Wow.

How often do you tell your partner that you love them?
 
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Many times a day. Every single day.

He is about the only person on the planet that I don't feel like I'm lying if I were to say it, so I avoid saying it to anyone but him. I care deeply for my friends. I will avenge and fuck a person up for them. I wish them happiness and good things in life. I will have their back as much as I can. My legal family, I feel a sense of obligation and that I ought to maintain ties. I hope for their lives to be good, too. I like some of them and am apathetic about most of them, so I try to not be put in a position to where I would have to lie.

Rem, I say I love you often and I mean it every time. He says it an equal amount. When we kiss before he goes to work. When we kiss when he gets home from work. When we kiss before sleeping. At random times through out the day, often accompanied by smooches.
 
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I don't see how in any conceivable way my saying "I love you" to my sweetie more often would dilute it any. Any of y'all, you do you, but I don't get it.

Saying it often doesn't mean I don't consistently do things to show that love too :p I do. Every day.
 
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Tight_N_Juicy

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Saw this thread and had to reply. I love you is tossed around so easily! Doesnt it dilute its value? I'm "loved" sooo much everyday but I dont like to reply; I prefer to show my love physically so that my "I love you" holds its worth.

Maybe it makes the word less meaningful for YOU the more it's used.

I really don't think you get the fucking point.
 

theaveragedude

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Every. Single. Day. In the morning before I go to work it’s the last thing I say when I walk out the door. when I get home and dinner is waiting for me, Its the first thing I say before eating. Many times in between. It doesn’t dilute the meaning at all.
 

Unk Papi

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Maybe it makes the word less meaningful for YOU the more it's used.

I really don't think you get the fucking point.
I read the posts first and i dont understand the tone. Did you post for people to agree with you or to read and maybe understand others perspectives? Is this aggression coming from the fact that you needed a tragedy to show your bf love?

What I wrote before wasnt meant to offend and its something tha truly bothers me. I dont know what part of the US youre in but in NYC everyone loves you and its like just blabbed on the third date.

Do you know what open communication is? My bf and i do. He is very understanding and also felt that love you has lost its value. I dont feel the need to say it.

The funniest thing is i hate saying i love you but i say it more than twice a year.
 
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Tight_N_Juicy

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I read the posts first and i dont understand the tone. Did you post for people to agree with you or to read and maybe understand others perspectives? Is this aggression coming from the fact that you needed a tragedy to show your bf love?

What I wrote before wasnt meant to offend and its something tha truly bothers me. I dont know what part of the US youre in but in NYC everyone loves you and its like just blabbed on the third date.

Do you know what open communication is? My bf and i do. He is very understanding and also felt that love you has lost its value. I dont feel the need to say it.

The funniest thing is i hate saying i love you but i say it more than twice a year.

I'm going to apologize off the bat, I'm being reactive again because I'm still mourning.

I realize I can't control how people respond, I just wanted to hear lovey dovey stuffs to help make my heart feel better.

I take your reply and respect it.
 

marriedasian

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not as much anymore. i actually asked my wife about this before this reply and she and i both agree that it's not as important anymore. perhaps in the beginning when you need to hear it as a form of reassurance but over time and with plenty of actions to back up the "love", we simply don't need to hear it anymore. we just "know it" now and that is what is important to us. we don't need to ask about it as we both already know the answer. i guess it's the personal security of just knowing it and therefore there is no insecurity of not hearing it.

now if your love language is "words of affirmation" then you may need to hear it more often as that is how you engage with love.
 

Unk Papi

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not as much anymore. i actually asked my wife about this before this reply and she and i both agree that it's not as important anymore. perhaps in the beginning when you need to hear it as a form of reassurance but over time and with plenty of actions to back up the "love", we simply don't need to hear it anymore. we just "know it" now and that is what is important to us. we don't need to ask about it as we both already know the answer. i guess it's the personal security of just knowing it and therefore there is no insecurity of not hearing it.

now if your love language is "words of affirmation" then you may need to hear it more often as that is how you engage with love.

How long were you married before you stopped?
 

Tight_N_Juicy

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Nah come on. We're cool now :p

Really though, I'm not. I did report it, I probably shouldn't have posted it. I keep telling myself in gonna take time away from the place but then my mind starts racing, so I come back. Then this happens. Nothing gets my mind to stop.

Thanks for understanding, but I'm gonna pretend I didn't post this thread.
 

marriedasian

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How long were you married before you stopped?

i can't say for sure when. i''ve been married to my wife for well over a decade now and at some point we just stopped. it became the notion that if we didn't love each other then we wouldn't still be together. many couples stay together for more reasons than just love however my wife and i agreed that if love was gone, then so would we both be. i can't explain it, i just "know" it.
 

AlteredEgo

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I love my husband, but I love him like a brother. When we were in love, we said it often. He'd look up randomly from some game or task, and tell me. Definitely anytime we spoke while he was at sea, and in our emails. Definitely when I watched him board his cutter, long, lingering hugs as we murmured our love and affection to each other. Big hugs and lots of I love yous when his cutter got back. I liked to be waiting on the pier. I missed him so much. He used to set the alarm a few minutes early, just so we could snuggle. I'd wriggle into my place as the little spoon and tell him I loved him as I drifted back to sleep. At some point, I changed our greetings and departure phrase to "Wubble you!" At first he parroted me, but at some point he'd reply with "Lubble you too!" We don't exchange I love yous often now. Probably a few times a year.

I miss being in love with him, but that's over. We recently discussed staying together, but we need to talk more. It seems like he wants to go back to the way things were. I can't do that. I'm not gullible enough. I don't doubt for a second that he loves me very much. But I think if he had more relationship experience, he'd know he was never in love with me. We're friends. Best friends. And that's enough for me. I hope it's enough for him too. If not, we have to go back to the plan of getting divorced, which I no longer want to do.

He is an affection junkie though, and I know that. I'm going to make an effort to verbalize my love for him more often. He may need to hear it.
 

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I can't even remember the last time I said it to my husband.
We, as a couple, were never a big on it. We know that we love each other and there are excellent ways and opportunities to show it. Not that anybody needs to show or prove.

I don't like hearing it from others. People tend to exaggerate their feelings in moments of passion or pleasure and say things they don't mean. Not on purpose, it is in our nature. And I don't like to respond in kind just because he said it. Weird but that is how I feel.

I used to say it a lot when I was a dating teen. Partly because I wanted to be my boyfriend's only love and needed verbal proof. And partly because I didn't know the meaning of true love. I can see that now in hindsight.

Words are useless if you don't feel it in your heart. If not, they won't help in restoring any feeling.

A look will speak a thousand words.