How to Love Self

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Rikter8, Dec 27, 2008.

  1. Rikter8

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    Everbody talks about Loving ones self before they can love anyone else.
    I'm sure it's different for everyone. For those of us who'm don't know where to begin:

    What is your method that you use to love one self?

    I'll start:
    Look in the mirror and repetedly say "I'm beautiful in my own way"
     
  2. jeff black

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    Allow yourself to remember that you are a good person, who has done good things and that you are not a failure. Remember that.


    You can also love yourself in the shower.:wink:
     
  3. nudeyorker

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    Depending on the situations of your personal and professional life, you have to set limits of when you can put your own needs and desires first, even if it is taking an evening out or staying home and turning off the phone and tending to yourself to recharge and recapture your spirit.
     
  4. jeff black

    jeff black <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    That's actually a pretty good one, NY. Once you are able to start doing things for yourself... you can really begin to change.
     
  5. vince

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    One way to feel good about yourself is to do selfless things for other people. It can be small things such as giving up your seat on the bus, or holding the door open for a stranger. You can help your friends and relatives in many big and small ways.

    If you smile at, or make small talk with people you encounter in everyday life, they will reciprocate and that always feels nice.

    In my professional life, I always compliment a job well done. It makes the other person feel good and reinforces my own self esteem.

    I agree with what Jeff said. Doing things for yourself is important as well.
     
  6. nudeyorker

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    At one point or another everyones Mother gave this advice "Just be yourself!" I know it may have sounded like a platitude at the time, but there is great power in knowing what you like, and what you believe in and respecting your self and your life decisions.

    If you are not sure where to start..start with the basics of what make you happy.
    Do I prefer going skiing or going to Las Vegas?
    How do I feel about herbal tea vs. strong coffee?
    Would I ever consider cutting my own hair?
    Was Picasso really a fabulous artist?
    Does anyone really need a life coach?
    What are my thoughts on 10 ct grass green Columbian Emeralds?
    Do I prefer Mick Jagger to Ray Davies?

    Don't cheat on this, don't think "Biff really loves Mick Jagger and I love Biff so I love Mick Jagger too" We are not concerned with Biff at the moment, we are concerned with you. Go about this with all affection, think of yourself as a really interesting book and discover all the mysteries of your personality and you will be startled and gratified with the results.
    Start to prune the negatives from you life and replace them with positives!
     
  7. jason_els

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    Oooooh! Synchronicity strikes again!

    I was just asking myself the very same thing as I stepped into the shower about an hour ago.
     
  8. D_Fiona_Farvel

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    Hmm, usually doing something that I can take pride in--which is why I volunteered so much.

    But, sometimes nothing more than asking a person that looks troubled if they're OK, being supportive of friends, or calling my family and letting them know they are loved, works.

    So, I guess, trying to be the best, most involved person I can, and doing it sincerely, "paying in", if you will,... and making the inner life full...reinforces the love I have for myself.... :shrug:
     
  9. B_Hickboy

    B_Hickboy New Member

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    I just make sure I get the best of everything. By best I mean knowing myself well enough to understand what's right for me and pursuing that in everything. That includes, but is not limited to, friends, lovers, food, sleep, medical care, intellectual development, entertainment, and my hobbies.
     
  10. ManlyBanisters

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    Fixed that for ya, babe :wink:
     
  11. jason_els

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    How do you care enough to get motivated in the first place?
     
  12. B_Hickboy

    B_Hickboy New Member

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    Thanyouverymuch.
     
  13. B_Hickboy

    B_Hickboy New Member

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    I allow myself to fear the alternative.
     
  14. BiItalianBro

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    .. or the bedroom, or the den, or the kitchen, or the car, or the dressing room, or the yard :cool:
     
  15. bigmanstl

    bigmanstl New Member

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    take it from someone who used to beat himself up virtually everyday it's not easy. one day sit down and determine why you can't love yourself fully. something in the past? realtionship with mom/dad? you GOTTA figure out why and make sure you find some alone time. don't be afraid to seek counseling if u need it. if money is an issue contact a local agency u can afford (usually u can pay via a sliding scale based on income). the bottom line is you MUST love yourself before u can bring your best into an relationship and treat your boy/ girl friend with the utmost respect they deserve. good luck to you:smile:.
     
  16. vince

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    It's also about forgiving ourselves for our short comings. One has to recognize that you are deeply flawed like all of us. We are not perfect, none of us. That we have all done things in our lives that we want to redeem ourselves for. Perhaps we haven't been courageous enough or our fears have led us into a place we don't want to be. I think so much of our life is led by fear and there something beautiful in recognizing and accepting it and forgiving ourselves for not standing up in those moments when we should have. Ultimately you have realize that it's okay to be imperfect. It's okay.
     
    #16 vince, Dec 27, 2008
    Last edited: Dec 27, 2008
  17. D_Chaumbrelayne_Copprehead

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    Here's something from the realm of energy medicine that might help, when you have stuff about yourself that you are having trouble accepting.

    A few inches below each shoulder blade, a few inches either side of the center of your chest, you'll find two slightly sensitive spots. Tap around and find those two spots that are a little more sensitive than others.

    Then, think about what it is that you are having trouble accepting about yourself. It might be something really confusing or troubling to you, but ... for example ... let's say it's that you're bad at parallel parking.

    You would then simultaneously tap those spots over and over again, while saying to yourself, "Even though I can't figure out how to parallel park, I am still learning to love and accept all the different parts of myself." Keep tapping, and say it over and over to yourself for a few minutes ... you may even feel something shift in yourself as you're doing it. Breathing deeply while you do this is a good idea, too.

    You can even use this for a conflict you're feeling ... "Even though I can't stand my mother but feel guilty for ignoring her, I am still learning to love and accept all the different parts of myself."

    It's fine to do this multiple times for the same problem.
     
  18. rbkwp

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    Exuding a Loving and Caring Attitude towards others seems to help me a lot with Loving myself .. especially after i have often seen the results of a smile .. often folk are so confused they just HAVE to force a smile back
    Unforunately it just dont work .. on the internet
    enz
     
  19. goodwood

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    I have NO idea about how to love myself. I would love to know how to do this. I have heard everything in the book about how to do this, every therapy, every religion and none of them work. I would actually like to be able to think well of myself but i have yet to figure out how that can possibly happen. i suppose i love myself most when i am able to give to others either financially or material or of my time. That is when i am most happy. i wish i could be a full time anonymous philanthropist. I think then i could love myself.
     
  20. nudeyorker

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    Then do that with thoughts and actions. Try volunteer work, I can not speak about it highly enough.
     
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