How to be a HUNG exhibitionist

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Falcon9, Jan 21, 2007.

  1. Falcon9

    Falcon9 New Member

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    How to be HUNG exhibitionist: thoughts about putting on a show...

    I have a habit of posting naked pics of myself. Of all the habits on this planet, this does not seem like the most unhealthy one, but I often wonder what lead me to do this... why it continues... what it takes to be an exhibitionist and what is beneath the surface...

    I originally came to this site because I was anticipating a thrill at seeing the pics here (both women and men sharing themselves) and posting my own... It is hot to find a place like this to share these kinds of things and to hear from both the appreciative women and other guys with similar pics being shared. I then started reading posts and threads and saw that many are also exchanging other kinds of things; a lot of humor, wit, playfulness, advice and support.


    Some here never post, some just read, some just look at pics... But I'm realizing it possible to share a lot more than just the hard pics you've been seeing in the gallery. Maybe others wonder about those who like to post their naked pics... I have a few ideas to share, possibly a confession of sorts.

    A serious subject: I was reading a thread here tonight about those who had lost friends to aids. It made me sad to read the posts and it reminded me of when I lived in New York City years ago during the beginning stages of the epidemic. As a very young guy, I was so afraid to have sex back then when so little was known. I was younger, early 20's and all I could do at the time was work out in a gym and stare at guys. I was eventually in a relationship but that too was nearly sterile from all the fear that was everywhere at that time. Eventually, after working out... I would show off my large cock in the locker room or steam room. That was kind of like having "safe sex" and it got me lots of attention as you might imagine...

    As a survival tactic, I had picked up this "safe" habit of avoiding any real (possibly life-theatening) intimacy because I was so scared of catching something back then, while others were losing their lovers and friends in such large numbers. (This goes back to a time just before reliable hiv testing, when I didn't know if I was neg or pos, and before any of the cocktail meds.) So for a few years, I had found this safe form of release. Many others seemed to be in a similar pattern. And I think even to this day, my habit of "showing off" stems from the intense experiences I had while trying to survive during the beginning of the epidemic, square in the middle of the New York City epicenter.

    As a side note, I am also a visual artist. I have found that many artists create "self portraits." And many artists create "fantasy" in their works. I do this too and use a high-resolution camera to accomplish this. But I am not so sure some of this is "art." ( I like hearing once in a while that the pics are in some ways artistic, I try to make images that are more than just simple anatomy.)

    I am also not so sure it is some kind of character defect, although I read once that both exhibitionism and voyeurism are part of the same illness... a fear of achieving real intimacy, and at the core of this; a fear of rejection. (hmmm...) But it might just be in our nature to be curious and to participate in some kind of nature display...

    I am wondering now after all the naked pic posting here, why am I doing this, what am I possibly avoiding... is it just a "habit," maybe some sort of creative outlet, or something that requires a deeper understanding. Aids is unfortunately not over, but somehow, with help from above, I have survived. I was exclusively "gay" during my younger years. Over time, as some fears went away, I was able to explore a bisexual side. ( I used to be afraid women would reject me with a mostly gay past but learned that this fear was one I had made up for myself, that did not serve me. I've since dated women and had girlfriends and am very comfortable with my ability to enjoy both sexes to various degrees...I would not change this.)

    The question then of what makes (or breaks) an exhibitionist... I know many here at LPSG have enjoyed the recent pics and I really am glad to have the feedback. But I also wonder if it is time to stop the games. Maybe it is something to outgrow.

    Thanks for reading... I wonder if others have any thoughts on this, if others also question the meaning of exhibitionism and voyeurism. Thanks for any helpful insights you can share.
     
  2. EFH33

    EFH33 Member

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    Dude... If you enjoy it then keep doing it. I think the reason you started doing it was a way for you to be sexual without being intimate, and you found out something inside you that was there. Exhibitionism is a part of you now. It's something that gets you off, and it IS safe, so you're not hurting anyone.
     
  3. Falcon9

    Falcon9 New Member

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    I agree, and thanks for the reply. It remains a safe kind of activity, noone is getting hurt, in fact, I'm often inspired to keep my bod in shape from the warm comments I receive. There are a lot of ways to view this kind of thing I guess.

    I am curious, though, about other member's experiences and realizations about their own posting and sharing of x-pics, if anyone else might have had similar realizations or taken time to find some deeper answers.
     
  4. Yorkie

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    I think all this soul searching is a result of reading the opinion of someone who regards exhibitionism as an illness.Possibly the writer meant illegal public nudity - not posting pics on an adult website.
    If people enjoy your pics and you enjoy posting them why stop?
    Everyone likes to get compliments,I don't think there's anything ''deep'' to understand there.I'd say the time to stop is when the compliments stop.
     
