How to get a friend that you want so badly?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by omgitsrob18, Feb 9, 2010.

  1. omgitsrob18

    omgitsrob18 New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 30, 2009
    Messages:
    15
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    My friend and I used to hang out all the time. We used to do things with each other, hand jobs, blow jobs, etc. All of the sudden he doesn't want to do these things at all with me and shows no interest in wanting it anymore. He used to be all over me whenever we were alone and now when we hang out he mentions nothing and acts like we never did anything. We did things for a good 3 years straight, now it's been a year and I am really wanting to do things with him again. Any ideas? I won't push him too much.
     
  2. craig_uk

    craig_uk Member

    Joined:
    Oct 18, 2006
    Messages:
    210
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    10
    Gender:
    Male
    The best idea I have is to move on.

    It seems very clear he doesn't want sex to form part of your relationship any longer. You should probably take the hint and find someone who is interested.
     
  3. Countryguy63

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2006
    Messages:
    14,488
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    1,446
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    near Monterey, Calif.
    Verified:
    Photo
    If you want any chance at all, you have to back off. He has either decided against it all together, or is questioning himself. Either way, if you try to proceed or convince him in any way, you will only succeed in driving him further away.

    Sorry, no other advice fits :frown1:
     
  4. badgirl22

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 15, 2008
    Messages:
    756
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    123
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    US
    Verified:
    Photo
    My goodness if you did this for three years why can't you just simply ask him what happened and why he's not interested anymore? Worst case he tells you he doesn't want to anymore but that's where it's at already so no harm done by asking. Upside is maybe he does just doesn't know how to start it back up again.
     
  5. sxjTheFirst

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 9, 2007
    Messages:
    505
    Albums:
    3
    Likes Received:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Sydney, Australia
    Verified:
    Photo
    Two options: One just ask him directly about it. Whatever his answer be prepared to accept it. Two, move on find someone else.
     
  6. B_mitchymo

    B_mitchymo New Member

    Joined:
    May 11, 2008
    Messages:
    4,706
    Likes Received:
    12
    Location:
    Rugby, England
    Nothing more needs adding to the great advice already given. Ask and ye shall know.
     
  7. rbkwp

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2007
    Messages:
    29,285
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    1,924
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Auckland (AUK, NZ)
    Sounds like he has grown out of it matey
    (i think its pretty common with that type of relationship)
    Perhaps its a good time also for you to review your own Maturity
    and move on, as others say, which it seems you maybe.
    It is what happens in life rob-(abrev)
    especially our sexual life & with younger folk ..i reckon
    ALL the BEST
    enz
     
  8. invisibleman

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 10, 2005
    Messages:
    9,976
    Likes Received:
    39
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    North Carolina

    Sounds like it is over. You probably should stop being with him and holding on to the idea of reconnecting. That is a hard notion to grasp considering those three years.

    Human relationships can be abrupt like that. Sad to say. There are men out there that will gladly pick up where he left off. Trust me on that.
     
  9. closetbi

    closetbi New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2009
    Messages:
    164
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    NJ, USA
    Let's be serious here. You're both gay (at least a bit, because you both suck dick) and you need to play the field, bro! You want it again...well pull back. Stop chasing. Be chased. You have to be so ok with it that he's going to be like "WTF HOW IS HE SO OK WITH IM ONLY A LITTLE OK WITH IT...MAYBE IM NOT REALLY OK WITH IT!!!!" Or ask him...and he'll tell you he's done with it and he'd rather be friends, but trust me he doesn't want to tell you that, he's trying to show you with his behaviour.
     
  10. aussietango

    aussietango Member

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2005
    Messages:
    33
    Likes Received:
    0
    Hey Rob - I think the Badgirl got it right. Three years of that interesting stuff just to be dropped - ask the question. What happened? What has changed? Is there someone else? Girlfriend? Like some of the other responses I'm not certain that it will change the outcome however you need to ask for yourself. This is an incomplete cycle of communication. Yes it is all too common in this day - doesn't make it right. Ask the questions.
    It could be that you are left with a good friend or not.

    If it is the end.... I do think you will find that someone else will appear when you are ready.
    Good luck
     
  11. smiffy

    smiffy Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2007
    Messages:
    133
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    4
    UGH thats SO frustrating. That happened to me once as well. I ended up resenting him for it and cut off all times with him. I felt like a cheap date.
     
  12. rbkwp

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2007
    Messages:
    29,285
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    1,924
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Auckland (AUK, NZ)
    Acknowledge your post and sympathize smiffy .. the hard times you may have endured
    but
    so often we tend to think of our own needs, and conveniently forget the other
    person should be respected 100% for his/her decisions in life.
    dont ya think?
    they may after all be having tremendous battles within themselves re the good times'
    shared, that they have chosen to forgo.. in there search for there own identity.
    enz
    -just a thought'
     
  13. omgitsrob18

    omgitsrob18 New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 30, 2009
    Messages:
    15
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Appreciate all the responses. I want to ask him, I'm just mustering up the courage. I also have already started moving on. But thanks for the encouragement. I just needed a few people to tell me to ask him and to move on in order to do it. You know how it goes. :p
     
  14. closetbi

    closetbi New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2009
    Messages:
    164
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    NJ, USA
    I really don't think pushing it is a good idea. If I were you I'd really pull back and try to get him to start flirting with you again. Then you have more attraction to work with...some rope to choke with, if you will.
     
Draft saved Draft deleted