how to get this girl back thread

deviant

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this girl started working in my office about a year and a half ago. I immediately starting talking to her and flirted her up and made her laugh. she let me dirty talk her and all that and after a few months I up and asked if she had a bf. yes, of course she did. well one night I was drinking with her at her place and it happened.. we kissed. then she sucked me off and climbed on top and nutted hard. it was amazing and I didn't feel bad because her bf is a piece of shit

of course she felt terrible but she broke it off with him (2 year relationship) and we became secret lover/ fuck buddies whatever. I met her parents and we became more public. then she started becoming too much. she would call me drunk and beg me to come see her too late in the night (30min drive for me). and after a few of these occurrences she finally asked "am I too much?" of course I said yeah maybe if you could tone it down a bit.. she told me FINE. i'm done begging you.

too much attention was so much better than none at all :(
she fell silent and we kind of flatlined. I hit her up to just kick it and it feels like i'm being backburnered but I can't prove it or call her on it. she wont tell me to fuck off and I'm not done seeing her. she said "we're both just doing our own thing and I'm just trying to get my life right. I still need time to heal"

which I completely understand. but how can I get her interest back? I messed up by asking her to see me and being needy. put the ball in her court and now I'm left hanging.. dumbass

anyway just sharing my thoughts since I don't really have anyone else who will listen. I guess I already know the answer. move on. she's a detriment to my psyche and it's been a hell of a rollercoaster. the sex is just ridiculous.. we get drunk at the bar and then go home and make her cum. oh well.


oh and shes 24 and I'm 21. not like this was going anywhere. I just miss her. thanks to anyone who read the novel
 

Hatt_101

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if you really care about her just keep at it because if you are just looking to have sex with her id say move on seems like she wants more. from the beginning of your post i thought you were much older than that, im 24 as, well and if you have truly lost her youre young and you still got a lot of time to settle down
 

deviant

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Yeah she thought I was a lot older too lol

I really care about the girl we're best friends and we went as far as saying I love you. We shared a lot in a short time but she's damaged. I know what it's like getting out of a long relationship it's devastating. Idk I guess it's hard to accept that someone can just change their minds. Brightest flames burn fast and all that.

I'm usually atop my game but for some reason I just can't excite her recently. The thing that brought us so close is now gone (her bad last relationship) and she's moving forward. I guess that includes forgetting me too?
 

lovinglife

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Maybe it is just the way you tell the story, but it kind of sounds like you were both using each other for sex. She probably has something to work out with herself if she is getting drunk by herself then calling you for sex. If anything you should either be drinking with her or trying to talk with and support her. Some people are not the best at these emotions and just need you to be there even if they don't ask you outright.

If you really care, offer her support. With you saying that she is too much after a few late night calls I question how much you really do care.
 

deviant

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No she doesn't drink by herself she'll be out with friends and hit me up at the end of the night

Wow. Ok that does sound like using for sex

But I tell her no come on that's ridulous I'm not driving all the way out there right now I'm busy. Then she'll get upset and beg. I wasn't a dick about it. She asked if it was too much and I said yeah. Guess I should've lied?

The problem with trying to support her emotionally is she's VERY independent and doesn't want a man that's asking her what's wrong all the time. Which is a bummer because I'm definitely that pussy whipped kind of guy if I care about a girl

I think what I'm upset about is that she left me out in no mans land. I confronted her on it and she wouldn't give me a straight answer if she wanted to keep hanging out or be done and just moved on. She left the door open. So do I close the door myself? Or do I keep throwing myself out there and see if it sticks? She made it clear she's not ready for another relationship. But I was fine with what we had going. Carefree fun with lots of laughs. We weren't exclusive but we weren't seeing anyone else. It was casual but we were into each other
 

EllieP

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No, you shouldn't lie. The truth stings, but it's what she has to deal with... honestly.

She can't give you a straight answer because she hasn't worked everything out. Yes, the sex was terrific, but is that all you want? If so, then find another FB and get it on. If not, then what do you want? I mean what do you REALLY want?

It sounds like more than a FB to me. But she sure sounds like she's bringing a lot of extra into the relationship including a heavy dependence on you doing more than your share.
 

fluffychocolate

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Um, dude, you were just a booty call. Period. When you showed you were not to be used in such a fashion she stopped calling. JMHO Take it or leave it.
 

deviant

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No, you shouldn't lie. The truth stings, but it's what she has to deal with... honestly.

She can't give you a straight answer because she hasn't worked everything out. Yes, the sex was terrific, but is that all you want? If so, then find another FB and get it on. If not, then what do you want? I mean what do you REALLY want?

It sounds like more than a FB to me. But she sure sounds like she's bringing a lot of extra into the relationship including a heavy dependence on you doing more than your share.

this is pretty spot on. she hasn't worked her emotions out. I like her way more than just sex. I just want her to want me like she used to. haven't heard from her in 2 days which is retarded since we've been texting every day for about 8 months now. I'm not playing any games I'll just wait until she's ready to see me again and lay it all out for her. I'm not afraid to take the loss but I definitely would be sad if I had to watch her walk away

that's life

Um, dude, you were just a booty call. Period. When you showed you were not to be used in such a fashion she stopped calling. JMHO Take it or leave it.

it was a lot more than just the late night calls that I described. we go out on dates and hold hands and I hang out with her family and she hangs out with mine. I went to her company Christmas party. the late night calls and such have been very recent. only since late December really. we both got really busy with family over the holidays then it just fizzled for some reason.
 
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