  5. Falcon9

    Falcon9 New Member

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    Thank you Yorkie... I think you are right (so far, so good when it comes to the compliments here)... I asked these questions (of myself) years ago and was left with the idea that anonymous sex, exhibitionism, etc, were all ways of avoiding being truly intimate with a partner. I think this is still true to a degree, but since I am able to be intimate I guess I am left wondering what purpose it serves now. I think EFH33 is also correct to say it is just a part of me and luckily I found out more about myself later in life so it is like a left over kind of habit.

    still not sure what it really represents, but some have said to me a cock like this one here SHOULD be seen!
     
  6. B_Think_Kink

    B_Think_Kink New Member

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    I can agree with this, a few minutes ago was the first time I check out your pictures... and my jaw dropped...
     
  7. Falcon9

    Falcon9 New Member

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    and your pics, Think_Kink, just made me forget what I was questioning here!
     
  8. D_Martin van Burden

    D_Martin van Burden Account Disabled

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    I almost thing the title of this thread is misleading, as it doesn't elicit the type of soul-searching -- which I'm proud to read, by the way -- that you're doing here.

    I think there's a time and a place for people to try to figure out what they're into. I just wish I could see more potential with exhibitionism, that is, the practical answer to "What is it for, anyway?" It's a bit of a rush when you're in the moment, but I don't know what else you could do with that energy other than jacking off in remembering how someone responded to you.

    For me, I admit that I enjoyed some degree of getting my size admired, but it was primarily based in showing that I have a legitimate size to be of membership here (not that you need it, thus, it has already been established). I think I take compliments well, but I don't need 'em as much as I might have back when I was less confident in myself.

    I know I'm well-endowed and I feel good about it, and that's just fine for me. I don't need to get that validated from someone else. And while the "ahh" factor is nice, it's not necessary.

    I think people who adore being exhibitionists simply don't care. The "ahh" is good enough and they're not going to question it. Some people take it to a bit more troublesome degree when they elicit that "aah" in more inappropriate ways, and thus you get into people who flash and what not. It's a spectrum of behavior. Just because you don't care as much about getting that praise doesn't mean you don't appreciate it when you can. Hell, I imagine you can conduct yourself like normal in a locker room and you'll have some eyes checking you out. Smile and walk proud.
     
  9. B_Think_Kink

    B_Think_Kink New Member

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    On another thought, you have a really cute belly button! *laughs* Just noticed that :p
     
  10. Principessa

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    Hmmm, just read Yorkies comments so I may have a slightly better understanding of your reflective mood.

    Ignore whoever said whatever.

    My mom has always been an exhibitionist. This is why she hates drop in guests. It means she has to put on clothes :tongue:. Guess what? She's 76 and still strutting about the house in all her nude glory whenever she pleases. She had a tummy tuck at 67 and still looks damn good too. :biggrin1:

    I LOVE your pics as my numerous comments in the past show.
    Please don't let someone else's ultra conservative opinion stop you from sharing your pics with the rest of us.
     
  11. Falcon9

    Falcon9 New Member

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    Thanks DeeBlackthorne... I was just thinking the same thing after seeing some of the replies here tonight... you are right, there are varying degrees of being an exhibitionist for sure... and the internet makes it way too easy for some of us "amateurs" to get in on it... but in this electronic world, intimacy with one's self can sometimes be lost. I wonder about this too. As you said, it is not that we need to be reminded or praised for the size we carry, although it feels good to hear, it is important then to just keep things in moderation I suppose. I try to do this too even though some are always asking me to email them more of my pics... (the curse of being extra-hung)
     
  12. Falcon9

    Falcon9 New Member

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    njqt466! That is a riot, thanks for sharing, I wonder what I'll be doing at that age! Thanks for the warm words too!
     
  13. Sergeant_Torpedo

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    HardGuard - an interesting self critique. I would not over psychologize this; it isn't an illness, though it is certainly anti social if foisted upon others. We order our lives within certain rules. Sex is unique in that it is only really acceptable if consensual, other aspects of our lives are controlled for us by political forces. Curiosity is only natural, cultures throughout time have held nudity as healthy within context. But nudity is not necessarily always sexual. Enjoy your interests and disposition and do not have any regrets or angst about it. Thanks for such an articulate and intelligent thread.
     
  14. Falcon9

    Falcon9 New Member

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    Thank you Sergeant, I appreciate being taken seriously here (after being mostly just a piece of meat in the gallery.) I thought maybe my pic posting was taking me away from other, more productive activities but what else is there at this hour? television? I like that I have this kind of outlet at lpsg, it still feels like unexplored territory.
     
  15. Hryblkone

    Hryblkone New Member

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    Like Dee I misinterpreted this thread but I totally I understand HardGuard's situation. Although I was very horny and interested in sex in my teens I could never establish an intimate relationship with anyone. I was too aware of STDs, pregnancy, homophobia, and I had major body issues. I didn't engage in sex (some occasional blowjobs) until I was 21 yo! Unlike HardGuard I'm on a different end of the scale (check out any of my posts). At first I thought it was social unnacceptable behavior or the byproduct of post-traumatic stress. Slowly I began to realize from others' experiences online that it is a healthy expression and can burn off some of that extra energy. I am aware that nudity is acceptable as long as it's in the appropriate place at the appropriate time. I'm just more likely to drop trou if I'm walking through Central Park's rambles at 2am than a Giants football game. Whoever has given a you a hard time (pun not intended) over your personal activities needs to shut up and leave you alone! Your work is impressive and whatever you do is your business. You live in Florida where having a beautiful body is a prerequiste and you see more flesh everywhere! If you truly believe you are wasting your time taking and posting these pics then you have already recognized the situation and it is up to you to modify your behavior. It's only when you put yourself or people in jeopardy that it becomes a problem. All the best.
     
