How "to kill" gay part?!!

[nabludatelj]

I think tastes change just like with anything, if your not comfortable with yourself liking guys then maybe you don't like them that much, Once you start satisfying your attraction to girls then the other side may handle itself.

You might think that having an attraction to guys is wrong which makes you feel dirty but you should learn to love every side of yourself, it's just part of growing up.

I'm a similar age to you and in a similar position, I'm just going with the flow, I'm a virgin and the thought of being in a relationship really scares me. There's part of me that doesn't want to date someone but I try to push myself out of my comfort zone or else life would just being boring.

The hardest part is not knowing what to do about my attraction to guys, I fancy good looking and fun guys but I really don't think it's sexual, I'm way more comfortable with girls, I would go as far as saying I'm inherently homophobic, I struggle with male contact, I'm starting to think that if I made more effort with male relationships then my interest in them would be satisfied by that friendship. Your not alone in being insecure, things like this sort themselves out over time, there's no one forcing you to do anything, just learn to relax because you're not doing anything wrong either way.

Actually.. im doing as for me..
how can.. i enjoy sex.. with guy.. if i have feeling of something dirty and bad, wrong...

 

[invisibleman]

.. finally.. I killed... my gay part i Guess... and yesterday was 'the control shot'...

That guy who I have been written about... we are friends... rite now... just friends... and i Stopped... to think abt him.. at all...
my addiction to him... had end..))...

Few weeks ago.. I ve met... a guy from lpsg.org... and we had jerking off... and he sucked me off..)))... For it was fun..))..

Yesterday.. I repeated tht.. with another.. guy... and tried... to give him blowjob.. and kiss him.....
and u know guys.... i understood... tht... I dont want this any more...and dont want to.. suck cock... kiss a guy... brrrrr....

Im glad tht i tried.. it...and can tell for sure.. i dont like sex with guy...

So i guess... i Can say tht my gay part is dead for now.._))))

Either is guy is putting us on or this is some serious BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN situation shit. I am sorry that you don't like the way you feel about guys. I like guys. I have had to sacrifice alot of myself to be the man I am today. I have gone through a lot with guys. I have had three serious relationships with men. You learn.

Question is this: are you willing to spend your life negating certain things in your life based on what you don't like about them, but on the other hand, really like them? And falling in love with straight guys isn't going to help you either. You will only get yourself heartbroken. That is your problem. You are falling in love WITH straight guys. Fall into love with someone who reciprocates the feelings. There are men out there that can do that and aren't afraid to reciprocate.

Sometimes the best way to be happy is to just deal with what you are fearing. If you are fearing that your friends and family aren't going to love you, you had better learn to deal with losing them. People have to sacrifice to be the person they were meant to be.

If you think that straight men are better than gay men, well...not to knock any of my straight brethren...I am not chopped liver, thank you very much. I have gone through a lot of hardships but I really do sleep well at nights. I am not worrying about a thing.

Also, you really need to learn to rein in the heartstrings. Don't be falling in love with uncertain men. You have to really know who you are falling in love with. There has to be discernment. Some discrimination to protect your feelings, your heart. That is the honest truth.

There are effeminate gay men. There are effeminate straight guys. So fucking what? You don't like them. Stay away. But realize that those guys have feelings too. They are being themselves just like you are being yourself. Every person on this earth has a path.

Hey, if you really don't want to be with guys, fine. Date women. Date a whole lot of women. Get married and have kids. But don't ever get married and have those kids...then hook up with men on the side...and fall in love with another man-- THAT is some BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN dishonest shit. You are being dishonest with that woman.

So, if you really want to "kill the gay part", don't do anything with another man. Date women and be done. Conflicted men are troublesome. You waste time and energy.

 

[nabludatelj]

Im not going.. to have any relationships.. with guys...
I want to get a gf.. and have with girl only..onlyyy..

 

[invisibleman]

Im not going.. to have any relationships.. with guys...
I want to get a gf.. and have with girl only..onlyyy..

That is good. You do that. And you be committed to that.

 

[nabludatelj]

That is good. You do that. And you be committed to that.

thanks

 

[D_Brecock Evileye]

A bit of therapy might help you out. You seem very upset about all of it. I wish you the best.

 

[ElDorado77]

if this guy is straight, the more you talk to him the more you will like him, but he won't like you, at least not the real you. the sooner you end it, or come clean, the easier it will be for you to get over it.

 

[nabludatelj]

if this guy is straight, the more you talk to him the more you will like him, but he won't like you, at least not the real you. the sooner you end it, or come clean, the easier it will be for you to get over it.

I m over tht guy already... I dont think abt him.. anymore...

 

[ElDorado77]

I m over tht guy already... I dont think abt him.. anymore...

haha ok..... now the only question is, can you find a girl who you feel the same feelings about?

 

[B_henry miller]

Sounds like the situation I was in. Even worse, my mother and sisters were all man-haters, with some justification. Many of the men they knew had been abusive. For me, it was a case of not wanting to be like the men I grew up around. For a while I thought that meant maybe I was bisexual. But it wasn't a case of wanting to be WITH a certain type of man, but rather of wanting to BE a certain type of man.

