How to be a great top

ModernSatyr

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Hey guys. I have a beautiful boyfriend who is super keen for me to top him. He is amazing and I love fucking him but it’s early days and I’m a bit rusty (I’ve been a side for the past twenty years, although I was a pretty good top in my teens and early twenties). I want all your advice, tips, ideas, favourite positions, anything and everything. I want to give him all the pleasure I’m capable of.
 

knowit

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First things first you have a great dick, so you have a great tool to work with. You do have a big cock head though so be gentle as you're going in ;)

My style for being a great top is to be responsive to how the bottom reacts - and it will help you find the right angle, stroke length, and speed to make him feel amazing, and how to change it throughout to keep edging him closer.

Otherwise I start with a lot of foreplay, bit of head, and find the spots that drive him wild - maybe neck/collarbones or even the back of the neck, nipples, fingers down the spine - and find a way to grind against his dick a bit, or even better you can flip him over and grind against his ass while grinding his dick into the bed. Let the foreplay lead to your dick getting closer and closer to his hole - make him start to crave your dick, his body will start to respond and start opening up for you.

If he's not a regular bottom, i'd recommend opening him up with a finger then maybe two, helps to get the lube going in the right spots too, and for him to feel comfortable with you inside. If he's enjoying it to, you can use it to find the spot / prostate, sometimes described as walnut-sized but I dunno I just think of it as the back of the dick, same sort of firmness as a boner too. Soft, circular motions on this spot, and see if he likes it super gentle, or some decent pressure - more intel for later.

Then when he's craving your dick, give it to him - but not all of it straight away - I like to leave an inch or two as a surprise. Plus sometimes I feel like the good spot starts only a small way in and gets deeper as the bottom gets more excited - not everyone but some people. Then once you're getting going, find all those spots you found during foreplay to make his whole body feel good while he's feeling your dick in his ass. If it's feeling good for you, don't forget to show it - he'll love knowing his hole is making you feel good too.

Otherwise, maybe he wants to be in control, in which case let him jump on you and slide down, and then just buck every now and again to not make it too easy for him to stay in control :p

Few other tricks in my bag
- once he's good and open, going balls deep and grinding his ass against your dick (sometimes you don't need a lot of thrusting to drive him wild).
- don't forget to throw in some different angles - imagine trying to slide the head of your dick across the back of his dick
- throw in the occasional hard thrust to send waves of pleasure through him - too much or to hard though might tip over into pain which is bad
- not just back and forth, but side to side or around in a circle - but only if he's the kind of bottom who like to feel his hole being stretched
- if he's dom, let yourself go with pleasure and tell him when you're getting close so he can play with edging you with his ass
- if he's sub, see if he responds well to a little gentle hair tug, or take him from behind and push his head into a pillow, or hold his arms behind his back

Then don't forget to speed up slowly and go wild when he's about to cum. I'm lucky in that an orgasm is one of my biggest turn ons so if he cums, it usually makes me cum too.

Best of luck and enjoy yourselves :p
 

ModernSatyr

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First things first you have a great dick, so you have a great tool to work with. You do have a big cock head though so be gentle as you're going in ;)

My style for being a great top is to be responsive to how the bottom reacts - and it will help you find the right angle, stroke length, and speed to make him feel amazing, and how to change it throughout to keep edging him closer.

Otherwise I start with a lot of foreplay, bit of head, and find the spots that drive him wild - maybe neck/collarbones or even the back of the neck, nipples, fingers down the spine - and find a way to grind against his dick a bit, or even better you can flip him over and grind against his ass while grinding his dick into the bed. Let the foreplay lead to your dick getting closer and closer to his hole - make him start to crave your dick, his body will start to respond and start opening up for you.

If he's not a regular bottom, i'd recommend opening him up with a finger then maybe two, helps to get the lube going in the right spots too, and for him to feel comfortable with you inside. If he's enjoying it to, you can use it to find the spot / prostate, sometimes described as walnut-sized but I dunno I just think of it as the back of the dick, same sort of firmness as a boner too. Soft, circular motions on this spot, and see if he likes it super gentle, or some decent pressure - more intel for later.

Then when he's craving your dick, give it to him - but not all of it straight away - I like to leave an inch or two as a surprise. Plus sometimes I feel like the good spot starts only a small way in and gets deeper as the bottom gets more excited - not everyone but some people. Then once you're getting going, find all those spots you found during foreplay to make his whole body feel good while he's feeling your dick in his ass. If it's feeling good for you, don't forget to show it - he'll love knowing his hole is making you feel good too.

