how to flirt

[dolfette]

Holy fucking christ, somebody [who has some pull] actually understands what the fuck we've been trying to say all this time.

i'm smart that way.

 

[deleted356736]

Serious question, do guys actually do this? Does this work? I've never understood the art of eye contact in terms of flirting.

Works every time, even when it's married me and an attractive younger lady. Women love to be admired by someone who they consider good looking which is why eye contact tells you whether or not she's interested in your interest.

One of the problems with flirting is the best flirts are men who have a lot of confidence with women, and a lot of experience with women too. That is, either currently or formerly in long-term relationships with women, but most likely currently as a failed relationship is a real confidence breaker. So when you don't necessarily need the skill anymore is when you master it.

But young single men can learn, although those subtle signs can be hard to pick without experience.

 

[Pendlum]

to them that tired old cliché of ''just be yourself'' is as much good as telling a cripple to ''just use your legs''.

That's right, suck on that. :biglaugh:

 

[curiousvirgin]

good post! keep the replies coming, id love to know how guys flirt or what actions they consider as flirting... then i might get better at recognising when they're flirting with me!

 

[Wish-4-8]

People say, "Be yourself". But who are you? You could totally flirt in a character far more interesting than you own self.

Flirting has more to do with call and response. You throw something out and see if you get a nibble. If you do, you follow up the lead. Flirting is an attempt to get someones attention on a sexual level. It could be innocent, coy, or down right vulgar. The goal is the same.

And one thing that hasnt been mentioned is the use of double meanings and sexual inuendo. That has to be at the heart of flirting because it gets people's attention. If not, then you are just giving people compliments. In flirting, you are giving people implications. There lies the differeance.

And what Dolfette said!

 

[Principessa]

How to flirt: Seems there's a need for a how to thread on here.

Some people just don't know how, so post your best flirting tips.

I suck at flirting. :redface: I must have been playing frisbee football the day they taught that in high school.

 

[dolfette]

And one thing that hasnt been mentioned is the use of double meanings and sexual inuendo. That has to be at the heart of flirting because it gets people's attention. If not, then you are just giving people compliments. In flirting, you are giving people implications. There lies the differeance.

And what Dolfette said!

like subtle stroking of a wine glass' stem,
a brief moistening of her lips with her tongue,
or touching her neck where she'd like to be kissed.
it is a language to be learned like any other langueage.

 

[B_New End]

always ALWAYS slap a girl's ass before you talk to her.

if she responds negatively, her face comes second.

Lawd!!! LoL

 

[debeli]

Good thread
I think good old trial and error method would apply here quite nicely since it is not all that simple, certain kind of ppl is attracted to one kind of ppl, other to another... And since luckily ladies nowdays are more prone to ignoring than slaping, the risk of physical injuries is not that big
So just find a starting poing and start flirting hehe

 

[curiousvirgin]

like subtle stroking of a wine glass' stem,
a brief moistening of her lips with her tongue,
or touching her neck where she'd like to be kissed.
it is a language to be learned like any other langueage.

mmm dolfette i'd like to sign up for language classes :wink:

 

[deleted356736]

People say, "Be yourself". But who are you? You could totally flirt in a character far more interesting than you own self.

Flirting has more to do with call and response. You throw something out and see if you get a nibble. If you do, you follow up the lead. Flirting is an attempt to get someones attention on a sexual level. It could be innocent, coy, or down right vulgar. The goal is the same.

And one thing that hasnt been mentioned is the use of double meanings and sexual inuendo. That has to be at the heart of flirting because it gets people's attention. If not, then you are just giving people compliments. In flirting, you are giving people implications. There lies the differeance.

And what Dolfette said!

I thought about the women I flirted with seriously including my now wife, and I don't agree with this at all. I used flirting as a means to form a relationship where sex may follow in due course, but through a romantic connection rather than a sexual one. There is no way that that I would have used sexual double-meanings, because I don't think most women would appreciate that. The successes I had were about connection; her and me. Sex always happened in those days, which is the way that most women like it to happen, with the right man at the right time.

 

[Wish-4-8]

I thought about the women I flirted with seriously including my now wife, and I don't agree with this at all. I used flirting as a means to form a relationship where sex may follow in due course, but through a romantic connection rather than a sexual one. There is no way that that I would have used sexual double-meanings, because I don't think most women would appreciate that. The successes I had were about connection; her and me. Sex always happened in those days, which is the way that most women like it to happen, with the right man at the right time.

Yes, but the context or subtext of the flirting is sex. It has been mentioned before, flirting doesnt automatically lead to sex or need to, that is not the point. It creates sexual awarness and tension. The theme is sexual with implications. If you define sexual as being "romantic connection", fine, that is your definition, but there is still a sexual element in the air to gain her attention.

