How often do you want to have sex REALISTICALLY?

Phil Ayesho

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Shortened your post for length's sake. Hope you don't mind.

Your experience I find interesting because of the changing libido, but also because of the periods of low libido.

Can you pinpoint any reason you felt depleted after a period of time with a high libido? Do you think anything specific could have changed how you were feeling at those times?

Well, being a guy... my libido is closely tied to simple liquidity. Sex several times in a day for any stretch of time leaves one with no real bodily fluids. You can outstrip your bodies' ability to produce seminal fluid and sperm, and that can make orgasm difficult, impossible or even painful for some men.

Most tellingly, Libido declines with exhaustion... not necessarily from sex, but from other factors; working long hours on stressful projects, coupled with family life, child rearing, daily chores... can simply leave one intellectually willing but physically spent...
In my experience, sex is generally far more aerobic for the male than the female... If she is exhausted, she can still lie back and enjoy a solid pounding... but doing the pounding takes some significant verve...

Also, illness, even a simple cold, can make things not work like they ought to, especially as one ages...


All this has little to do with my INTEREST in sex... it does have to do with my confidence that I will be able to adequately entertain and please my partner... and I would rather go without than show my partner a dull time in the sack.

I definitely understand this part. I've had sexual relationships where things seem to have fallen into a repetitive rut. It's especially frustrating if you once had a brilliant sexual relationship with that person. Makes you wonder where all the potential went.

Yes... a key influence on my libido definitely centers around pure boredom...
Not boredom over the familiarity of my partner ( I am not looking for variety with another person) but boredom over something that has become routine, with no spark or fire... no play, no inventive variation that makes things fun..
In particular... something I have noticed thru two long term relationships that ultimately failed... is when my partner seems to cop the attitude that I should be grateful she is willing to have sex.
When a woman starts making a man feel she is doing him a favor by bedding him... that makes sex with her worse than beating off alone on the dark.


So the key factor in your libido remaining high in this case is her sexual personality?
Very much so... but also just her general outlook and joy. She is delightful to look upon, fun, intelligent, and, most importantly, able to laugh at herself. She Loves to be touched, and I am a man who loves to touch.
With her, eating breakfast becomes foreplay... a walk thru the park, or just driving in the car together, is all part of the dance of attraction... she is astonishingly expressive in her kiss and her embrace, and freely gives voice to how attractive she finds me. She never fails to show her appreciation for my devotion and my attention...

We both have been thru previous relationships with difficult partners, and I guess a big part is that we both understand how those prior relationships failed and how important it is to keep each other in high regard, and appreciate the wonderful traits that we each see in the other.

And, of course, in bed she is a dynamo of delight... always willing to explore, without the encumbrances of "shouldn'ts" or "Ought Nots"

All of this I find terrifically sexy... and I can not get my mind off of her.



I've never met anyone who has said they have a season pattern! Do you feel more energised in general during those months?

Not sure... I do produce a prodigious amount of semen in those months...
Whereas other times of the year two ejaculations within a few hours will leave me bone dry, during fall, I seem to be able to orgasm 4 or 6 times a day without running out.
The additional pressure of that fluid seems to create a similar increase in interest and energy in sex.

I always assumed it was an evolutionary thing... increasing the likelihood that babies would be born in summer... that pregnancies would be in the cold months when women's own bodies provide developing babies with the best shelter from the elements...

but maybe its just me.
 
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At least one solid, comprehensive and completed session every day


I agree with this completely. For me, normally, the ideal is two times a day, record is 6 in a day (avoid this at all costs). Currently, my ideal is once or twice a month (sadly hormones are preventing this), untill August 6, 2011 at exactly 1:25pm PST, in which case I will drive home and become too drunk to have sex.
 

D_Percy_Prettywillie

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Realistically speaking probably once every two weeks. That sounds like I must not have much of a sex drive but the truth is I work so many hours and have so much stuff going on, the mood doesn't strike me until my need for release reaches a full boil. It takes about two weeks.