Otherwise, maybe he wants to be in control, in which case let him jump on you and slide down, and then just buck every now and again to not make it too easy for him to stay in control :p

Few other tricks in my bag
- once he's good and open, going balls deep and grinding his ass against your dick (sometimes you don't need a lot of thrusting to drive him wild).
- don't forget to throw in some different angles - imagine trying to slide the head of your dick across the back of his dick
- throw in the occasional hard thrust to send waves of pleasure through him - too much or to hard though might tip over into pain which is bad
- not just back and forth, but side to side or around in a circle - but only if he's the kind of bottom who like to feel his hole being stretched
- if he's dom, let yourself go with pleasure and tell him when you're getting close so he can play with edging you with his ass
- if he's sub, see if he responds well to a little gentle hair tug, or take him from behind and push his head into a pillow, or hold his arms behind his back

Then don't forget to speed up slowly and go wild when he's about to cum. I'm lucky in that an orgasm is one of my biggest turn ons so if he cums, it usually makes me cum too.

Best of luck and enjoy yourselves :p
This is fucking amazing! Thank you so much!
 

Ohheli

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First things first you have a great dick, so you have a great tool to work with. You do have a big cock head though so be gentle as you're going in ;)

My style for being a great top is to be responsive to how the bottom reacts - and it will help you find the right angle, stroke length, and speed to make him feel amazing, and how to change it throughout to keep edging him closer.

Otherwise I start with a lot of foreplay, bit of head, and find the spots that drive him wild - maybe neck/collarbones or even the back of the neck, nipples, fingers down the spine - and find a way to grind against his dick a bit, or even better you can flip him over and grind against his ass while grinding his dick into the bed. Let the foreplay lead to your dick getting closer and closer to his hole - make him start to crave your dick, his body will start to respond and start opening up for you.

If he's not a regular bottom, i'd recommend opening him up with a finger then maybe two, helps to get the lube going in the right spots too, and for him to feel comfortable with you inside. If he's enjoying it to, you can use it to find the spot / prostate, sometimes described as walnut-sized but I dunno I just think of it as the back of the dick, same sort of firmness as a boner too. Soft, circular motions on this spot, and see if he likes it super gentle, or some decent pressure - more intel for later.

Then when he's craving your dick, give it to him - but not all of it straight away - I like to leave an inch or two as a surprise. Plus sometimes I feel like the good spot starts only a small way in and gets deeper as the bottom gets more excited - not everyone but some people. Then once you're getting going, find all those spots you found during foreplay to make his whole body feel good while he's feeling your dick in his ass. If it's feeling good for you, don't forget to show it - he'll love knowing his hole is making you feel good too.

Otherwise, maybe he wants to be in control, in which case let him jump on you and slide down, and then just buck every now and again to not make it too easy for him to stay in control :p

Few other tricks in my bag
- once he's good and open, going balls deep and grinding his ass against your dick (sometimes you don't need a lot of thrusting to drive him wild).
- don't forget to throw in some different angles - imagine trying to slide the head of your dick across the back of his dick
- throw in the occasional hard thrust to send waves of pleasure through him - too much or to hard though might tip over into pain which is bad
- not just back and forth, but side to side or around in a circle - but only if he's the kind of bottom who like to feel his hole being stretched
- if he's dom, let yourself go with pleasure and tell him when you're getting close so he can play with edging you with his ass
- if he's sub, see if he responds well to a little gentle hair tug, or take him from behind and push his head into a pillow, or hold his arms behind his back

Then don't forget to speed up slowly and go wild when he's about to cum. I'm lucky in that an orgasm is one of my biggest turn ons so if he cums, it usually makes me cum too.

Best of luck and enjoy yourselves :p
Great advice
 

Ohheli

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Great advice
First things first you have a great dick, so you have a great tool to work with. You do have a big cock head though so be gentle as you're going in ;)

My style for being a great top is to be responsive to how the bottom reacts - and it will help you find the right angle, stroke length, and speed to make him feel amazing, and how to change it throughout to keep edging him closer.

Otherwise I start with a lot of foreplay, bit of head, and find the spots that drive him wild - maybe neck/collarbones or even the back of the neck, nipples, fingers down the spine - and find a way to grind against his dick a bit, or even better you can flip him over and grind against his ass while grinding his dick into the bed. Let the foreplay lead to your dick getting closer and closer to his hole - make him start to crave your dick, his body will start to respond and start opening up for you.

