How to get my boyfriend to bottom for me longer?

Discussion in 'Ask a Gay Man' started by jackingoff, Feb 13, 2018.

  1. jackingoff

    jackingoff New Member

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    I don't think I am that big, I range from 6.5-7 on a good day and 5.1 girth. My boyfriend enjoys sex for the first 5 minutes or so and then it gets painful for him. How do I get him to last longer? I last pretty long and the last time we fucked he was sore for 2 days LOL.
     
  2. bobbleworc

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    that will depend on a number of things

    - has he bottomed regularly before and it been ok? if so what's different with you?
    - is he fully ready, some guys need lots of foreplay to get them loosened up
    - are you fucking him too hard? are you being too rough with him?
    - try some other positions to find out what suits him best

    and good luck to you both
     
  3. cedarizzo

    Gold Member

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    I have found that without foreplay, not enough lube and a top that goes in high gear all add up to a sore ass. Take it slow. Use lots of lube. Start with a finger. Add more lube. Use 2 fingers. Add more lube. Use 3 fingers. Add more lube. And take it very slowly! After you get it inside of him. Just hold it there for a minute . One thing I found that helps at this point is for him to tighten down as hard as he can for about 30 seconds. This will help his ring loosen up. Then start to slowly work it in and out. After a few minutes of this, start building up the pace. Then go to town.

    This is different for every guy. I often like it a little rougher than most guys, but when my partner starts off fast and rough, my ass is going to hurt for awhile.
     
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  4. mikefole9

    mikefole9 Well-Known Member

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    If he is getting sore, he is probably not relaxed enough to have his second opening open up. You are hitting the back wall and the gateway to his second opening. Try reaching in and see if you can find the second opening and get him relaxed enough to enjoy you penetrating deep.
     
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  5. Vertigo1814

    Vertigo1814 Member

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    Rimming is your friend.
     
  6. sturdy68

    sturdy68 Active Member

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    Rohypnol?
     
  7. AlexJustAlex

    AlexJustAlex New Member

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    It might be a mental think, hes probaly worring to much! Give him compliments and make him feel good! For example: tell him how good it feels to be inside him, tell him his moaning is so sexy, kiss his back and neck while fucking doggy and say that you want to spend all day with your cock in his ass. Just those little things can relax the bottom so, so much, knowing, there doing everything right and you're pleased! It was a problem solver with a fuck buddy a while ago who had the same problem!
     
  8. bwhip1011

    bwhip1011 Well-Known Member

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    Oye! You're like a dream! Fantastic post! :heart:
     
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  9. Brodie888

    Brodie888 Well-Known Member

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    Have you asked him what part is painful?

    Has he had the same pain with others or with toys?

    On top of what others have said about lube and slowly building up to more vigorous sex, check to see if he's changed lube or condom brands. He may have an allergy that creates inflammation, a hot burning feeling.
     
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  10. jackingoff

    jackingoff New Member

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    I have an upward curve. The first time we fucked, and basically when I lost my v card to him, I lasted for a good 40 min. I could have lasted longer but then the condom got stuck in his ass while we were switching positions. I fucked him like 4 different positions and he said it was painful. He said doggy style is the most painful one. He said I have gotten better as we fuck more LOL. It is good once it is in and for a couple minute but then it is too much for him.
     
  11. jackingoff

    jackingoff New Member

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    I tried playing with him and finding his g-spot but he said it was weird and he needed to pee.
     
  12. Brodie888

    Brodie888 Well-Known Member

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    The most likely problem is not enough lube or not reapplying more lube often enough. His getting too much irritation which makes sex painful. Water based lubes tend to get absorbed quite quickly.

    Make sure he's not allergic to the condoms or lube. Stick to brands that have been fine in the past if he isn't sure.

    Secondly take your time at the start. I'd suggest begin with a position with him on top so he can control the rate of progression. Also he can figure out how to position himself to get the most out of your curve. Pay attention to this as it will give you an idea of what other positions to try that create the same angle.

    Thirdly, take breaks from penetration to do other things. Im not saying to go out and do the laundry, I mean give him head, kiss etc. I find coming back to anal after a break resets pleasurable window for the bottom. Losing the pleasurable feeling is normal so fucking him for 40 mins straight will have him wishing it was over quickly.

    The feeling of needing to pee is just from his bladder being pressed on. He doesn't really need to pee. Try using a vibrator on his prostate instead while you blow him.
     
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  13. Samantha Hopkins

    Samantha Hopkins Well-Known Member

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    As a guy who dresses as a girl, being able to be as natural as a female has been important to me, however the anus is not designed for breeding. The trick is internal and external lubrication.

    for internal lubrication you need a few things. A device called a lube shooter, they come in packages of three. they are available on line. In the lube shooter you will want ID platinum of some other wet silicone lube. Usually 2 or three shooters full are great. Silicone doesnt dry out like KY and other water based lubricants.

