How often do you want to have sex REALISTICALLY?

A

AM_092

Guest
Probably once a day everyday... But interchange between oral and anal sex!
 

Ramsey

Sexy Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Apr 18, 2008
Posts
1,159
Media
7
Likes
30
Points
223
Location
Wisconsin
Verification
View
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Male
Once a day.But being realistic, probably 4-5 times a week. Weekends when there's more time (and I don't have to work) I'd like those nice "explore every inch of your partner and fondle their special parts for hours then fuck for a few more hours" sessions.
 

B_subgirrl

Sexy Member
Joined
May 15, 2010
Posts
5,547
Media
0
Likes
33
Points
73
Location
NSW, Australia
Sexuality
99% Straight, 1% Gay
Gender
Female
Thanks for all the contributions :smile:. All those who want sex at least once a day - you make me feel a little more normal, and give me hope that I might at least have a chance of finding a future with a libido to match (or almost match) mine.

I find it really intriguing to read the responses of those who don't want sex very often (compared to me) and to read the responses of those whose libidos vary (again, because it's quite different to how I am).


hey subgirrl,

in the past year i've been really stressed: health issues, an ex that did not behave well--basically dragged me thru hell, lost my job and a 19 year old cat not doing well-she is going to have to be put down soon.

so lately very little. when all feels "normal,"---3 to 7 times a week.

:frown1: It sounds like you've had a terrible year! Made all the worse by your cat being ill - my cat has been really important in getting me through bad patches, and if she wasn't there for me . . . I hope things start looking up for you soon.

I find it interesting that stress has such an effect on your libido (sorry, don't mean to make you sound like a case study or something :redface:). My libido seems to be quite unmovable. Years of depression didn't affect it in the slightest (except when it came to initiating. I couldn't initiate anymore because I couldn't handle the rejection). SSRI's didn't effect it in the slightest. Contraceptives haven't yet affected it in the slightest.

I hope that shared stories like yours could help me understand libido variations in future partners.


It has changed as I have aged...
A younger me had periods where sex occurred twice a day or more often... but I have to admit that when those periods lasted more than a month or two... I began to feel pretty depleted, worn out, and it almost became a chore.

Shortened your post for length's sake. Hope you don't mind.

Your experience I find interesting because of the changing libido, but also because of the periods of low libido.

Can you pinpoint any reason you felt depleted after a period of time with a high libido? Do you think anything specific could have changed how you were feeling at those times?


But actually... It has always varied... and I have to say that, in my last relationship, where she had very little sexual imagination and things became a very rote repetition of the exact same experience every time... My interest dwindled over the years to the point where, when she stopped being interested at all, it didn't seem like much to sacrifice.
I definitely understand this part. I've had sexual relationships where things seem to have fallen into a repetitive rut. It's especially frustrating if you once had a brilliant sexual relationship with that person. Makes you wonder where all the potential went.


These days, In my 50s, I am with a woman who has a wild and adventurous sexual drive and imagination... And I would and could have sex with her twice or three times a day... That drive and passion for her is there... although that rarely happens... Work and family still get in the way of spending all day in the sack. ( sex, for us, is always a 2 hour block of time, at least )
However... we do enjoy sex at least 3 to 5 times a week... and it is always fantastic... far better and more varied than I knew with anyone else...
So the key factor in your libido remaining high in this case is her sexual personality?


Additionally, I have noticed a seasonal pattern in my own Libido... In September and October is when my drive is always the strongest... and most of my experience of multiple sexual episodes per day occurred during these months.
I've never met anyone who has said they have a season pattern! Do you feel more energised in general during those months?

I wonder if anyone else here has noticed a seasonal pattern.


Great question!

Only as great as the question that spawned it :tongue:.


Realistically, I'd love it twice a day on the weekdays. A quickie get-out-of-bed in the morning (I love my orgasms first thing), and a longer more in-depth session in the evening after dinner. If we could sneak one or two more, I'd be happy (one after work, and one in the middle of the night).

On the weekends, again realistically, about 4 times a day would be great. Less if we could go about an hour or two each.
If anyone woke me up in the middle of the night for sex, I would throttle them. I like my sleep. Sex must occur during the awake hours.