If he's not a regular bottom, i'd recommend opening him up with a finger then maybe two, helps to get the lube going in the right spots too, and for him to feel comfortable with you inside. If he's enjoying it to, you can use it to find the spot / prostate, sometimes described as walnut-sized but I dunno I just think of it as the back of the dick, same sort of firmness as a boner too. Soft, circular motions on this spot, and see if he likes it super gentle, or some decent pressure - more intel for later.

Then when he's craving your dick, give it to him - but not all of it straight away - I like to leave an inch or two as a surprise. Plus sometimes I feel like the good spot starts only a small way in and gets deeper as the bottom gets more excited - not everyone but some people. Then once you're getting going, find all those spots you found during foreplay to make his whole body feel good while he's feeling your dick in his ass. If it's feeling good for you, don't forget to show it - he'll love knowing his hole is making you feel good too.

Otherwise, maybe he wants to be in control, in which case let him jump on you and slide down, and then just buck every now and again to not make it too easy for him to stay in control :p

Few other tricks in my bag
- once he's good and open, going balls deep and grinding his ass against your dick (sometimes you don't need a lot of thrusting to drive him wild).
- don't forget to throw in some different angles - imagine trying to slide the head of your dick across the back of his dick
- throw in the occasional hard thrust to send waves of pleasure through him - too much or to hard though might tip over into pain which is bad
- not just back and forth, but side to side or around in a circle - but only if he's the kind of bottom who like to feel his hole being stretched
- if he's dom, let yourself go with pleasure and tell him when you're getting close so he can play with edging you with his ass
- if he's sub, see if he responds well to a little gentle hair tug, or take him from behind and push his head into a pillow, or hold his arms behind his back

Then don't forget to speed up slowly and go wild when he's about to cum. I'm lucky in that an orgasm is one of my biggest turn ons so if he cums, it usually makes me cum too.

Best of luck and enjoy yourselves :p
You seem to be a person who is good at giving advice, so.. Maybe you can give me a solution to my problem too?

I have a bit of problem. When I was fucking my boyfriend, and he request to cum inside him, it's like the hardest things to do, I feel the pleasure of fucking him but to cum inside him, it's one thing I find struggling with. I don't know why, so then I talk to him that to came outside of him. Fortunately he understand about it well and we got no problem about it. But still, Sometimes I'm disappointed with myself because I can't grant his request. Do you have any advice? Is it possible because the duration of foreplay is too fast that causes this? Or anything...

I actually prefer handjobs and blowjobs rather than fucking. Since it was my fetish. And he is great on sucking, For his handjob skills, he's good with dry stroking. But when he jacked me off with lube, He often touch my sensitive area which is the front face of the head, and It actually makes me want to pee rather than orgasm. My fetish is actually getting handjobs by someone till i cum but with him, I can only do it myself ahaha.

Maybe I should've talk about this with him? Or keep it myself?
 
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Andrej_u

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Very good advice above!
As a top, I would like to add this advice.
1) Unless your boyfriend has a somewhat easy hole to penetrate, the most important moment is the beginning. The first minute decides whether it will be painful the day after for him or not. So be particularly gentle at the start. This leads to point 2, which is mostly important if his hole is tight or inexperienced, and harder to relax, and in that case I also agree with using fingers and/or dildos.
2) Understand and see how your erection works.
  • Do you get hard and stay hard easily? Then have him sit on your dick.
  • Is your erection a bit more situational, like mine? Then it's probably easier to do doggy or missionary.
  • This is how I stay hard while being gentle, or while putting on the condom:
A) Do something you like while doing something that needs your focus. E.g. eat his ass while you put the condom on, or look at his dick or make out with him while you're pushing your dick on his hole for it to relax.
B) Hold your dick at the base with your fingers, basically creating a virtual cockring, to keep it harder while you're teasing his hole for it to relax.
C) He shouldn't touch his dick much when you're trying to enter. The temptation is strong, but there is one pelvic muscle: if he jerks off, he clenches his hole at the same time, and that's not handy.
3) Communicate! Topping requires concentration, but don't neglect him and viceversa. If you end up overthinking, if your erection falls, if you're worried about hurting him, if you get frustrated because it doesn't go in... Talk to him. Share the burden, you're in it together. In my experience, the moment I stop being "proud" and admit that sometimes I struggle being hard... Is the moment when I get very hard.

