How to become a total Prick.

[D_Alastair Pisspoore]

A lot of people who say that they're "nice" are actually people who are extremely sensitive to other people's opinions of them, so they bend over backwards trying to make other people like them. That's not really being a nice person. That's being a person who doesn't have a strong enough personality or character to be themselves regardless of what other people think or how they react and who is easily hurt.

I agree with 100% on that comment. In reality people who are "nice" aren't being themselves, and other people can sense that.

The only people that we should care about are our family and close friends, everyone else should just be treated with indifference.

 

[petite]

I agree with 100% on that comment. In reality people who are "nice" aren't being themselves, and other people can sense that.

That's not what I meant at all!

I didn't say that all people who are nice aren't really nice, I meant that a lot of people who call themselves nice are just behaving in a particular way hoping to be rewarded by being thought of well, which means that their behavior is just social pandering and not a result of high personal standards regarding one's own behavior.

If you are only being nice because you think that you'll be rewarded somehow, then you really aren't a nice person, you are employing a strategy in the hopes of making certain social gains, and that's not really being nice.

You definitely can be nice and be yourself, as long as you're motivated by your own personal code of conduct and not because you think by behaving in a "nice" way will make someone else like you. If you're just trying your hardest to make other people like you, then that means you'll change the way that you behave in order to be pleasing, and people who do that are just as susceptible to behaving in "not nice" ways if they think that it's also behavior that will garner approval.

The only people that we should care about are our family and close friends, everyone else should just be treated with indifference.

I can't disagree with this strongly enough!

 

[Pitbull]

Ok... So, it seems that all nice guys get shat upon at an unprecedented rate...

Kind of like this?
http://www.the6thsens.com/images/stories/shit_storm_coming.jpg

I don't think you need to stop being a nice guy to avoid being shat upon.

What you need is this:
http://www.mattersofservice.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/umbrella.jpg

:smile:
Nice guys need protection

 

[D_Alastair Pisspoore]

That's not what I meant at all!

I can't disagree with this strongly enough!

This is where cultures differ. In Israel relationships are much deeper with family and close friends, while in America relationships tend to be slightly more superficial.

And as far being "nice" is concerned, we have the whole concept of "lo frayerim" which is hard for foreigners to comprehend, and why people tend to think we are very cold and rude to strangers.

 

[noirman]

Down on your Knees!

Oh...and while your down there...

For you, knee pads will be my new accoutrement.:biggrin1:

 

[Drifterwood]

I haven't gotten ahead at ALL by being a nice guy...

What makes you think that being "nice" owes you to "get ahead", whatever that means. Personally, I find people who want to "get ahead", pricks. "Getting ahead" implies fighting your way above other people, and yes, people who do that are pricks. It isn't about judging yourself relative to other people, that is buying into someone else's standards. As others have said, try being yourself and understanding what you need and want.

You can have strategies to achieve your goals, but this is a different attitude to the one that you are demonstarting.

 

[Catchoftheday]

Best way to be a total prick, maybe you should keep telling people how you are such a nice guy, that'll probably work

 

[Calboner]

A lot of people who say that they're "nice" are actually people who are extremely sensitive to other people's opinions of them, so they bend over backwards trying to make other people like them.

Exactly; and pricks are more successful not so much because they are pricks as because they don't much care what other people think of them.

 

[tgirlsrgreat]

This is where cultures differ. In Israel relationships are much deeper with family and close friends, while in America relationships tend to be slightly more superficial.

And as far being "nice" is concerned, we have the whole concept of "lo frayerim" which is hard for foreigners to comprehend, and why people tend to think we are very cold and rude to strangers.

:moon:

 

[D_Alastair Pisspoore]

:moon:

sorry if the truth hurts....but all foreigners think that way about American relationships...all

 

[Rikter8]

What makes you think that being "nice" owes you to "get ahead", whatever that means. Personally, I find people who want to "get ahead", pricks. "Getting ahead" implies fighting your way above other people, and yes, people who do that are pricks. It isn't about judging yourself relative to other people, that is buying into someone else's standards. As others have said, try being yourself and understanding what you need and want.

You can have strategies to achieve your goals, but this is a different attitude to the one that you are demonstarting.

I think you know me well enough to realize I'm not like that.

Getting ahead meaning to progress in life naturally as others do.
You go to work, you do good work, and get rewarded for that hard work that you perform. Working at a company for 15 years and not getting a promotion to something new when everyone around you with less experience, less effort are moving forward with their lives.
Getting raises, building families...building homes. Going on trips to places and seeing the world. Meanwhile, you get shat upon with work while everyone else goes on vacation.
From what I have seen, the more you bullshit, lie, and cut throats, the faster and easier it is for you to advance in the "Game of life".