My three times a day is also based on at least one session of an hour plus. If they were all short, I suspect I would need a lot more than three a day. Maybe the losing myself thing is a function of time spent floating?


Once a day, but we would have to take breaks (a few days) here and there....

Interesting. Why would you want breaks? Physical recovery, mental recovery, boredom, or something else?


At this point I'm single - my experience in relationships has been that I'm the high libido person, my boyfriends were quite happy with sex twice a week and one boyfriend even less than that. Back then I wanted it at least three times a day - so you can see how frustrating those relationships were.

:biggrin1: Totally understand :biggrin1:


Ok so i am responding here before RawDog's (sorry RD! She got down on her KNEES and begged me!) so here goes:

I begged him on my knees too :biggrin1:. I wanted my favourite two people posting in my thread!


For me with my current crazy schedule if my FB was closer i would still want it at least twice a day, but once if we had the time. Def in the morning as he is uber hard early hours (as opposed to me where I am ready morning, noon and night, everyday including bank holidays!)
Why does that last part not surprise me, especially in relation to him? :tongue:


SO at least once a day, ideally twice with 3 times every ohter and 4 on the weekends with once a month 7 times a day fuckfests.
Why are you not straight? *sigh of disappointment* You certainly beat me with the 7 a day, although maybe I could cope if it was only once a month.


:biggrin: Not that I have given this any thought or anything, lol:redface: :wink:
Your answer was even more specific than mine!


Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm...

First of all, I'm older than most of the others who've responded; say whatever you'd like, that matters.

Phil said that his libido has changed as he aged as well. I'd be interested to know if any other posters have noticed a change with age.


The other thing is the kind of sex I require is not at all...um...vanilla. It takes a toll on both my partner(s) and me when it happens with all that intensity and fury on a daily basis.
Hence my fear of loss of self if full sessions were to occur more often. One session alone is enough to completely throw me for a while.


That having been said, my libido swings in great arcs between hypersexuality and something approaching complete asexuality. My hyper cycles, which can last months, can approach the absurd, where once per day barely scratches the surface. During my low cycles (like the one I'm in currently), I don't even JO more than twice per week; that's an extreme low, but I've been there for at least the last few months.

The reasons for the lack of sex drive: low testosterone (my current medical care does not pay for TRT), unusually severe arthritis pain in my neck, a lack of suitable beaux (and an increasing pickyness as I get older), and I work a highly sexualized job in a highly sexualized environment, which jades me. I'm sure there are other reasons, but those came off the top of my head first.
Thanks for all the typically-Bbucko detail! You preempted my 'why do you think you have cycles?' :tongue:. Although there is one thing you missed - have you noticed any particular reasons for the hypersexual periods?

I think those who get to meet the hypersexual you are rather lucky :smile:.


I've also never been a morning person, and am less-inclined than ever to be one now. One of my most-beloved co-workers has this story of coming home from the bar we work at with a really beautiful guy, and evidently the sex was pretty amazing too. In the dreamy afterglow the guy asked my friend how he likes his eggs cooked in the morning. My co-worker's response was "alone!". The first time I heard him tell me that story, I knew we'd be thick as thieves.
Oh gosh, I am SO not a morning person. If you can screw me quietly without expecting me to interact with you much, fine. If you want actual interaction, you need to wait until I've woken up properly. Typically that takes several hours. My FB is always confused as to why I can't just jump straight out of bed and rush off to see him when he calls - 'A shower? But you can have one of those after sex'.


After about six months of it, I found it to be much more of a chore than a pleasure. No other dynamic in our (admittedly stormy) relationship changed: just the sex, which gradually settled down to ~3-4 times per week. We ended up together for four years: in many ways, the happiest and most productive of my life, both emotionally and materialistically.
Lovely that you were together for very happy years. Interesting that the sexual dynamic changed so dramatically (well, it seems dramatic to me). Do you think that was just the 'honeymoon period' in action?


Probably once a day everyday... But interchange between oral and anal sex!

I'm a little confused (nothing new there :biggrin1:). Do you mean you want both oral and anal every time, or that you sometimes want oral and sometimes want anal?