You got this!
 

knowit

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You seem to be a person who is good at giving advice, so.. Maybe you can give me a solution to my problem too?

I have a bit of problem. When I was fucking my boyfriend, and he request to cum inside him, it's like the hardest things to do, I feel the pleasure of fucking him but to cum inside him, it's one thing I find struggling with. I don't know why, so then I talk to him that to came outside of him. Fortunately he understand about it well and we got no problem about it. But still, Sometimes I'm disappointed with myself because I can't grant his request. Do you have any advice? Is it possible because the duration of foreplay is too fast that causes this? Or anything...

I actually prefer handjobs and blowjobs rather than fucking. Since it was my fetish. And he is great on sucking, For his handjob skills, he's good with dry stroking. But when he jacked me off with lube, He often touch my sensitive area which is the front face of the head, and It actually makes me want to pee rather than orgasm. My fetish is actually getting handjobs by someone till i cum but with him, I can only do it myself ahaha.

Maybe I should've talk about this with him? Or keep it myself?

Ah man, that sounds like a lot going on. Apologies, I don't know if I can help here.

I feel qualified to provide a perspective on how to top, cause I can draw from my own experiences and what's worked for me (and the bottoms I've been with).

This situation seems pretty specific and isn't something I have experience with - so I definitely don't feel qualified. Sorry man.
 
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Andrej_u

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You seem to be a person who is good at giving advice, so.. Maybe you can give me a solution to my problem too?

I have a bit of problem. When I was fucking my boyfriend, and he request to cum inside him, it's like the hardest things to do, I feel the pleasure of fucking him but to cum inside him, it's one thing I find struggling with. I don't know why, so then I talk to him that to came outside of him. Fortunately he understand about it well and we got no problem about it. But still, Sometimes I'm disappointed with myself because I can't grant his request. Do you have any advice? Is it possible because the duration of foreplay is too fast that causes this? Or anything...

I actually prefer handjobs and blowjobs rather than fucking. Since it was my fetish. And he is great on sucking, For his handjob skills, he's good with dry stroking. But when he jacked me off with lube, He often touch my sensitive area which is the front face of the head, and It actually makes me want to pee rather than orgasm. My fetish is actually getting handjobs by someone till i cum but with him, I can only do it myself ahaha.

Maybe I should've talk about this with him? Or keep it myself?
I highlighted the key part. You answered yourself already :) you're mostly a side, it's normal that you have a harder time cumming while you're doing something which is not your favourite.
I'm not a side and I really love ass, I am the opposite: I have a hard time cumming during a blowjob or handjob, but a much easier time during anal, so I understand you, I'm your mirror image :D.

Yes, you should absolutely have an open communication with your bf about your own sexual fantasies, just like he did when he told you he'd like you to cum inside him. No, you don't have to completely fulfill all of each other's fantasies, but it's definitely worth trying, while knowing that no one is a 100% match, sexually.

More specifically: how do you get to cum more easily inside his ass? First of all, by sharing with him the "burden" that it is a bit difficult for you to do it. Get the weight off your chest, and you'll have more energy to dedicate to sex, while feeling less "judged".
Secondly: try pairing anal sex with something more in your fantasies. An example that applies to me (remember I'm your opposite): if I'm receiving a blowjob and I'm asked to cum in his mouth... It really helps me if I grope or eat his ass in the meantime. Low effort (it's unlikely that a guy really minds a hand on his butt), high reward (much better blowjob, cum in his mouth).

In your case, what could you pair with anal? Is it an option that you fuck his ass, then you fuck his hand for a bit, then his ass again? Go back and forth a few times from ass to handjob until your dick is ready to explode?
 
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Hey guys. I have a beautiful boyfriend who is super keen for me to top him. He is amazing and I love fucking him but it’s early days and I’m a bit rusty (I’ve been a side for the past twenty years, although I was a pretty good top in my teens and early twenties). I want all your advice, tips, ideas, favourite positions, anything and everything. I want to give him all the pleasure I’m capable of.
its simple as this - rimming, rimming, and just rimming. Before embracing the fact that I have big dick (idk why but growing up I always thought I was small), I figured I need to have all other talents and skills ready, so rimming and fingers were my first station, when i perfected those and realized that bottoms just need prostate stimulation