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- May 22, 2011
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I haven't posted on here in a few years, but I have had some history on this website and really appreciated my experience here and with some of the people that helped me grow into the person I am today. I don't know if any of those people are still around but you never know, either way the community is what it is and I've always thought positively (overall) of LPSG. I'm hoping that perhaps I can get some input on a situation I've never been in and can't really wrap my head around, and ultimately guide a very close friend in the right direction.
My friend has been in a relationship of 2 years now, and only in the past few weeks has been at tears over 1 person whom their partner has been getting close to. Let's call this "triangle" my friend, their partner, and the other person. (Sorry for such vagueness, but I just want to protect their identities as much as possible so as not to even reveal their sex or gender).
My friend's partner has been close to the other person for a while now because they participate in the same group sport, of course there are a lot of other people playing this sport - but the partner talks exclusively about the other person to my friend. So my friend feels threatened and jealous, and has asked their partner if they are interested in the other person. Their partner says, "I only care about you," but my friend doesn't believe it 100% and thinks the partner is only saying what my friend wants to hear. So in the mix of this is a matter of trust, but whether or not that's relevant I think the insecurity is definitely an issue. But my friend wants to tackle it and grow.
I can understand some red flags about this other person, especially the fact that they come up so often in everyday conversation. At some point I might wonder, "How important is this other person to you? Are they more important than me?"
The question is, is that being too clingy or possessive? Is there such a thing if you're in an exclusive relationship?
I've never been in a relationship and after multiple attempts of dating found that relationships aren't actually for me anyway, so I don't really know how it is to be so exclusive. I want to help my friend but I don't know what to say.
Does anyone know how my friend should broach this subject again and encourage raw, open, honest communication?
Does anyone perhaps have opinion or other advice to provide?
My friend has been in a relationship of 2 years now, and only in the past few weeks has been at tears over 1 person whom their partner has been getting close to. Let's call this "triangle" my friend, their partner, and the other person. (Sorry for such vagueness, but I just want to protect their identities as much as possible so as not to even reveal their sex or gender).
My friend's partner has been close to the other person for a while now because they participate in the same group sport, of course there are a lot of other people playing this sport - but the partner talks exclusively about the other person to my friend. So my friend feels threatened and jealous, and has asked their partner if they are interested in the other person. Their partner says, "I only care about you," but my friend doesn't believe it 100% and thinks the partner is only saying what my friend wants to hear. So in the mix of this is a matter of trust, but whether or not that's relevant I think the insecurity is definitely an issue. But my friend wants to tackle it and grow.
I can understand some red flags about this other person, especially the fact that they come up so often in everyday conversation. At some point I might wonder, "How important is this other person to you? Are they more important than me?"
The question is, is that being too clingy or possessive? Is there such a thing if you're in an exclusive relationship?
I've never been in a relationship and after multiple attempts of dating found that relationships aren't actually for me anyway, so I don't really know how it is to be so exclusive. I want to help my friend but I don't know what to say.
Does anyone know how my friend should broach this subject again and encourage raw, open, honest communication?
Does anyone perhaps have opinion or other advice to provide?