How often do you want to have sex REALISTICALLY?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by B_subgirrl, Jul 2, 2011.

  1. B_subgirrl

    B_subgirrl New Member

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    This thread is inspired by RawDog's thread http://www.lpsg.org/248086-how-often-do-you-want.html , only while he was asking about a hypothetical situation in which 24/7 sex was possible, this thread focuses more on what people might want in a realistic situation.

    How much sex would be your ideal, considering any commitments and obligations you have (eg. work, kids)? Why is that particular number your ideal, rather than a higher or lower one?

    My ideal amount remains the same as in RawDog's thread: 3 times a day. Less would leave me unsatisfied, more might lead to a loss of self.
     
  2. umami_tsunami

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    At least one solid, comprehensive and completed session every day is the baseline necessity. I really like sex for a little while here and there throughout the day without coming every time, so frequency and can be hard to pin down, but if I had to put a ratio on it, I would say 2-3x a day
     
  3. spoon

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    subgirrl and umami tsunami,

    Wow! my answer is i am not sure. how much depends so much on everything else that is going on with me.
     
  4. xxuxu

    xxuxu Active Member

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    I only get to have sex about two times a week lately, as things are pretty busy for both me and my girlfriend, and we're not exactly next door neighbors. When we do it, it's EXPLOSIVE!

    I feel like I should say I want it daily but it's really intense this way. I like it. :)
     
  5. B_subgirrl

    B_subgirrl New Member

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    I like those little quick contact sessions throughout the day too! But for me they would need to be brief contact only sessions - no actual sex.


    It's something I've thought about a lot since being in a relationship with someone who wasn't really into sex and realising how very different libidos can be - hence the extremely clear answer :biggrin1:.

    So you have a highly varied libido? What sorts of things can affect it?
     
  6. B_subgirrl

    B_subgirrl New Member

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    Nah, you should say exactly what you feel. I've known a whole bunch of guys who have an ideal of around once or twice a week. I have to admit, it's something that makes me drop my jaw in shock every time, but it's their answer.

    And explosive sex IS one benefit of not getting to fuck every day. That level is probably something few people could keep up on a daily basis.
     
  7. Gecko4lif

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    Once a month is plenty
     
  8. rembrandt1603

    rembrandt1603 New Member

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    Once at the very least, otherwise I'd go insane. Two good sessions a day would leave me wholly satisfied. I'd leave the weekend for those marathon dick-burner sessions.
     
  9. spoon

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    hey subgirrl,

    in the past year i've been really stressed: health issues, an ex that did not behave well--basically dragged me thru hell, lost my job and a 19 year old cat not doing well-she is going to have to be put down soon.

    so lately very little. when all feels "normal,"---3 to 7 times a week.
     
    #9 spoon, Jul 2, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 2, 2011
  10. D_Hawkeye Pierced

    D_Hawkeye Pierced New Member

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    2 times a day would be perfect. Love starting off my day with having sex and then crawling into bed or the shower at the end of the night to blow off some steam. Maybe once in a while after work a midday romp in the kitchen or living room can be fun!
     
  11. Phil Ayesho

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    It has changed as I have aged...
    A younger me had periods where sex occurred twice a day or more often... but I have to admit that when those periods lasted more than a month or two... I began to feel pretty depleted, worn out, and it almost became a chore.

    In my 30s, Once a day was an occasional habit... it would last for a week or two, before parenting or work or other pressing matters interrupted the mood for either of us...
    And then fall back to 2 or 3 times per week.

    And then there were the times without, entirely... in late pregnancy, and early breastfeeding when I would go months without... that was difficult...

    But actually... It has always varied... and I have to say that, in my last relationship, where she had very little sexual imagination and things became a very rote repetition of the exact same experience every time... My interest dwindled over the years to the point where, when she stopped being interested at all, it didn't seem like much to sacrifice.

    These days, In my 50s, I am with a woman who has a wild and adventurous sexual drive and imagination... And I would and could have sex with her twice or three times a day... That drive and passion for her is there... although that rarely happens... Work and family still get in the way of spending all day in the sack. ( sex, for us, is always a 2 hour block of time, at least )
    However... we do enjoy sex at least 3 to 5 times a week... and it is always fantastic... far better and more varied than I knew with anyone else...


    Quality beats quantity every time.

