How often.....

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by Nienna, Apr 30, 2005.

  1. Nienna

    Nienna New Member

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    Do you have sex.....

    once a week? once a day? more?

    My best friend is always complaining that she " has to do her duty" on saturday nights.. And I know (because she and I have been friends for many years) That he is well endowed and very talented in the bedroom. But she just lacks the desire for sex. She would rather watch tv or read an Inquirer or something. She's been like this for the last 5 years or so.......they've been married almost 10.

    I am comletely baffled at her, I have sex at least once a day. As soon as the hubby and I are alone its playtime. I just can't get enough of it. ( we've been together for 7). She calls me a nympho freak and I think she's turned into an old prude. I still love her to death but I just don't get how she could NOT want a guy who she knows is totally rockin in the sac. She assures me that the sex is still amazing when it happens, she just doesnt want it. She even jokes that I should service her hubby for her and then he wouldn't bother her. (and he is damn hot to).

    Just wondering if I am the freak here or what? She says all her girlfriends at work are the same about sex......they just aren't into it.
     
  2. B_GorgeousJane

    B_GorgeousJane New Member

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    well Nienna, we can be freaks together, if freaks we are!!

    It's always sad when a couple's sexual passion simply evaporates - it's not the only thing in a relationship, of course, but if the physical side isn't there anymore you wonder what else is going wrong.

    Anyway. Me & my bf have sex as often as poss too - we don't live together so it isn't just a case of being alone in the house, but we usually make it work 4 times a week, and 2 or 3 times in each session. I think if we did live together it'd be 5 times a day, 9 days a week lol .

    When something in life feels this good, why deny it??
     
  3. Nienna

    Nienna New Member

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    This is how I ogt pregnant with my daughter many years ago lol.....and now that he's fixed, its purely for sport :)
     
  4. madame_zora

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    Nienna, sometimes I wonder if we women who love sex aren't in the minority! You sure don't see many of us on forums or dating sites, I think you friend is not that unusual- we are!

    Oh well, more for us.
     
  5. Vix

    Vix New Member

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    Women in the States tend to be more repressed. Plenty do love sex though (it's more a matter of being able to scream it) :D

    Vix
     
  6. BobLeeSwagger

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    It is not the comparison between her sex drive and yours that's the issue here. It's the difference between hers and her husband's. Everyone's sex drive is different, including during different times of their lives. And since she's not YOUR sex partner, how often she wants it is irrelevant to you. The fact that her husband wants it much more than she does is the real issue. And if he wants it bad enough while she holds out, he could end up looking elsewhere.

    Be thankful that you and your husband have such compatible libidos. Few people are so lucky. If both of you only wanted it once a month, that would be fine too, as long as it's what both people want.
     
  7. BobLeeSwagger

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    I think it's a sizeable minority, but a quiet one. Quite a few women REALLY enjoy sex, but it's not worth the hassle to be open about it.
     
  8. jonb

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    I think the female libido's just more complicated. Many women never have an orgasm except by masturbation, so of course they don't enjoy sex.

    Personally I've always used clitoridectomy as a metaphor for sexual double standards in general. Most people know that clitoridectomy (and its even-worse cousin, infibulation) are common in eastern Africa. Contrary to popular belief, though, clitoridectomy is performed by elderly women, not by men at all.

    In an era of upper-class white women "awakening the goddess within" (whose ideals apparently match those of the Victorian woman, only with orgasms), my metaphor is even more apropos.
     
  9. Dr. Dilznick

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    There's a kind of flawed logic at work here.
     
  10. madame_zora

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    Actually female castration is still being done in quite a few countries. Who performs the "ceremony" varies from place to place but it's far more prevalent than we'd like to believe.

    I understand the analogy though, and I can't say I disagree. Sure, when women don't orgasm during sex with a partner, the draw just isn't there.
     
  11. Nienna

    Nienna New Member

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    well, its not really an issue, more of a curiousity........

    And she is my best friend and she made it relavant to me when she told me about it. We talk about it all the time, wich is why I posted here......We both know peoples libidos change, and thats life.....It was just one of those things to talk about topics.
     
  12. LongNights

    LongNights Member

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    For me, as a male, I have had lovers who wanted it 3 times a day and some who would want it once a week. Not sure what the criteria for the "need" is, but let me find someone that wants it 3 times a day and game on!!

    I personally, like it ....ummm ALL DAY!

    -LongNights-
     
  13. D_Barbi_Queue

    D_Barbi_Queue Account Disabled

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    I'm actually one of those that just isn't in the mood for it sometimes. Usually I'm worn out from the day with the kids and all I want to do at night is curl up with a good book or fall asleep. It's sad...I need the romance put back in our lives. Hopefully, once we get settled, we can find a babysitter that we trust and we can get out and enjoy each other more.
     
  14. summertime01

    summertime01 New Member

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    Hmm, now in my 40's, I can't get enough!
    Having small children around is great for decreasing the libido. I stayed exhausted all the time. I absolutley love my life in the past 4-5 years or so & I'm so VERY glad that i had my children when I was younger.
     
  15. ItsJustMe

    ItsJustMe New Member

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    With soon-to-be-ex-hubby sex was a chore (not the reason for our divorce, btw.) I was no longer attracted to him and basically had sex with him so he'd leave me alone and stop whining about how I was "rejecting" him.

    With the guy I'm currently seeing I could go every day and this is such a new and fun sensation for me! He turns me on physically and mentally and that is so sexy. We are very compatible and this makes me happy.

    In case it matters I turned 40 in March (my sexual peak, finally??) and have no children.
     
  16. Nienna

    Nienna New Member

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    Great to hear you ladies are living it up :)

    My kids are 5 and 8 and yeah its hard to find the time to be alone, but as soon as we have it, we don't even think about doing anything else till our libidos are satisfied. When I was pregnant it was torture, I was to sick to enjoy anything but sleep, and then I was to huge to even think about sex, I think that was the longest I had ever gone without..... by the time I could resume activities it was like discovering each other all over again. And we still are like that after all this time. :)
     
  17. BruceSter

    BruceSter New Member

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    I don't see the point in counting your sexual activities and then check out how often you do it per week/day/month/year/decade etc...

    My l/f and me are in a steady relationship, but we don't live together. Though, we meet whenever possible, so mostly on weekends and on the days when I have a free evening, which is just twice a week at the moment - I guess that'd make people think we have a low sex life. But quite on the contrary, we have a pretty active sex life, when we have evening dates, we usually don't spend a lot of time dressed, and most of the time we spend in bed too, and what we don't get during the week - regarding satisfaction - we make up for during the weekends or during occasional two- or three-day-gettaways.

    My point about sex is that it's not the frequency, it's the result. Some need more, some need less - and too much isn't good either, right?

    Bruce
     
  18. madame_zora

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    Oh, I agree with that Bruster. Whatever the two of you find comfortable is the right amount! I also remember having far less libido when my daughter was young, I think it's nature's way of making sure we take care of our kids. That's not to say we didn't have sex, but it was more quality vs. quantity. Being single now means "catch as catch can" so I might seem oversexed, but that's really because I'm not getting very much. :(
     
  19. Nienna

    Nienna New Member

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    As long as the couples are happy thats the main point, I was just bringing a discusion from r/l to the boards to try and continue it.

    I mean guys "locker talk" all the time about how often they get it, why can't women do the same?
     
  20. madame_zora

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    Well then, in that spirit, I'm getting some tomorrow and I can't wait!
     
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