I met my fuckbuddy from silverdaddies a few years ago. We were both in exactly your situation being closeted bi. In fact he was only really searching for someone around his age and was more than surprised and shocked when I showed a lot of interest, which he found flattering.
We both took things "slow" over the course of a month in the sense that we just wanted to make sure we were both on the same page of what we wanted and didnt want, likes, dislikes and to make sure we were both comfortable with the potential of an ongoing arrangement. We didnt even exchange photos, which looking back probably made things easier and safe for both of us. When the day finally arrived when we would meet up face to face, he arranged for us to meet up for coffee. We were both nervous, however I was especially quiet and shy which I told him beforehand just being out in public. Not to mention the huge age difference so it was natural that I was this way. He fortuantely led the conversation and we chatted for about 20-30mins. I think looking back the coffee date, was more about just making 100% sure we were both "real" and would be comfortable to hook up in the future. He ended the "coffee date" by saying that he would like to invite me over to his place in a few days time when he was free and the words "I would really love that" could not come out quicker out of my mouth. lol
Not surprising the email exchange post coffee date, got very hot as we both were lot more open and had a face and body to connect with. I made especially sure to convey to him, I was very attracted to him and would enjoy everything he wanted to do. Our first hook up was really good, a bit nerves a bit of fumbling, but after a few hookups, we really got into an enjoyable groove and connected. He was very kind and sweet to me, made me feel really comfortable and safe that first time, which I told him laid the foundations of a wonderful ongoing fuckbuddy relationship.