Hey, a few of you might remember me as that closeted dork who refused to come out of the closet. Well, I've been out for some time now, and I'm definitely enjoying myself. I've fooled around with a few guys, and recently I've started thinking about having anal sex. But...it worries me a lot!! I mean, I know condoms are supposed to be 99% effective, but does that mean I can just go willy-nilly with any random guy I meet at the bar so long as I have a (non-expired) condom with me? A few nights ago I met a nice guy at a club and we ended up fooling around in a hotel room. At one point, he started spitting into his hands and lubing me up to get me ready for some penetration. I told him, "No, no, no" mostly because I didn't think I was ready to go that far with him, but it also kind of shocked me that he was so willing to go bareback with me, a guy he just met mere hours earlier. What worries me is that at some point I might find myself in a stable relationship with someone and I *will* want to go bareback. And then what? Even if we both go in at some point for STD testing, he could still cheat on me behind my back and I would be none the wiser. How do gay men deal with this dilemma? What can I do to maintain a healthy sexual relationship with my partners?