How to ask a guy out.

[lafever]

I agree with new end, if you really want this guy then leave him your number and tell him to call you when he has some free time, this takes the pressure of him so he doesn`t feel pressured into something, also so that he doesn`t jump the gun and say no to you, give him the time to think about it. This way you`ll know if he`s really into you or just being polite and trying not to hurt your feelings.:smile:


lafever

 

[hypoc8]

Does he every go on break when you're there? If so, ask him then. What's the worst thing that can happen, him saying no thank you. If he does just say "Thanks for your time" and go on. You may be surprised at his response. Go for it!

 

[Calboner]

Okay, Meg, here's something that a woman used on me once, quite successfully. You talk to the guy, you ask him about what he likes to do for fun. He is sure to mention concerts or movies or something like that -- events that one attends with other people. When he tells you what kind of thing of that nature he likes, you ask him if there is anything of the kind coming up that he is interested in.

See how it works? At this point, if the guy has any interest in going out with you at all, then, once he has told you that he would like to see such and such, he practically has to ask you out -- unless, of course, it is something that he is seeing with someone else. The neat thing is that, if the trick works, then he is the one who asks you out, so you do not have to take the big risk.

Of course, if he has no interest in going out with you or is socially retarded, he may not take the hint, and if he is miserably shy and lacking in self-confidence, he may see the opportunity and be afraid to take it. But I am pretty low in self-confidence and feeble at asking women out and it worked on me.

 

[IntoxicatingToxin]

Thanks for your help guys! We'll see if I can work up the guts to do anything about it this weekend... I'll let you know how it goes!

 

[JustAsking]

Meg,
Assuming all other things are ok, the way to a man's heart is through his ego. Start having casual conversations with him about his interests, such as music and cooking. As he finishes his last thought on the subject, be ready with another question that gets him talking about himself again. Just keep doing this and he will fall in love with you.

The beauty of this tactic is that it overcomes the problem of you both being shy and fearing rejection. You asking him questions about himself free you and him from wondering what to talk about. The questions are easy to come up with and since the subject matter is his interests, his answers will be easy for him to come up with. Your obvious interest and your questions will allow him to talk quite a while about something he knows a lot about (himself).

This is not meant to be a sarcastic suggestion. Almost everyone loves to talk about themselves and almost everyone is very moved when someone seems to be very interesting in that talk.

It works best if you resist the urge to inject yourself into the conversation. Keep it all about him. Ironically, when you do that for someone, they end up thinking that you are the interesting one even if you didn't talk about yourself in the process.

I am sure that with cooking and music in his background, you can keep this going for many evenings at which point you will be very comfortable around each other and you will feel like friends. It will be a very easy next step to suggest you meet for coffee somewhere else.

 

[IntoxicatingToxin]

Meg,
Assuming all other things are ok, the way to a man's heart is through his ego. Start having casual conversations with him about his interests, such as music and cooking. As he finishes his last thought on the subject, be ready with another question that gets him talking about himself again. Just keep doing this and he will fall in love with you.

The beauty of this tactic is that it overcomes the problem of you both being shy and fearing rejection. You asking him questions about himself free you and him from wondering what to talk about. The questions are easy to come up with and since the subject matter is his interests, his answers will be easy for him to come up with. Your obvious interest and your questions will allow him to talk quite a while about something he knows a lot about (himself).

This is not meant to be a sarcastic suggestion. Almost everyone loves to talk about themselves and almost everyone is very moved when someone seems to be very interesting in that talk.

It works best if you resist the urge to inject yourself into the conversation. Keep it all about him. Ironically, when you do that for someone, they end up thinking that you are the interesting one even if you didn't talk about yourself in the process.

I am sure that with cooking and music in his background, you can keep this going for many evenings at which point you will be very comfortable around each other and you will feel like friends. It will be a very easy next step to suggest you meet for coffee somewhere else.

You're so smart. :biggrin:

 

[SyddyKitty]

I'd have to say JA knows what he's talking about! When making new friends, I like them to ask about me. It makes things easier on me and makes me feel more open and comfortable enough to converse with them about other subjects later.

 

[Principessa]

Interesting suggestions, I've been watching this thread carefully as I have never asked a man out either. :redface: I'm going to the High Museum Saturday maybe I'll try this out then.

I am such a doofus, like I'm gonna be able to pickup straight men at a Fran Liebowitz exhibit :biggrin1: LMAO! :smile:

 

[Osiris]

Interesting suggestions, I've been watching this thread carefully as I have never asked a man out either. :redface: I'm going to the High Museum Saturday maybe I'll try this out then.

I am such a doofus, like I'm gonna be able to pickup straight men at a Fran Liebowitz exhibit :biggrin1: LMAO! :smile:

Never underestimate us patrons of fine art my sister. :wink:

 

[lafever]

Justasking,

That never worked on me, i always new from the start they were baiting me, it`s an insult to my intellegence. If he`s dumb as a bag of rocks great, if not remember there is no second chance for a first impression.


lafever

 

[JustAsking]

Justasking,

That never worked on me, i always new from the start they were baiting me, it`s an insult to my intellegence. If he`s dumb as a bag of rocks great, if not remember there is no second chance for a first impression.


lafever

I think you are right if you are really faking it. But with genuine interest, it shouldn't be off-putting. The trick is for it to not be a trick, which means you should ask questions about things that really do interest you. Its not much different than any other conversation between two people getting to know each other, but in the process you make a conscious effort to keep yourself out of the conversation and focus on the other person.