When I was a little younger I wanted to have sex more often than that but that's kind of where this frame of mind was born; sex is a lot of work. I can't just /do it/. A mood has to be created, the environment has to be appropriate, there's the hours of foreplay and dirty talk, and then there's the actual sex itself, and there has to be time after it to cuddle and eat and such. In order for me to really enjoy it, it's a production. That's time I just don't have. I don't three hours with nothing going on very often.

As sad as it sounds masturbation is just easier (and quicker.) I will say last Christmas I had sex five times in one day (with the same person). That was... interesting but definitely the exception and not the rule.



JSZ
 

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I'd like it 2-3 times a day but it doesn't have to be full on sex and l often don't feel like cumming each time either, l love pleasuring any lass that l'm with as often as poss and l also enjoy quick hard sessions as well as long languid sessions.

My ideal would probably be one good slow sensuous session (cumming optional), a quickie (preferably in a risky place where we could get caught) & plenty of pussy & cock teasing. This doesn't happen very often but when it has l'm a very happy man!!
 

oralslut464

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have not had sex with my wife in 2 years. I have health issues - meds interfere with erections and my wife is over 50 and she says she has no interest in sex anymore. My wife has had neck and back surgery 3 times and her vertebra in her neck did not heal correctly so any kind of movement hurts her really badly. Driving, bending over, picking things up that are heavy, even her being on top really hurts her - after one session she is down on the couch or in bed for 2 to 3 daysl. the last time - she ended up in the hospital with severe pain and severe migrains , back pain, and neck pain ( this was with her on top). Now I just like hooking with men and providing oral sex with them. I have been BI all my life so now I just go that way - with caution. I have a couple of married man in the area who are in the same situation and we have fun together.
 

B_subgirrl

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When I said middle of the night, I meant as in we both can't sleep. I've had times when she couldn't sleep and just started sucking my cock. I was more than happy to wake up to that, although I would be happier if I woke up to being inside her. As far as entering her while she was asleep, that would be the worse crime I could commit. There's so much of build up we have to go through to penetrate her, I wouldn't dream of doing it without her knowledge first. A lesser crime would be to wake her up to fuck.

Oh, if I was already awake, I wouldn't mind at all! To be honest, I wouldn't even mind him fucking me while I was asleep, if I was at all likely to sleep through it (of course, I WOULDN'T be able to sleep through it). And it's a lovely way to wake up if I had to get up soon anyway. Just don't wake me up unnecessarily. Disturbed sleep makes for a very cranky subgirrl.


Time inside is such a big factor in the how often do you want to have sex question. I have a friend who's almost always horny, but says she needs a lot of short breaks between. She loves a lot of quickies. <-- That would drive me up the wall. Yes definitely time floating. The minute I touch her cul-de-sac is when it starts for us and just gets deeper and deeper from there.

Quickies are nice and they're fun. Long, involved, intense sessions are even better :biggrin1: (but also contribute more intensely to my 3 times a day limit).


Twice a day would be ideal for me, but speaking pragmatically, I would be very happy with 3-4 times a week. We're getting there.

Actually, we just got done. I kinda want more, but he has homework, and the house is a mess, and I need to make dinner, and go to the gym, and get some groceries. . .

Great to hear things are improving!!! I hope things get even better for you :smile:.


What he said! My feelings exactly on this matter.

I feel as though i have some serious catching up to do. I've only ever found one guy who had a libido that matched mine. We were perfectly compatible in the sex department. I've thought about what could have made it so good, snd him so much different, and believe that it was our comfort level with each other. I wanted him to be happy and content, and I'm sure he wanted the same for me. Interestingly, none of the other relationships I've had were anywhere close to my frequency level of expectation sexually speaking.

It sounds like our experiences have been similar. Like you, I've had only one perfectly compatible partner (in libido level and other ways).


More than twice a year...

Three times would be enough?


Bumping it cuz I can! will write more later:smile:

What! it took a while to respond again to RD's thread! :redface:

:biggrin1: I expect to see you back here ASAP. (Can't believe you put RawDog before me! :tongue:)


Well, being a guy... my libido is closely tied to simple liquidity. Sex several times in a day for any stretch of time leaves one with no real bodily fluids. You can outstrip your bodies' ability to produce seminal fluid and sperm, and that can make orgasm difficult, impossible or even painful for some men.