    Additionally, I have noticed a seasonal pattern in my own Libido... In September and October is when my drive is always the strongest... and most of my experience of multiple sexual episodes per day occurred during these months.
    Even during my sexless sojourns, I would end up masturbating 3 or even 4 times a day during this time of year... whereas other time of the year I masturbate only once per day. ( if I don't have sex that day)
     
    #11 Phil Ayesho, Jul 2, 2011
    Last edited: Jul 2, 2011
  12. RawDog

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    Great question!

    Realistically, I'd love it twice a day on the weekdays. A quickie get-out-of-bed in the morning (I love my orgasms first thing), and a longer more in-depth session in the evening after dinner. If we could sneak one or two more, I'd be happy (one after work, and one in the middle of the night).

    On the weekends, again realistically, about 4 times a day would be great. Less if we could go about an hour or two each.
     
  13. Endued

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    Twice a day would be pushing my limit before I start to very gradually lose the desire. So an average of just under twice a day would suit me. I don't/can't really do quickies, but if I could it might be a bit higher.
     
  14. SoSoPretty

    SoSoPretty Member

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    Once a day, but we would have to take breaks (a few days) here and there....
     
  15. LaFemme

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    Good question....probably at least once a day. But it does depend on the type of sex and how busy the day has been. I like to have one weekend day where sex could occur multiple times.

    At this point I'm single - my experience in relationships has been that I'm the high libido person, my boyfriends were quite happy with sex twice a week and one boyfriend even less than that. Back then I wanted it at least three times a day - so you can see how frustrating those relationships were.
     
  16. Daisy

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    Once a day. Maybe twice. Long weekends..3 times.
     
  17. B_Nicodemous

    B_Nicodemous New Member

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    Ok so i am responding here before RawDog's (sorry RD! She got down on her KNEES and begged me!) so here goes:

    For me with my current crazy schedule if my FB was closer i would still want it at least twice a day, but once if we had the time. Def in the morning as he is uber hard early hours (as opposed to me where I am ready morning, noon and night, everyday including bank holidays!)

    If he was here twice would be yummy, three times every other day perfect and oodles on the weekend if we could get away for the hubbub. So those, again realistically would be once a month fuck-a-thons going up to 7 or more rounds per day (which it is now when we get together. We kid that if we were ever together fulltime we would be thin, broke and homeless as we tend to go 22 hours with no food, and refuse to leave each other for more than the necessary bathroom breaks. Work would be out of the question!)

    SO at least once a day, ideally twice with 3 times every ohter and 4 on the weekends with once a month 7 times a day fuckfests.

    :biggrin: Not that I have given this any thought or anything, lol:redface: :wink:
     
  18. tiggerpoo

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    Every day. No doubt about that.
     
  19. Guy-jin

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    Once per day. I literally do not have the time for more than that, but also need at least that much. It's tough being a work-a-holic.
     
  20. Bbucko

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    Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm...

    First of all, I'm older than most of the others who've responded; say whatever you'd like, that matters.

    The other thing is the kind of sex I require is not at all...um...vanilla. It takes a toll on both my partner(s) and me when it happens with all that intensity and fury on a daily basis.

    That having been said, my libido swings in great arcs between hypersexuality and something approaching complete asexuality. My hyper cycles, which can last months, can approach the absurd, where once per day barely scratches the surface. During my low cycles (like the one I'm in currently), I don't even JO more than twice per week; that's an extreme low, but I've been there for at least the last few months.

    The reasons for the lack of sex drive: low testosterone (my current medical care does not pay for TRT), unusually severe arthritis pain in my neck, a lack of suitable beaux (and an increasing pickyness as I get older), and I work a highly sexualized job in a highly sexualized environment, which jades me. I'm sure there are other reasons, but those came off the top of my head first.

    I've also never been a morning person, and am less-inclined than ever to be one now. One of my most-beloved co-workers has this story of coming home from the bar we work at with a really beautiful guy, and evidently the sex was pretty amazing too. In the dreamy afterglow the guy asked my friend how he likes his eggs cooked in the morning. My co-worker's response was "alone!". The first time I heard him tell me that story, I knew we'd be thick as thieves.

    One last thing: when I was just about to turn 25, I met an amazing man who was, in every way, my physical and temperamental ideal. We complemented each other perfectly, we were both young and each fell head-over-heels immediately. During our first six months, we had sex every night (sometimes more on days we were both free from work). After about six months of it, I found it to be much more of a chore than a pleasure. No other dynamic in our (admittedly stormy) relationship changed: just the sex, which gradually settled down to ~3-4 times per week. We ended up together for four years: in many ways, the happiest and most productive of my life, both emotionally and materialistically.
     
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