Even though I am suggesting this strategy, I know very well that if I were the guy, it would work on me no problem. Maybe I am less secure than you, lafever, or maybe I am more egotistical.

 

[lafever]

justasking,

No, i don`t think your egotistical, i worked in a night club for 10 years, remember this guy she wants to ask out is working in a bar, if he`s like me he`s heard it all. He`s stressed already from the job, when you ask him out at his job your just another needy customer that wants something. If you give him the time to relax, when he`s not at the bar, to think about calling her while he`s at home in a serene environment then it takes the customer out of the equation, then he can see her as a potential interest. When i worked at the night clubs i got hit on so much it was repetitive to the point where i wasn`t amused anymore, i`d be nice just to get the tips, especially if i had to bartend. She has to seperate herself from the rest of the competition, that way she stands out, thus her chances are greately increased.


lafever

 

[Principessa]

Meg, I know this will sound sexist; but when in doubt smile prettily, show cleavage, and bat your eyelashes. You may attract too many men; but then you get to separate the wheat from the chaff.:wink:

 

[lafever]

njgt466,

Very good advice, showing cleavage always gets my attention, i`m half wolf. :smile: In the past i`ve put other customers off just to see the twins.


lafever

 

[biguy2738]

Meggifer you've gotten some great advice in this thread.

There's just one bit more that I'd like to add. When you put whichever approach you deem fit to use, BE YOURSELF. The biggest selling factor that you can use in order to encourage him to go out with you, is YOU!
You are one of the kindest, sweetest love bugs that I know, so while you're looking at the "marketing" don't forget about the "product" - if he has any kind of intelligence, he wouldn't need "encouraging" because he'd want to grab you with both hands and shower you with affection.

The very worst that can happen is that he says "no". Now I know and hopefully you do too that if that is the case, then he certainly doesn't deserve someone as beautiful as you in his life.

All of the best my sweety! Mwah!

 

[JustAsking]

justasking,

No, i don`t think your egotistical, i worked in a night club for 10 years, remember this guy she wants to ask out is working in a bar, if he`s like me he`s heard it all. He`s stressed already from the job, when you ask him out at his job your just another needy customer that wants something. If you give him the time to relax, when he`s not at the bar, to think about calling her while he`s at home in a serene environment then it takes the customer out of the equation, then he can see her as a potential interest. When i worked at the night clubs i got hit on so much it was repetitive to the point where i wasn`t amused anymore, i`d be nice just to get the tips, especially if i had to bartend. She has to seperate herself from the rest of the competition, that way she stands out, thus her chances are greately increased.


lafever

Yes, I see what you mean. I didn't figure on the bar-worker angle. Lots of needy people there hitting on you every night. Meg, you might want to listen to what lefever has to say.

 

[Osiris]

Meg, I know this will sound sexist; but when in doubt smile prettily, show cleavage, and bat your eyelashes. You may attract too many men; but then you get to separate the wheat from the chaff.:wink:

The name is Wheat, Buckwheat! (insert James Bond theme here)

NJ, you speak true yet again.

 

[IntoxicatingToxin]

Meggifer you've gotten some great advice in this thread.

There's just one bit more that I'd like to add. When you put whichever approach you deem fit to use, BE YOURSELF. The biggest selling factor that you can use in order to encourage him to go out with you, is YOU!
You are one of the kindest, sweetest love bugs that I know, so while you're looking at the "marketing" don't forget about the "product" - if he has any kind of intelligence, he wouldn't need "encouraging" because he'd want to grab you with both hands and shower you with affection.

The very worst that can happen is that he says "no". Now I know and hopefully you do too that if that is the case, then he certainly doesn't deserve someone as beautiful as you in his life.

All of the best my sweety! Mwah!

I absolutely love that you called me a "love bug". :biggrin: Thank you for your advice!

Yes, I see what you mean. I didn't figure on the bar-worker angle. Lots of needy people there hitting on you every night. Meg, you might want to listen to what lefever has to say.

Yeah, he has a good point. Hrm.

 

[Act2_Begins_Now]

Meg, I know this will sound sexist; but when in doubt smile prettily, show cleavage, and bat your eyelashes. You may attract too many men; but then you get to separate the wheat from the chaff

For me this would be the way that I would ask a guy out, I don't believe I could ever boldly ask one out.

 

[D_Al_K_Celtzah]

I could definately identify myself with that guy. Sounds just like me some years ago (before my girlfriend actualy made the move :tongue: )

Based on what you've said, TatooedMama, I think Chris is REALLY into you too, only he is too shy to take a chance. If I'm correct, all it will take is some encouragement, meaning you should ask him out. And, when you do, make sure you'll have plenty of time for your date, so you'll have enough to start feeling comfortable with each other.
After that, just let things happen naturally. If you see that his conversation makes him sound interested, but he isn't taking any chances, try giving him some physical hints, i.e., body contact: touch his hand, run it over his arm, or cheek. One great way to do that without looking pushy is to dance with him. That way you two MUST be close, otherwhise it's not dancing :biggrin1: .

Now, please, this is just my suggestion based on what I've read from your post. You'll have to work along the lines he "gives" you and don't take what I said for granted.

Anyway, I hope it helped :smile: good luck:wink: