How to come out, get in the gay scene?

Bas

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Hi All!

Im not out "yet"... Really am thinking about telling that I am gay. Main reason is because im 19 and never had a girlfriend and alot of people already saying behind my back im gay.

I really like manly men, but I dont have any gay friends because im really acting straight at this moment...
Do you guys have any tips how to come out, whenever somebody is reacting dramatic how to solve that and if im out how I can get into the gay scene?

I think most people will be suportive but there would be some nasty haters...

Many many many thanks in advance!!
 

sspen

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Hi All!

Im not out "yet"... Really am thinking about telling that I am gay. Main reason is because im 19 and never had a girlfriend and alot of people already saying behind my back im gay.

I really like manly men, but I dont have any gay friends because im really acting straight at this moment...
Do you guys have any tips how to come out, whenever somebody is reacting dramatic how to solve that and if im out how I can get into the gay scene?

I think most people will be suportive but there would be some nasty haters...

Many many many thanks in advance!!

The very hardest person for me to come out to was ME! Once I was able to do that, the rest was really pretty easy. There was a real danger that my folks would have written me off, but once I got to the point that that was ok if they did, they had no pull over me anymore. Thankfully, they were loving and reasonably supportive. The rest is cake. Obviously, if there are people you know who will turn their backs on you, it's no great loss. Be true to yourself; the rest will fall into place.


I even had some people say "OMG, I'm so glad you finally figured it out!"


Best of luck, bro
 

theplayerking

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Coming out is a process. You can do it all at once, but you don’t have to.

I suggest making some gay friends first. It’s easier to come out if you have a group of gay friends who support you. In the unlikely event that some friends or family have a problem with your sexuality, it’s important to have people to talk to.
 

AtomicMouse1950

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Coming out is a process. You can do it all at once, but you don’t have to.

I suggest making some gay friends first. It’s easier to come out if you have a group of gay friends who support you. In the unlikely event that some friends or family have a problem with your sexuality, it’s important to have people to talk to.

Great advice
 

Bas

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Many thanks already! I personally think timing is also involved in the proces..
Lets hope that everybody is suportive. Im not planning on coming out very soon, but I really want to though...
 

theplayerking

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Many thanks already! I personally think timing is also involved in the proces..
Lets hope that everybody is suportive. Im not planning on coming out very soon, but I really want to though...

I suggest that you come out to someone very soon. It doesn’t have to be your mom or your best friend from school—but you should find someone to talk to.

You’re lucky that The Netherlands is a very tolerant country with a large and supportive gay community.

I’m a little concerned about your headline regarding getting into “the gay scene.” There are as many gay scenes as there are gay men. You don’t have to jump into the stereotypical “gay scene” of bars, clubs, etc. For example, if you’re athletic you might want to join a gay intramural sports team. It’s a great way to meet other gay men.
 

Catharsis

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Hey,

I don't think your friends have to be gay. Literally all of mine are straight and they support me just as much. It was nice to have that support behind me when I came out to my family.

Having a gay friend will give you someone who might be able to relate to what you're going through, but having a support system in general, I think, is more important.

If you really want to come out, then why not just do it? There is no such thing as "a good time" or a better time or a best time or anything to that effect. Respectively, there is no "bad time". Besides, the sooner you come out, the sooner people will accept you (assuming that they don't, at first - and if they never will, then that's toxic you want to cut out of your life; either way, the best thing for you to do with these people is give them space, and either they will come back to you or not).

I am under the impression that, if you really want to come out, then do it for yourself! Do what you want, not what others want. If you can accept yourself, then you can withstand all those who don't. Furthermore, you will absolutely gain some more support and that will help strengthen you.

Good luck with everything.