  16. Industrialsize

    Staff Member Moderator Gold Member

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    I wish I had something deep and meaningful to say but all I've got is what's in my head. First: I wish more people did the kind of self examination you're doing. The world would be a much better place. For me, i was always the skinny gay guy that got tormented growing up. I know now that those wounds go VERY deep and probably affect me to this day.I think posting pictures on various websites(too many to list) and then receiving positive feedback in some convoluted way helps assuage those wounds.I think it becomes a problem when these activities BECOME your whole life and that they are all that you think about. For me, LPSG is just a small part of a rich and fulfilling life I've built for myself.I've been with the same man since i was 20! I'm 45 so that's 25 years. Believe it or not the time i spend on LPSG and other websites is an aphrodisiac for me. I see hot pics. I chat with folk about hot picks. i know people are lookin at my pics. it all adds up to increasing my libido and improves the sex life i have with my partned. And yes after 25 years we still get off on each other and play nookie! I can't say I wouldn't be horribly dissappointed if you left hardguard, but you do what's best for you. Reading your post has made me want to know more about the man behind the pictures even more. It takes a lot of balls to expose your feelings like that

    all the best Buddy!
     
  17. Matthew

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    HardGuard - I agree with the others. There's nothing unhealthy or immature about sharing one's talents with other people in ways that many others enjoy - and that's really all you are doing. You might be better served to ask yourself where the messages are coming from that make you feel guilty about doing it, or that it is something you need to "outgrow." The only problem I could see would be if it was impeding "real-life" relationships for you, and you said it was not. So I say keep having fun with it!

    PS: PLEASE don't stop showing off! :biggrin1:
     
  18. Yorkie

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    Just another thought I had about the guy who wrote about exhibitionism being ''an illness...a fear of real intimacy...a fear of rejection''.
    How would he explain John and Yoko's ''Two Virgins'' album sleeve?
    They were about as intimate as two people can get. :cool:
     
  19. Dorset

    Dorset New Member

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    I'm very much like this too, I'm a terrible exibitionist (especially in the gym). As much as I like to say it's a harmless thing I know deep down that there are self-confidence issues behind it; always looking for reassurance that I'm big. I don't particularly enjoying being looked at, sometimes it even makes me uncomfortable, but I still make sure I'm open for all to see.

    The human mind is too complicated to work out its reasoning which is why I'm trying to kill it with alcohol :biggrin1:
     
  20. Falcon9

    Falcon9 New Member

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    The messages above have been helpful. Thank you for writing! I agree with Industrialsize, the time spent here at lpsg is often like an aphrodisiac... it feels good to be seen as something sexy, a kickback from the effort I put into posting pics. Matthew also helps to pinpoint the question... if this is possibly a "guilt" thing that I am feeling. My answer honestly is no. So that makes me think about what IS at the root of this concern about (relatively mild) exhibitionism... and that question has to do with time. We have a short amount of it here on this earth. The question is really: "Is this a good use of my time or not?" It seems to be for me at the moment. This could change. But for now, especially after opening up this discussion and finding some very sane, helpful and friendly comments, it seems like a good use of time.

    Yorkie, an interesting point. John and Yoko were exhibitionists making an interesting statement at the time, and they were, by all reports, very close at that time. But there was a commercial side to it too, let's not forget. Many entertainers show skin and reap the profits. I am sure you can think of others. I'm not ALL about making money, in fact, I probably lose money paying for internet service and posting pics. So the value of being an exhibitionist (for free) on line is an issue in this sense. I couldn't think to charge for it as I am pretty sure that falls into another catagory. btw: The part I read about exhibitionism/voyeurism being part of the same illness was in the context of these fantasy activities preventing an individual from having a more fulfilling life... that they are sometimes seen as addictive behaviors. So like you say, if I am having fun with it, AND my life is fulfilling, then no reason to worry so. I guess what I question is: could my life be MORE fulfilling... I am still weighing this one out.

    Dorset, not sure how to respond to what you wrote above, alcohol can be a fun escape for some, addictive too. I hope you weren't being too serious here. You are right though, self-esteem is often at the core of all of this... how do we feel about ourselves, how do we create a bit of self-assurance. Exhibitionism can be fun, it is healthier than substance abuse. There have been times I really needed the attention I was getting. I first started posting not long ago (on another site) after a relationship went bad, it kind of helped me to feel energized again. Then it changed, I simply enjoyed it for what it was, a novelty to share x-rated personal pics on line with friendly comments from near and far. Now I am at the crossroads of having been there and done that...
     
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