I was completely unaware that it could be painful!


In my experience, sex is generally far more aerobic for the male than the female... If she is exhausted, she can still lie back and enjoy a solid pounding... but doing the pounding takes some significant verve...

This has been my experience too, although I suspect it many of the women here may feel differently. Once I'm in the floaty place (see RawDog's thread for more info), I don't have the body control to do anything that energetic.


All this has little to do with my INTEREST in sex... it does have to do with my confidence that I will be able to adequately entertain and please my partner... and I would rather go without than show my partner a dull time in the sack.

Understood.


Yes... a key influence on my libido definitely centers around pure boredom...
Not boredom over the familiarity of my partner ( I am not looking for variety with another person) but boredom over something that has become routine, with no spark or fire... no play, no inventive variation that makes things fun..
In particular... something I have noticed thru two long term relationships that ultimately failed... is when my partner seems to cop the attitude that I should be grateful she is willing to have sex.
When a woman starts making a man feel she is doing him a favor by bedding him... that makes sex with her worse than beating off alone on the dark.

I've always hated that attitude!!!! Always! I have had women tell me that my FB should be 'grateful' he gets to have sex with me, and every single time, I pull them up on it. I want/need it as much as he does. Why should he be grateful? People should not be having sex with someone on a regular basis as a 'favour'. I've also been on the receiving end of this, with an ex of mine always making me feel as though he thought he was doing me a favour by having sex with me.


Very much so... but also just her general outlook and joy. She is delightful to look upon, fun, intelligent, and, most importantly, able to laugh at herself. She Loves to be touched, and I am a man who loves to touch.
With her, eating breakfast becomes foreplay... a walk thru the park, or just driving in the car together, is all part of the dance of attraction... she is astonishingly expressive in her kiss and her embrace, and freely gives voice to how attractive she finds me. She never fails to show her appreciation for my devotion and my attention...

We both have been thru previous relationships with difficult partners, and I guess a big part is that we both understand how those prior relationships failed and how important it is to keep each other in high regard, and appreciate the wonderful traits that we each see in the other.

And, of course, in bed she is a dynamo of delight... always willing to explore, without the encumbrances of "shouldn'ts" or "Ought Nots"

All of this I find terrifically sexy... and I can not get my mind off of her.

Sounds like you have a wonderful relationship!!! I have no doubt she feels the same about you.


Not sure... I do produce a prodigious amount of semen in those months...
Whereas other times of the year two ejaculations within a few hours will leave me bone dry, during fall, I seem to be able to orgasm 4 or 6 times a day without running out.
The additional pressure of that fluid seems to create a similar increase in interest and energy in sex.

I always assumed it was an evolutionary thing... increasing the likelihood that babies would be born in summer... that pregnancies would be in the cold months when women's own bodies provide developing babies with the best shelter from the elements...

but maybe its just me.

I think the evolutionary idea fits well. My mum always wondered if her body was evolutionarily tuned to produce babies at the end of spring/beginning of summer. Two of her four babies were due in May.

Still wondering if anyone else experiences this seasonal cycle. New thread idea maybe?


Realistically speaking probably once every two weeks. That sounds like I must not have much of a sex drive but the truth is I work so many hours and have so much stuff going on, the mood doesn't strike me until my need for release reaches a full boil. It takes about two weeks.

Good on you for being honest. That must be hard when so many people are giving numbers that are so different to yours. I'm actually surprised that so many people have been giving such high numbers, as they don't correlate with what I've heard/experienced in RL. Could be because of the sort of site this is.


When I was a little younger I wanted to have sex more often than that but that's kind of where this frame of mind was born; sex is a lot of work. I can't just /do it/. A mood has to be created, the environment has to be appropriate, there's the hours of foreplay and dirty talk, and then there's the actual sex itself, and there has to be time after it to cuddle and eat and such. In order for me to really enjoy it, it's a production. That's time I just don't have. I don't three hours with nothing going on very often.

Mood? Environment? Foreplay? What are they? :tongue::smile: We are complete opposites! I can see why you would need a lot of available time, if you need those elements included.


