How to "get to know somebody"

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Kassokilleri2ff, Aug 11, 2008.

  1. Kassokilleri2ff

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    So I'm talking to this girl. She wants to get to know me before we try dating or anything like that. Well maybe dating is the wrong word. Like, boyfriend girlfriend typ thing. I have already told her I want to go out on a date with her (had to cancel due to things out of my control).

    But anyways, How do I get to know her, and let her get to know me? I mean, there has to be more than just "what things we have in common". Or at least I hope so. I have very little in common with most people let alone females! I Love METAL! hardore metal head, yet i love rap music too. I'm athiest, I love playing magic the gathering, I like video games and I play basketball. So yea, girls with stuff in common with me is insanely rare. she kinda knows my interests already, and she is still interested in me, so I at least know, when she finds out I play magic the gathering, she wont dump me for being a nerd.

    So yea, getting to know somebody is more than just knowing thier interests. (I hope). So what can I do to know her better? We don't talk on the phone much, we work different shifts so its hard to do that. (although next week I will be on the same shift as her).
    I want to take her out on some dates, but i mean, you dont get to know somebody through watching a movie.

    I don't know, is it just like, spending time with somebody and seeing how well you get along? Making sure your not like, crazy or something? I don't know. I was not priveledged enough to have more than 1 meal a day (which was my free lunch at school), let alone, the ability to wash my clothes get a haircut and take a girl on a date. I literally don't know a fuckin thing, so please help me out!
     
  2. Principessa

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    I had a great first date a few weeks ago. We went to a local bar and shot a few games of pool did some karaoke and then we basically played 20 questions. Some silly questions, some serious we both answered all questions honestly. His not liking bacon was almost a deal breaker :tongue: but since I don't play Dungeons and Dragons I guess it's a fair trade off.
     
  3. bigmoochie

    bigmoochie New Member

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    Unlax, bro! You're fine & I guarantee you know more about this than you think you do! Just take her out & talk to her. Yeah, it's that easy. (It's also easy to say, too!) Yes, it's just like spending time with her to see how you get along. I get very shy around a girl I really like & I get around that by asking her questions. Get to know what she likes & she'll respond by asking you some, too. Answer honestly. When you ask her something like, "What's your favorite band?" & she answers, as her "Really? Why do you like them?" & really be interested. Don't try to be funny or anything, just be you (yeah, that sounds cheesey but it's true.) Look into her eyes & really listen to her. Respond to what she says. Don't do anything passive like going to a movie. Go out for lunch, or (if cash is short) a coffee house, or (if cash is really short) go for a walk or something. If you live by the ocean, go watch the water. Go somewhere that's not a "date place," if you know what I mean. Pick someplace neutral - that's why I like meeting at coffee houses. You can sit in a comfy chair & chat like you're at home, drinking something tasty. It's amazing how that relaxes you.

    Above all, really try to relax & enjoy her company. This is what I did with the girl I just started seeing. We met surfing & our first "date" was to meet at a local coffee place she liked. (Yeah, let her pick so she's on her turf.) We just talked. It was great. I was nervous as hell. My palms sweated & I nearly dropped her drink as I handed it to her. We laughed. It was great. (Now that I know her better, I realize that she was just as nervous as I was that day!) You'll have fun. Really. Don't put any pressure on yourself & don't take it too seriously. She's just like you: she has likes & dislikes & she agreed to go out with you so she could get to know you. That's a complement, bro!

    You'll be OK. Let us know how it turned out!
     
  4. Jovial

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    I can see how you are confused because I get confused also. I thought dating was to get to know each other. But these days everything happens so fast, so some people think dating means you will make out and have sex on the first couple dates. She's probably dated guys that just tried to have sex as soon as possible without getting to know her first, so maybe that's why she says that. It's hard to say though.
     
  5. B_Think_Kink

    B_Think_Kink New Member

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    Play 21 questions.
     
  6. uncut1234

    uncut1234 New Member

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    talk, hangout, better yet, smoke a joint... loosens everyone up, and yuo start talkin about all sorts of things and get into deep conversations, totally different than going for drinks, drinks just make people loud, obnoxious and turn into some one who they arnt.
     
  7. Corius

    Corius New Member

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    Yes, Man, get to know her really well before you try anything sexual. It really isn't rocket science. The word for it is bonding and when that happens you become more than friends and friends look for ways to express their regard for each other. Words and conversation may just seem inadequate at some point and you find yourself moving on to the physical expression. With some just holding hands becomes a way to send a message and if the bonds are there she will likely respond. When you reach the point where sex appears to be the next appropriate step you will both know it. Ideally, you fall into each others arms at the same time. The wonderful thing about sex with someone one has bonded with in friendship and love is that it seems so natural and right. And, it only gets better with each repetition.
     
  8. Not_Punny

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    Dating IS a time to find out about the other person.

    Talking is good (essential), but you can REALLY find out about people by doing things with them and see how they respond to different situations.

    Make a list of the top 20 things YOU like to do, and try to drag her along on some of them and see how she does.
     
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