A
hey subgirrl,
in the past year i've been really stressed: health issues, an ex that did not behave well--basically dragged me thru hell, lost my job and a 19 year old cat not doing well-she is going to have to be put down soon.
so lately very little. when all feels "normal,"---3 to 7 times a week.
It has changed as I have aged...
A younger me had periods where sex occurred twice a day or more often... but I have to admit that when those periods lasted more than a month or two... I began to feel pretty depleted, worn out, and it almost became a chore.
I definitely understand this part. I've had sexual relationships where things seem to have fallen into a repetitive rut. It's especially frustrating if you once had a brilliant sexual relationship with that person. Makes you wonder where all the potential went.But actually... It has always varied... and I have to say that, in my last relationship, where she had very little sexual imagination and things became a very rote repetition of the exact same experience every time... My interest dwindled over the years to the point where, when she stopped being interested at all, it didn't seem like much to sacrifice.
So the key factor in your libido remaining high in this case is her sexual personality?These days, In my 50s, I am with a woman who has a wild and adventurous sexual drive and imagination... And I would and could have sex with her twice or three times a day... That drive and passion for her is there... although that rarely happens... Work and family still get in the way of spending all day in the sack. ( sex, for us, is always a 2 hour block of time, at least )
However... we do enjoy sex at least 3 to 5 times a week... and it is always fantastic... far better and more varied than I knew with anyone else...
I've never met anyone who has said they have a season pattern! Do you feel more energised in general during those months?Additionally, I have noticed a seasonal pattern in my own Libido... In September and October is when my drive is always the strongest... and most of my experience of multiple sexual episodes per day occurred during these months.
Great question!
If anyone woke me up in the middle of the night for sex, I would throttle them. I like my sleep. Sex must occur during the awake hours.Realistically, I'd love it twice a day on the weekdays. A quickie get-out-of-bed in the morning (I love my orgasms first thing), and a longer more in-depth session in the evening after dinner. If we could sneak one or two more, I'd be happy (one after work, and one in the middle of the night).
On the weekends, again realistically, about 4 times a day would be great. Less if we could go about an hour or two each.
Once a day, but we would have to take breaks (a few days) here and there....
At this point I'm single - my experience in relationships has been that I'm the high libido person, my boyfriends were quite happy with sex twice a week and one boyfriend even less than that. Back then I wanted it at least three times a day - so you can see how frustrating those relationships were.
Ok so i am responding here before RawDog's (sorry RD! She got down on her KNEES and begged me!) so here goes:
Why does that last part not surprise me, especially in relation to him? :tongue:For me with my current crazy schedule if my FB was closer i would still want it at least twice a day, but once if we had the time. Def in the morning as he is uber hard early hours (as opposed to me where I am ready morning, noon and night, everyday including bank holidays!)
Why are you not straight? *sigh of disappointment* You certainly beat me with the 7 a day, although maybe I could cope if it was only once a month.SO at least once a day, ideally twice with 3 times every ohter and 4 on the weekends with once a month 7 times a day fuckfests.
Your answer was even more specific than mine!:biggrin: Not that I have given this any thought or anything, lol:redface: :wink:
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm...
First of all, I'm older than most of the others who've responded; say whatever you'd like, that matters.
Hence my fear of loss of self if full sessions were to occur more often. One session alone is enough to completely throw me for a while.The other thing is the kind of sex I require is not at all...um...vanilla. It takes a toll on both my partner(s) and me when it happens with all that intensity and fury on a daily basis.
Thanks for all the typically-Bbucko detail! You preempted my 'why do you think you have cycles?' :tongue:. Although there is one thing you missed - have you noticed any particular reasons for the hypersexual periods?That having been said, my libido swings in great arcs between hypersexuality and something approaching complete asexuality. My hyper cycles, which can last months, can approach the absurd, where once per day barely scratches the surface. During my low cycles (like the one I'm in currently), I don't even JO more than twice per week; that's an extreme low, but I've been there for at least the last few months.
The reasons for the lack of sex drive: low testosterone (my current medical care does not pay for TRT), unusually severe arthritis pain in my neck, a lack of suitable beaux (and an increasing pickyness as I get older), and I work a highly sexualized job in a highly sexualized environment, which jades me. I'm sure there are other reasons, but those came off the top of my head first.
Oh gosh, I am SO not a morning person. If you can screw me quietly without expecting me to interact with you much, fine. If you want actual interaction, you need to wait until I've woken up properly. Typically that takes several hours. My FB is always confused as to why I can't just jump straight out of bed and rush off to see him when he calls - 'A shower? But you can have one of those after sex'.I've also never been a morning person, and am less-inclined than ever to be one now. One of my most-beloved co-workers has this story of coming home from the bar we work at with a really beautiful guy, and evidently the sex was pretty amazing too. In the dreamy afterglow the guy asked my friend how he likes his eggs cooked in the morning. My co-worker's response was "alone!". The first time I heard him tell me that story, I knew we'd be thick as thieves.
Lovely that you were together for very happy years. Interesting that the sexual dynamic changed so dramatically (well, it seems dramatic to me). Do you think that was just the 'honeymoon period' in action?After about six months of it, I found it to be much more of a chore than a pleasure. No other dynamic in our (admittedly stormy) relationship changed: just the sex, which gradually settled down to ~3-4 times per week. We ended up together for four years: in many ways, the happiest and most productive of my life, both emotionally and materialistically.
Probably once a day everyday... But interchange between oral and anal sex!
right now, my sex drive is insane. its been years i had sex with an actual partner and i'm so much desiring it again, i could go 2-3 times a day.
but:
1. i know myself, this would drop probably after a month to once a day or even a bit less. but i think as long as my libido is normal, i will always want to have sex at least 3-4 times a week.
2. i think more than once a day (actually, even once a day) isn't realistically achievable for a longer period if you both have full time jobs. job limits your free time and sometimes affects your sex drive negatively too much for that.
If anyone woke me up in the middle of the night for sex, I would throttle them. I like my sleep. Sex must occur during the awake hours.
My three times a day is also based on at least one session of an hour plus. If they were all short, I suspect I would need a lot more than three a day. Maybe the losing myself thing is a function of time spent floating?
2 times a day would be perfect. Love starting off my day with having sex and then crawling into bed or the shower at the end of the night to blow off some steam. Maybe once in a while after work a midday romp in the kitchen or living room can be fun!