I'd like it 2-3 times a day but it doesn't have to be full on sex and l often don't feel like cumming each time either, l love pleasuring any lass that l'm with as often as poss and l also enjoy quick hard sessions as well as long languid sessions.

My ideal would probably be one good slow sensuous session (cumming optional), a quickie (preferably in a risky place where we could get caught) & plenty of pussy & cock teasing. This doesn't happen very often but when it has l'm a very happy man!!

Your ideal sounds very similar to mine, although I would want an extra session in there.

I love how you see orgasm as optional. Sex is good, even when you aren't orgasming!
 

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(I'm on my way out the door when SG posted her post, so that's why my reply will be brief)

I was completely unaware that it could be painful!

*IF* I'm trying to cum when I know my body doesn't have the ejaculate behind it, it is very painful for me. My asshole literally cramps up. I've never written this, but it really hurts. Which is why I know my body well enough that if I'm fucking right after I cum, I ain't cumming.

In my experience, sex is generally far more aerobic for the male than the female... If she is exhausted, she can still lie back and enjoy a solid pounding... but doing the pounding takes some significant verve...

Which is why I so love our swing. Gravity and leverage make it totally effortless. Especially getting all the angles. I puss the back of the chair forward, rest on my heels, I get to rub her anterior wall. Pull the back towards me and straighten my legs, her posterior wall gets a good rubbing.
 

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*IF* I'm trying to cum when I know my body doesn't have the ejaculate behind it, it is very painful for me. My asshole literally cramps up. I've never written this, but it really hurts. Which is why I know my body well enough that if I'm fucking right after I cum, I ain't cumming.

What about fucking without trying to cum? That doesn't hurt too does it?

I can't believe I've never had a guy say anything to me before this.
 

Phil Ayesho

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What about fucking without trying to cum? That doesn't hurt too does it?

I can't believe I've never had a guy say anything to me before this.

Well, just because its painful doesn't always mean we aren't enjoying ourselves.


But you know that sound a milkshake makes when there is almost nothing left and the straw starts sucking air?

That's kinda what it FEELS like, except your testicles are trying to turn inside out.

But generally speaking... guys don't usually admit to minor pains... its unmanly.

that's why we drop dead without warning so often.
 

molotovmuffin

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I want sex at least once daily in the evenings. Morning sex would also be greatly welcomed...and if you want to wake me in the middle of the night...they YeaY for me! Of course some quickies are good too.
 

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Once a day on working days. Thrice on holidays, with one of the sessions being very long.
 

B_Nicodemous

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Well, being a guy... my libido is closely tied to simple liquidity. Sex several times in a day for any stretch of time leaves one with no real bodily fluids. You can outstrip your bodies' ability to produce seminal fluid and sperm, and that can make orgasm difficult, impossible or even painful for some men.

Most tellingly, Libido declines with exhaustion... not necessarily from sex, but from other factors; working long hours on stressful projects, coupled with family life, child rearing, daily chores... can simply leave one intellectually willing but physically spent...
In my experience, sex is generally far more aerobic for the male than the female... If she is exhausted, she can still lie back and enjoy a solid pounding... but doing the pounding takes some significant verve...

Also, illness, even a simple cold, can make things not work like they ought to, especially as one ages...


All this has little to do with my INTEREST in sex... it does have to do with my confidence that I will be able to adequately entertain and please my partner... and I would rather go without than show my partner a dull time in the sack.



Yes... a key influence on my libido definitely centers around pure boredom...
Not boredom over the familiarity of my partner ( I am not looking for variety with another person) but boredom over something that has become routine, with no spark or fire... no play, no inventive variation that makes things fun..
In particular... something I have noticed thru two long term relationships that ultimately failed... is when my partner seems to cop the attitude that I should be grateful she is willing to have sex.
When a woman starts making a man feel she is doing him a favor by bedding him... that makes sex with her worse than beating off alone on the dark.



Very much so... but also just her general outlook and joy. She is delightful to look upon, fun, intelligent, and, most importantly, able to laugh at herself. She Loves to be touched, and I am a man who loves to touch.
With her, eating breakfast becomes foreplay... a walk thru the park, or just driving in the car together, is all part of the dance of attraction... she is astonishingly expressive in her kiss and her embrace, and freely gives voice to how attractive she finds me. She never fails to show her appreciation for my devotion and my attention...