I've never been one to step on other people to get to where I want to go, just hard work and effort shown, but it hasn't gotten me anywhere.
And that's why I started the thread. Basically, "Does one need to be a total asshole to everyone to get a promotion or an advance in their job".

I had a supervisor scold me as I was being considerate of a situation at work. He said "Nice guys go nowhere and finish last - remember that"

Will I ever be a prick? No. I won't allow myself to be one.
But I'd sure as hell like to know how the rest of the world is movin on up!

 

[Rikter8]

It's not NY people; it's the people who move here that think they need the attitude. NY is a yes or no city there is little room for maybe or people who grew up somewhere and were told they were "Special."
I come back here from Honolulu and hope my kamaaina spirt will cary me through the duration of my stay... rarely happens..

That sucks. Up north in Michigan they are called Citiots (City Idiots).
They come up, treat people like they are servants to bow at their bark.

Eventually I'd love to visit NYC, but with me being such a country punkin...I wouldn't know where to park the 4X4.

 

[nudeyorker]

That sucks. Up north in Michigan they are called Citiots (City Idiots).
They come up, treat people like they are servants to bow at their bark.

Eventually I'd love to visit NYC, but with me being such a country punkin...I wouldn't know where to park the 4X4.

In Hawaii we just call them for what they are... stupid haoles.(foreigner without the Hawaiian spirit) NY we call them Tourons (Tourist+ Moron)
In terms of parking it's available all over town. Let me know when you are coming I can tell you about bargain parking!

 

[798686]

You can be a nice guy and not get walked all over, too. It means that you have high standards regarding how you'll treat others, but you aren't sensitive about how other people view you.
.

I agree with this.

It kinda depends if the 'niceness' is so you'll be thought of as nice, or whether you just treat ppl well, and aren't particularly bothered whether others think well of you or not.

 

[deleted3782]

I wise person once told me "Treat a princess like a whore and a whore like a princess" ...and you can't go wrong.

 

[helgaleena]

It is not being a prick to 'sell your brand', as they are calling it now. In olden times we'd say 'toot your own horn'. Something about your presentation of yourself can be memorable without being offensive. Those who rise swiftly on true merit are confident and sincerely nice, most times, not pricks.

Pricks make others uncomfortable and wary. They subsequently have to struggle twice as hard to get as far as a 'team player'. If you are able to support the team at your job, exhibit some pride in it. Smile and be pleased with what you have so far. Honey is more attractive than vinegar when it comes to gaining more honors.

 

[TomCat84]

I don't think you need to stop being a nice guy to avoid being shat upon.

You can be more assertive and still be nice, I think.

I say- what's wrong with being shat on???

 

[petite]

I wise person once told me "Treat a princess like a whore and a whore like a princess" ...and you can't go wrong.

How do you know if you're a princess or a whore?

 

[vince]

I think you know me well enough to realize I'm not like that.

Getting ahead meaning to progress in life naturally as others do.
You go to work, you do good work, and get rewarded for that hard work that you perform. Working at a company for 15 years and not getting a promotion to something new when everyone around you with less experience, less effort are moving forward with their lives.
Getting raises, building families...building homes. Going on trips to places and seeing the world. Meanwhile, you get shat upon with work while everyone else goes on vacation.
From what I have seen, the more you bullshit, lie, and cut throats, the faster and easier it is for you to advance in the "Game of life".

I've never been one to step on other people to get to where I want to go, just hard work and effort shown, but it hasn't gotten me anywhere.
And that's why I started the thread. Basically, "Does one need to be a total asshole to everyone to get a promotion or an advance in their job".

I had a supervisor scold me as I was being considerate of a situation at work. He said "Nice guys go nowhere and finish last - remember that"

Will I ever be a prick? No. I won't allow myself to be one.
But I'd sure as hell like to know how the rest of the world is movin on up!

It sounds like the problem may lie with the company you work for and not you. If the culture of the firm is that liars and ass lickers get promoted, then I'd leave. There are lots of workplaces where that kind of shit is not tolerated. I know, because I worked at several and in my own company, the BS artists find themselves on the street. I also worked at a place that was as you described... Stay late and drink cheap scotch with the boss, drive home wasted and get promoted into a position you were incompetent to handle. Fuck that shit. I left after 13 months.

Your only fault would be being in denial about the situation for 15 years and thinking that hard work and a doing a good job would be enough to advance your career there. The sooner you move on, the sooner you will be happy. No need to be a prick about it.

 

[Drifterwood]

I think you know me well enough to realize I'm not like that.

Yes, I do and apologies if my post was badly written and blunt.

You don't have to shit on others. What you must do is not let others shit on you or let their games seem to put them ahead of you.

I agree with Vince and would add that you may be better off in a smaller company where the qualities you have will be greatly appreciated and rewarded.