How to approach a guy.

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by xHotxSexinessx, Nov 30, 2010.

  1. xHotxSexinessx

    xHotxSexinessx New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 9, 2007
    Messages:
    50
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    So, there's this guy who works at this bookstore near me. I've been there a lot trying to talk to him, but I haven't been able to ask him out because i'm terrible at picking up people. I'm pretty sure he's, at least, semi into me and would probably go out for coffee with me or something if I asked, but i'm still scared.

    Can someone please give me some tips on how to ask him out or at least give him my number? Something that isn't cheesy and keep in mind that he works at a book store and I don't know if he's gay/bi.
     
  2. 8060

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 1, 2008
    Messages:
    1,363
    Albums:
    3
    Likes Received:
    1,026
    Location:
    The Midwest
    Verified:
    Photo
    You didn't even need this thread, dude. You said that you're pretty sure if you ask he'll say yes. Then just ask. Forget your fear. Push it right off of your shoulder and just ask him out. The truth of the matter is that none of us can tell you what to say or do in trying to get any attention from this man. You're You and we're us. All of us have a different level of sexy within in. Your task now is to find out how cultivated your sexiness is.

    Stick to your own words. Something genuine that comes from within yourself when you speak to this guy. One lesson that I have learned in life is that it is a great turnoff to find someone physically attractive and then not after they speak their first words to you.

    Good luck. Shake it off. Ask. Get your date.
     
  3. Charles Finn

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2006
    Messages:
    2,538
    Albums:
    3
    Likes Received:
    29
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Toledo Ohio
    be honest and ask if he would like to out for coffee or a soda and go from there the worst he can say is no thanks.
    he might even say yes give it a shot you never know till you ask
     
  4. B_curiousme01

    B_curiousme01 New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 31, 2009
    Messages:
    1,079
    Likes Received:
    5
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Dreamplane
    Have you thought to ask him to recommend some books? The clerks will usually walk you to them. Take the time to study his body language. Ask him questions about the books he is recommending...easy non confrontational conversation. See what happens. I would buy a book he loves and read it. Go back in another day and tell him you loved it and would like to talk about it over coffee.
     
  5. heist

    heist New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 10, 2008
    Messages:
    131
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    13
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    At the beach. : )
    What have you guys talked about so far? Keep in mind, if you've only seen him at his workplace, he'll probably be acting differently than if he were in a different environment.
     
  6. SpeedoMike

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 19, 2007
    Messages:
    2,940
    Likes Received:
    5
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    San Francisco Bay Area
    Starbucks is open; join me after work?
     
  7. erratic

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 27, 2007
    Messages:
    4,410
    Likes Received:
    287
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Canada
    ^^^ Something like that, yeah. You need to show a bit of bravado, if only to show that you're sure you want to go do something with him. A place like Starbucks is also public, and no big commitment, which makes it a great first date spot.

    Good luck!
     
  8. xHotxSexinessx

    xHotxSexinessx New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 9, 2007
    Messages:
    50
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    That may work. The bookstore has a Starbucks right in it, but I think it closes at the same time as the bookstore, which is a little bit of a problem.
     
  9. B_Hung Jon

    B_Hung Jon New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2007
    Messages:
    5,008
    Likes Received:
    16
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Los Angeles, California
    I'm a really bad manipulator, so I don't ever have a game. I also think it's pretty dumb to try some technique. If the guy is bi, he most likely knows you're checking him out. If you like him, just smile at him when you walk into the bookstore. I was in the same position with this girl who was eyeing me whenever I walked bye where she worked. I smiled at her whenever I saw her, and nodded to her. Eventually we hooked up. I really think most people prefer to be acknowledged socially before you get into their space. The other thing is that many guys feel that they should be the aggressor, and not pay any attention to the other person's body language. It's something that many guys make a mistake doing as far as I'm concerned. I don't go along with the philosophy of 1,000 rejections in order to meet one girl or guy. Seems like a big waste of time, plus it's not great for one's self-esteem.
     
  10. erratic

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 27, 2007
    Messages:
    4,410
    Likes Received:
    287
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Canada
    Okay, how about this:

    "Hey, I wanted to go to __________ tomorrow, but don't want to go by myself. I think it'd be a lot of fun, if you're interested."

    I used to be TERRIBLE at picking people up. Just awful. Then a friend of mine was like "Just ask him to go do something fun and public with you and you guys'll figure out if you're interested in each other." It didn't always work out, but I sure got a lot more dates (and friends - it works just as well for making friends) and I met my husband that way. I thought he was out of my league (he is) but in my head I went "fuck it" and asked him if he wanted to go to an island park for the day. And it worked.

    So, if you ask me, just pick something you like doing and ask him if he's interested in joining you. And good luck!
     
  11. houtx48

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 13, 2006
    Messages:
    7,095
    Likes Received:
    35
    Gender:
    Male
    next time you get quarters from him for the arcade just say how about coffee sometime.
     
Draft saved Draft deleted