Just realised how long this post is! Kudos to those of you who get through it.
 

pomaz59

Sexy Member
Joined
Oct 26, 2010
Posts
249
Media
0
Likes
33
Points
53
Location
Europe
Sexuality
99% Straight, 1% Gay
Gender
Male
right now, my sex drive is insane. its been years i had sex with an actual partner and i'm so much desiring it again, i could go 2-3 times a day.

but:
1. i know myself, this would drop probably after a month to once a day or even a bit less. but i think as long as my libido is normal, i will always want to have sex at least 3-4 times a week.

2. i think more than once a day (actually, even once a day) isn't realistically achievable for a longer period if you both have full time jobs. job limits your free time and sometimes affects your sex drive negatively too much for that.
 

B_subgirrl

Sexy Member
Joined
May 15, 2010
Posts
5,547
Media
0
Likes
33
Points
73
Location
NSW, Australia
Sexuality
99% Straight, 1% Gay
Gender
Female
right now, my sex drive is insane. its been years i had sex with an actual partner and i'm so much desiring it again, i could go 2-3 times a day.

but:
1. i know myself, this would drop probably after a month to once a day or even a bit less. but i think as long as my libido is normal, i will always want to have sex at least 3-4 times a week.

I think it's cool that you understand yourself well enough to know that your libido would drop again after a time.


2. i think more than once a day (actually, even once a day) isn't realistically achievable for a longer period if you both have full time jobs. job limits your free time and sometimes affects your sex drive negatively too much for that.

I think this is very true for some people. But I also think we are all affected differently by things like stress, or work. For me, my sex drive hasn't changed since I was 16. I've had periods when I've worked full time, periods when I haven't been 100% well physically and periods when I've had clinical depression and anxiety. And my sex drive never changes. That's part of why I'm enjoying this thread. It's interesting to see the differences between people.
 

RawDog

Expert Member
Joined
Mar 27, 2005
Posts
4,415
Media
17
Likes
243
Points
283
Location
Grinding the backstop (in Colorado)
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Male
If anyone woke me up in the middle of the night for sex, I would throttle them. I like my sleep. Sex must occur during the awake hours.

When I said middle of the night, I meant as in we both can't sleep. I've had times when she couldn't sleep and just started sucking my cock. I was more than happy to wake up to that, although I would be happier if I woke up to being inside her. As far as entering her while she was asleep, that would be the worse crime I could commit. There's so much of build up we have to go through to penetrate her, I wouldn't dream of doing it without her knowledge first. A lesser crime would be to wake her up to fuck.

My three times a day is also based on at least one session of an hour plus. If they were all short, I suspect I would need a lot more than three a day. Maybe the losing myself thing is a function of time spent floating?

Time inside is such a big factor in the how often do you want to have sex question. I have a friend who's almost always horny, but says she needs a lot of short breaks between. She loves a lot of quickies. <-- That would drive me up the wall. Yes definitely time floating. The minute I touch her cul-de-sac is when it starts for us and just gets deeper and deeper from there.
 
Last edited:

AlteredEgo

Mythical Member
Joined
Jan 12, 2006
Posts
19,176
Media
37
Likes
26,249
Points
368
Location
Hello (Sud-Ouest, Burkina Faso)
Sexuality
No Response
Twice a day would be ideal for me, but speaking pragmatically, I would be very happy with 3-4 times a week. We're getting there.

Actually, we just got done. I kinda want more, but he has homework, and the house is a mess, and I need to make dinner, and go to the gym, and get some groceries. . .
 

CrookedHalo

Legendary Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Jan 4, 2011
Posts
982
Media
12
Likes
1,680
Points
448
Location
Midwest Farmer's Daughter (I really am!)
Verification
View
Gender
Female
2 times a day would be perfect. Love starting off my day with having sex and then crawling into bed or the shower at the end of the night to blow off some steam. Maybe once in a while after work a midday romp in the kitchen or living room can be fun!


What he said! My feelings exactly on this matter.

I feel as though i have some serious catching up to do. I've only ever found one guy who had a libido that matched mine. We were perfectly compatible in the sex department. I've thought about what could have made it so good, snd him so much different, and believe that it was our comfort level with each other. I wanted him to be happy and content, and I'm sure he wanted the same for me. Interestingly, none of the other relationships I've had were anywhere close to my frequency level of expectation sexually speaking.