    About 10 minutes before you are going to do it, insert 3 of the KY Lubribeads. They will melt inside him and provide additional internal lubrication.

    The internal lubrication mimics the female, in that every time you press into him, your cock becomes more lubricated from above, and when you withdraw, you are adding lubrication to his tight anal ring.

    The next lubrication you want is the Diamond silicone Gel from Astroglide. This stuff he will put in his anus, before and after inserting the Lube shooter and the KY Liquibeads. This lube is incredible and lasts a long time, however if you get carried away, it is so slick that often the top will feel like his penis has gone numb. The upside is you can last longer, but that is not thew issue here.

    Lastly you will want to coat your penis in Albolene. It can be found in the make up secition of any pharmacy. The albolene melts at room temperature. It is different that the silicone lubes and they seem to make each other better.

    One question, who starts thrusting? you or him? I am only 5'4" tall, so every guy seems pretty big for me. After years of trying to make it as smooth and natural for the top as possible, sometimes my body refuses to cooperate. In that case sex is divided into two phases. the first is the insertion to when he is all the way inside me. The second phase is where we start pumping. Between those two parts of sex is what I call the holding period, where I am desparate to be very still and allow my body adapt to the invasion of another human being. In a few minutes, as the bottom, I will have the urge to pump a little bit, slowly working up to real fucking.

    I would recommend you insert yourself, and let your lover achieve his readiness. He will be unable to control himself. The movement will come naturally. He wont be able to help himself. By letting him and his body adapt to your penetration and move at his own pace, he will find better pleasure and if you play it right you can train him to cum anally.
     
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  14. HOU_HEADHUNTER

    HOU_HEADHUNTER Well-Known Member

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    You may be able to prolong that he can take you if you incorporate foreplay as you are penetrating him. Maybe kissing him and stroking him while you are penetrating him slowly. I learned that this works for me when I had a rather large partner that realized I was in pain and was not erect. I was in doggy style position so he started kissing me on the back and one of his hands came around to stroke me which turned me on a lot. Also make sure you have some really top quality lube that doesn't dry up too fast.
     
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  15. levi101

    levi101 Well-Known Member

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    Have you found that the silicon based lubes can cause itching and are very irritating should they get in your eyes?
     
  16. KennF

    KennF Well-Known Member

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    It sounds very much like a lubrication issue.

    Lube is great for initial penetration, but a lot of guys forget that you need to keep lubing from time to time. Things to note: (a) Your boyfriend's ass doesn't produce lubrication for sex. The natural lube is for a slide out and is very slow to produce. (b) You have a curve, so the lube is being rubbed thin in some areas. (c) Lube is not just for the outside, but the inside, as well. (d) With a condom, the lube is rubbing off your cock as well. Without a condom, the additional friction breaks down the lube. So either way, you need to reapply.

    After the first few minutes, pour more on your cock and allow it to slide in and out with your dick. Or, pull out, suck his dick while you use your fingers with more lube. When you change position, reapply the lube. If you take a break and he blows you, rims you, whatever, reapply before reentry. Repeat, repeat, repeat.

    Lastly, and this speaks to the duration afterwards. You are stretching, pushing and prodding against his muscles. It isn't unusual for those muscles to be sore afterwards. You can also adjust your position, add a pillow to prop his opening to a new angle, etc... and that will reduce the tension in other muscles.

    Lastly, like everything else, encourage him and let him know his hard efforts and work are doing the job. That positive reinforcement will allow him to mentally override the rest and stay in the moment of bliss.
     
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  17. Samantha Hopkins

    Samantha Hopkins Well-Known Member

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    Not for me. I suspect that anyone can be allergic. Some chemical additives can be irritating too.

    The only downside I have found is with the Astroglide diamond silicone lube is that when I use too much, it works so well that it can eliminate so much of the friction, that my boyfriend feels like his penis had gone numb. I just clean him up with a towel once or twice, and he is back to being happy.

    This is not an issue if you use condoms.
     
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  18. jackingoff

    jackingoff New Member

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    What is the best position to get him to cum?
     
  19. Brodie888

    Brodie888 Well-Known Member

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    ggf.gif

    You guys should experiment and see what he likes. Personally I'd recommend this crab position. He can control the depth and direction of the penetration. Arching back like this allows him to really grind his prostate on your cock. If you are jerking him off, he doesn't have to think about doing it himself so he can focus purely on enjoying himself.
     
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  20. Brodie888

    Brodie888 Well-Known Member

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    See above.
     
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