Intresting topic. I think all guys wrestle with this issue in their lives at one time or another. I was unsure of my orientation in my teens and early 20's. I think I knew that I was straight when I had several opportunities to have a gay encounter, but couldn't go through with it. There is a part of me that finds men attractive and appealing, but having sex with another guy is a turn off for me. I thought that I must be crazy. How could I find men attractive and appealing, yet be disgusted by the thought of having sexual realtions with them? Now before guys starting saying that I'm repressed about my true orientation, I want to tell you about a website I found that helped me sort out my feelings about other men. You see, when I was younger and going through those incredibly confusing years where most guys come to terms with their sexuality, I lacked strong positive male influences in my life. I was raised by my mother and sister. I thought that all of the feelings I had about other guys were "wierd", so I kept them buried. It took me time to realize that what I was yearning for with other men was not sexual, but a strong positive masculine relationship. When I was younger and in university, I gravitated towards activities that involved men such as athletics and fraternities. After being involved with these types of organizations, I realized that men were not sexually appealing to me. I also had an experience in university where I felt deeply attracted to a close male friend of mine, but couldn't understand why. I loved him in an intense masculine way, but couldn't have sexual relations with him.

I have accepted that even though I'm straight, I'm also g0y, not gay or bisexual. Finding this website was the most incredible thing that ever happened to me. It was like having a 10,000 pound gorilla lifted off my back. I was able to identify with almost everything it said. At close to 500,000 hits on this website, I could see that I was not alone and that was a very comforting feeling. Maybe you too will identify with this. If you would like to find out more information about being g0y, visit this website:

g0ys.org -GUys into gUys - not gAys...

I hope this information helps you discover who you truly are. It helped me make some sense out of the conflicting feelings that I had for other men and has helped me finally have peace with who I am.

Cheers bud.

 

[D_Garmanswait Glassnads]

I can really relate to this Miller, my family is filled with really strong women, I think they think guys are worms, I'm really the only biological guy in my family, my dad is rarely around the rest of my family. I'm going to check out that link from AG08.

 

[nabludatelj]

haha ok..... now the only question is, can you find a girl who you feel the same feelings about?

Actually in my life... i had about 3 girls... who I felt much more about than about this guy...

and rite now... im attractive to one girl... but.. coz im shy.. i cant to start talking with her...
damn it... im so fool

 

[nabludatelj]

So i guess... that... exactly the same was happening with... tht.. I like guys... who I wanted to be.... I want to on their place...

 

[Nrets]

I used to get very anxious about my sexuality. I got called a sissy growing up because my Dad was elderly and I never learned to play sports or throw a ball properly.
Also many of the men in my Dad's side of the family seem to have a bisexual side that comes out in various ways.
I never realized this until recently. I couldn't realize it because until recently, I always thought everyone was straight. I was in denial about gay people's sexualities.

With my rigid world view and being called a faggot by kids who were jealous of my innocent close friendships with guys, I subsequently became paranoid about being perceived as gay.

However I always thought I was completely straight until I got high when I was 15. In that moment "break on through to the other side" by the Doors came on the radio and it meant I was gay and it was terrifying. I have accepted that that trip has real meaning and feelings for men is a real part of me, but I also realize that the fear I had that day came not just from my sexuality, but from my perception of the world being rigid becoming shattered.
As an example Ricky Ricardo talking to Lucy on "I love Lucy" morphed into my Dad screaming "what did you do to my kid!?"
Shattered.
It was that day that I became an artist.
I am a jaded virgin on this night because of that day years ago and assorted body image issues.
In spite of all this, I still would rather have sex with women. I came out of the closet to a half dozen friends a year ago, thinking that with a gay label I would finally feel free to explore my repressive obsession with my sexuality. I jumped back in the closet a few days after cause I realized at the end of the day I want to have sex with women. Also I frequently get hung up on specific women that come through my life. It does not help my cause with these women to constantly question my sexuality. I know some women are OK with bi guys, but I do not attract the type of women that are OK with guys that question their sexuality. I come off as a brash brootish punk.
Alas, I am a virgin. I come on this site to shatter my internal prejudices so I can someday just be.
If I ever stop posting, it will hopefully be because I finally am happy.
Hopefully I will have sex soon cause the older I get, the harder it seems to lose. I need to have sex with a woman. If it feels dishonest.. I'll be open to exploring men.

Go out and have sex. Enjoy your body. Don't be afraid to do things completely different from me.
Don't be a 24 year old virgin.

Hope this helps, but as I know damn well....you can only help yourself

 

[killerb]

So i guess... that... exactly the same was happening with... tht.. I like guys... who I wanted to be.... I want to on their place...

WHAT?

 

[green carnation]

I would like to say that I think (almost) all the advice and comments given to this thread are so remarkably supportive and sensible that I think we are all very lucky to have such a wonderful forum as LPSG.ORG and such clever and erudite contributors. Thanks LPSG and members on behalf of everyone who comes here with their problems.

Secondly, I have some questions for you Nabudatelj- it might be a nice for you to help someone as you have been helped:
1. How did you so successfully manage to kill your infatuation with your straight friend?
2. How did you manage to actually meet someone off here for a sexual encounter, especially in York?
3. Why do you want to kill love in the first place?

Pray do tell

 

[B_Austin Blue]

but im making one guy unhappy... rite now..
im destroying his life...
just because i love him..

Sorry if this offends you, but have you thought about talking with a counsellor about this?

 

[Leche por mi cafe]

Why do you think it is wrong for loving a guy? So what if you love a guy! Great for you! They're alot of people out there that would love to have what you have with this guy. Love is a gift...and it doesn't matter with whom. Honor it and enjoy it. Don't look at this relationship as wrong!