How soon do you realise if you are sexually compatible?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Drifterwood, Oct 30, 2009.

  1. Drifterwood

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    I was thinking of doing a poll on this one, but I need to get to do some work. So, I am being lazy, but you have to take the time to respond, rather than tick a box :tongue:.

    I am interested in all opinions from all genders and orientations.
     
  2. AlteredEgo

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    When I was single, outside of general mutual attraction, I tried to guage whether or not a man was like-minded to me with regard to gender roles and sex. I'm a sex-on-date-one type of girl. I wouldn't be on the date if I hadn't already decided sex was a viable option. This doesn't mean I tolerated disrespect, dishonesty, or bullshit. I wanted a man to still want to pursue a real friendship with me, to still value my non-sexual side, but to appreciate my sensuality, as well. I found that a man who could discuss non-sexual sensual experiences with passion and detail was more likely to be the kind of personality I sought with regard to sexual compatibility. For me, this also translated to an assumption that this type of man would have the experience, and thoughtful reflection that inspires great sexual technique. I'm tired, and not sure I've actually conveyed what I truly mean. But here it is.
     
  3. hud01

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    Sexually compatible, about 30 minutes after getting in bed with the woman.

    Sexually attracted, can vary from 5 minutes to 5 months. With some women there is an electricity there immediately. Then sometimes after being with a woman for a long time you start to notice things that make you think, hmmmmm she would be nice to sleep with.
     
  4. goodone13

    goodone13 Member

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    ditto
     
  5. D_Fiona_Farvel

    D_Fiona_Farvel Account Disabled

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    It can be an immediate *zing*, but that's rare.
    Personally, I am sexually adventuress, so within a few questions, I can usually figure out if the person is too reserved for my needs. If I am still not clear after the first communication, I'll give it a bit more time, but it should either be something that is felt within a short period or building up (which I prefer).

    I tend to not waste my time dating people that I have no chemical attraction to or a feeling that the potential exists.
     
  6. bd_de

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    I agree with everything she said, except for the part about wasting my time. It seems wasting my time is what I'm best at, LOL. I guess I'm too nice.

    Ed
     
  7. goodwood

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    I know if I'm sexually compatible with a woman as soon as we get into bed. There's no wondering about it. Either you both get an erotic charge off the other one and somehow understand what the other one wants and go for it. If sexual chemistry isn't there immediately then...NEXT! Thanks for playing. Bye-bye.
     
  8. D_Tintagel_Demondong

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    What I love about dating sites, and hook-up sites, in particular is that you can quickly guage your sexual compatibility with others. Some sites, like eHarmony, have you take compatibility tests, but these relate more to personality. Personality is important, especially when it comes to D/s relationships, but these sites with mainstream corporate sponsors don't really focus on sexual proclivity.

    Does this really help one find a sexually-compatible partner?

    As seedy as they may be, I'd go to a site that is more focused on hook-ups. When you finally find somebody who is attractive, you won't have any "honey, will you shit on me?" surprises.

    Unless, of course, you are into that.
     
  9. Bbucko

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    As I have a pretty set list of criteria for sex partners, I can qualify people in a matter of minutes of casual conversation. Once in a very great while I'll wind up with someone whom I didn't screen quite as thoroughly as I should have, and I can tell within ten minutes if the whole thing's been a waste of time or not.
     
  10. hud01

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    To give examples. With my current gf when we kiss my groin starts growing within seconds and I am hard in less than five minutes, with only kissing. I dated a pretty girl, but we took it slow. The first time we kissed seriously, I felt nothing after two minutes. Stopped seeing her soon after.

    Another positive one. While on vacation I met a girl at a bar. She was a little drunk, and leaned back into me. The way she did it got me half hard in less than a minute. Unfortunately no hookup because of lack of time, but I know that one would have been good.
     
  11. D_Cavernus Manhole

    D_Cavernus Manhole New Member

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    New it on the first date we were on and it's still getting better 11 years later.
     
  12. D_Ellerby Eatsprick

    D_Ellerby Eatsprick New Member

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    This fella and I knew it when we first started talking on MSN. We had had not met in person, but the attraction for each other from pictures, videos and conversations (both sexual / non-sexual) was very strong.

    The attraction grew animalistic as we tried to hook up but him and I were busy with work, school, and at one point, we both got very sick then he was in a car accident. So we could never play until after 4 months...

    Finally the day came. My bf let him and I play but I had to be blindfolded and I was not allowed to touch. This only made the fella and I want each other more. We played for 3.5 hours and still wanted more but the bf said it was time for him to reclaim me.

    We played again two weeks later but only for a hour despite that we could have went longer but he had a family member end up in the hospital.

    The fella and I still talk today on MSN. We have told each other that the best sex was with each other and we both feel that we have unfinished business and we know when we meet again it will be very animalistic.

    I have great sexual chemistry with my bf but the chemistry between me and this fella is very intense. Chemistry will vary with people.
     
  13. King_ding_a_ling

    King_ding_a_ling New Member

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    Like hud01 said, It just comes when it comes. With that though, I would never pass up a chance to start something with a woman that is good looking, you never know how you start feeling once you kiss someone.
     
  14. rob_just_rob

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    2 or 3 months or so.
     
  15. Principessa

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    I agree.

    Awww, that's sweet. :heart:
     
  16. Ethyl

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    When the second time happens right after the first.
     
  17. earllogjam

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    It's usually after the second or third time we have sex. It takes me a while to become fully uninhibited and fully sexually comfortable with a person then I can see if the chemistry is there. Mutual lust I have found is not common as one partner seems to be more into the other usually.

    I have had sex with some guys I thought were very attractive but then once you get in the sack they just don't feel right or are not very sensual and that initial attractiveness disappears.
     
  18. Mulattocaribe

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    I dont know others but i can know if we are compatible just right after the first kiss... i dont know how, i just know if there was a click...
     
  19. whatireallywant

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    It depends on what you mean by "sexually compatible". Attraction, often I know as soon as I see the guy for the first time. Other guys I may not be immediately attracted to, but the attraction grows as I get to know them (Although this can backfire: The Asshole was one of these latter types... first time I saw him I thought he was ugly, then I sort of got to know him and was attracted to what I thought his personality was like, and asked HIM out, then after dating him for a while, I found out he was a sexist, alcoholic asshole!)

    As for compatibility for having sex, there are two main parts of this that I can think of, although there are other considerations as well. The two main parts I can think of are size and libido compatibility.

    Size: I will know as soon as I have sex with him for the first time, although often I can tell before that when I see what size he is. Now this could work two different ways. Too small and too big. I've never been with a guy who was too big for me, though.

    Libido compatibility may take longer to determine, and can also change over time. For example, when my longest term relationship started sexually, we were more compatible. We were definitely size compatible, and somewhat libido compatible although I always did have the higher libido. However, his libido dwindled away to zero after some time, and now it's very difficult. He and I are still friends, but he no longer has any physical libido, and mine is still very high.
     
  20. Drifterwood

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    Absolutely, WIRW, and I would say that that you have the best response for what I hd in mind so far.

    Who's first, whose second? :smile:
     
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