The double meanings are playful. There are a way to say/ give an intention in a "safe" way. The second meaning protects you if the "fish dont bite". The key word is playful. A woman stroking a wine stem glass while giving you a seductive look is saying a lot with out saying a word. If the deal goes sour, she could always say, "What are you talking about? I was just playing with my wine glass."

Here is another way to see this. This is for everyone. Can you write the first few lines of your flirting attempts and the responses you got that let you know the other person is "biting on the line"? Put the dialouge down like a script so we could all analyze it and have a discussion. Maybe it is easier to see this way. I really dont think we are disagreeing as much as it seems.

 

[dolfette]

lines? no.
if you get the body language right then a conversation about potted plants can be seductive and sexy.

 

[Wish-4-8]

lines? no.
if you get the body language right then a conversation about potted plants can be seductive and sexy.

I didnt mean stock lines. I meant a real live example of an exchange of words. But you are right, flirting is more than just words.

This was more for cbrmale. I was curious to see how he flirts and how he knows its working.

Ok i will go first:

Girl: So what is in the fanny pack?
Me: Just stuff, latex gloves, band-aids, ice packs, (slight pause with a look), and beer. (I get a smile)
Girl: Beer, Really? Any condoms?
Me: No, but I have these latex gloves.
Girl: (Laughs) You know, then you shouldnt be working around kids.
Me: Well, I guess thats what the gloves are for.
(she breaks out laughing)

See how the plane is broken with a simple word that invites? "Beer". She bit on the line and a flirty exchange happened that is not the normal chit chat at a workplace.

Anyone else?

 

[Serial Kisser]

always ALWAYS slap a girl's ass before you talk to her.

if she responds negatively, her face comes second.

Marry me?

 

[voidout]

Marry me?

if you lose the ring i got out of the plastic ring dispenser again, i swear to god!!

 

[D_Jared Padalicki]

just say this with sexy eyebrowlook: "How you doing?" Joey learns us a lot!

 

[voidout]

I didnt mean stock lines. I meant a real live example of an exchange of words. But you are right, flirting is more than just words.

This was more for cbrmale. I was curious to see how he flirts and how he knows its working.

Ok i will go first:

Girl: So what is in the fanny pack?
Me: Just stuff, latex gloves, band-aids, ice packs, (slight pause with a look), and beer. (I get a smile)
Girl: Beer, Really? Any condoms?
Me: No, but I have these latex gloves.
Girl: (Laughs) You know, then you shouldnt be working around kids.
Me: Well, I guess thats what the gloves are for.
(she breaks out laughing)

See how the plane is broken with a simple word that invites? "Beer". She bit on the line and a flirty exchange happened that is not the normal chit chat at a workplace.

Anyone else?

i just saw the word "beer" and started getting horny.

 

[deleted356736]

lines? no.
if you get the body language right then a conversation about potted plants can be seductive and sexy.

This is my experience, and yes a conversation about the mundane can lead to great things. I can't remember any specific lines other than a general script of eye contact coupled with facial expression, noting her response, greeting her, talking about the trivial for a bit, thinking up an excuse for us to meet again, and leaving with a date in my pocket.

My most recent example of flirting happened when a presentation was happening at my workplace, and there were two late-twenties men and an attractive Asian woman who was a bit younger. I wasn't first into the room, and I sat towards end the table and glanced at this woman who was particularly attractive, Korean as it turned out, and she smiled so I let my gaze linger on her. She was dressed in a suit which included a tight black skirt, which suited her very much.

She then came and sat beside me! If I was looking for someone, I could have easily steered our conversation after the presentation into an opportunity to meet up.

Most of the time I let an admiring gaze fall on an attractive woman who crosses my path, and enjoy her response to my admiration of her. It's good to be my age and have women think me desirable, although my wife has her doubts! There are times that I think this tendancy of mine is one of the reasons why my wife is extraordinarily sexual, in order to keep other women at bay.

 

[nudeyorker]

pardon me but this is bullshit.

for those who can do this naturally, great.
but so many people just can't talk to the opposite sex, or when they do cause offense.
the ways of conveying interest with body language may be completely instinctual to 90% of people, but the rest are screwed.
i have a lots of aspergers traits and i'm a fantastic flirt...but i'm only fantastic at it because i studied, figured out the rules and implemented them. that's how people with aspergers have to deal with socialising.

some people are wonderful when you know them, great with their friends once they're used to them, but utterly inept at communicating with strangers.

some people have no instincts. or have the wrong instincts.
to them that tired old cliché of ''just be yourself'' is as much good as telling a cripple to ''just use your legs''. waiting for eye contact and a smile only seems obvious to you because it's obvious to you.

and if more men were aware of flirt body language in women, fewer men would crash & burn after approaching women who just aren't interested...and fewer women feeling pestered or intimidated by poor approaches.

Then just wear a badge on your lapel that says "Hi I'm a
Special Needs patron here" Eventually you just have to be yourself or nothing in life stands a chance of working out for you. Flirting is a tool, being a charming and captivating is either being yourself or playing a losing game.