We both have been thru previous relationships with difficult partners, and I guess a big part is that we both understand how those prior relationships failed and how important it is to keep each other in high regard, and appreciate the wonderful traits that we each see in the other.

And, of course, in bed she is a dynamo of delight... always willing to explore, without the encumbrances of "shouldn'ts" or "Ought Nots"

All of this I find terrifically sexy... and I can not get my mind off of her.





Not sure... I do produce a prodigious amount of semen in those months...
Whereas other times of the year two ejaculations within a few hours will leave me bone dry, during fall, I seem to be able to orgasm 4 or 6 times a day without running out.
The additional pressure of that fluid seems to create a similar increase in interest and energy in sex.

I always assumed it was an evolutionary thing... increasing the likelihood that babies would be born in summer... that pregnancies would be in the cold months when women's own bodies provide developing babies with the best shelter from the elements...

but maybe its just me.
Ok forgot to include the things like exhustion, illness, grief and such i my answer sub. I have mentioned before that these things throw my libido for a wonky loop.

Example: Rigt before an illness really hits and during the recuop time my libido goes through the roof! Grief makes itdisapear completely, as does when i am in the middle of n illness. Stomach and intestinal illnesses likewise kill it. Exhustion hightens it but makes be unabke to do anyting about it!
No real differeance seasonally that I notice. Woner if it is a straight v gay thing. huh. I will start a thread on that tonight. Not if it is straight vs gay but if poeple expereince it, if so when, and theier sex and orientation.

And yes if I am low an seminal fluids it can hurt like a sonofabitch. Not that tht will nessacarily stop me. lol.
(I'm on my way out the door when SG posted her post, so that's why my reply will be brief)



*IF* I'm trying to cum when I know my body doesn't have the ejaculate behind it, it is very painful for me. My asshole literally cramps up. I've never written this, but it really hurts. Which is why I know my body well enough that if I'm fucking right after I cum, I ain't cumming.



Which is why I so love our swing. Gravity and leverage make it totally effortless. Especially getting all the angles. I puss the back of the chair forward, rest on my heels, I get to rub her anterior wall. Pull the back towards me and straighten my legs, her posterior wall gets a good rubbing.
I always feel it deep in the center of my cock, towards the base. Its a straining feeling, like when your pucking and it turns into dry heaves.
Well, just because its painful doesn't always mean we aren't enjoying ourselves.


But you know that sound a milkshake makes when there is almost nothing left and the straw starts sucking air?

That's kinda what it FEELS like, except your testicles are trying to turn inside out.

But generally speaking... guys don't usually admit to minor pains... its unmanly.

that's why we drop dead without warning so often.
Ooohhh I like the desciption! Though Again I feel it not so much in my balls butat the center base of my cock. Huh. Three different places we are feeling it then. Maybe a new thread on that is needed :redface:
 

B_subgirrl

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Well, just because its painful doesn't always mean we aren't enjoying ourselves.


But you know that sound a milkshake makes when there is almost nothing left and the straw starts sucking air?

That's kinda what it FEELS like, except your testicles are trying to turn inside out.

But generally speaking... guys don't usually admit to minor pains... its unmanly.

that's why we drop dead without warning so often.


Ouch! I hate the thought that my partners have been experiencing pain when I've been encouraging them to give me more :frown1:. I really wouldn't mind if they said 'It's starting to hurt. Can we take a break?' It wouldn't seem unmanly at all. Then again, if the pain is minimal enough that they're willing to ignore it and keep on fucking, I'm not going to complain :tongue:.
 

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What about fucking without trying to cum? That doesn't hurt too does it?

This is why I don't bother trying to cum if it feels like it's too soon. No, it doesn't hurt, in fact it gives me the ability to enjoy the floaty place without the pressure of lasting long enough or trying to reach that peak.

In fact I've had quickies prior to our fuckfests just to get my orgasm out of the way. That's how much I love the floaty place.

I can't believe I've never had a guy say anything to me before this.

Frankly, before Phil's post, I thought I was the only one as well. Learn something new everyday.