How to measure

Discussion in 'The Healthy Penis' started by Imported, Oct 28, 2002.

  1. Imported

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    felipe: Sorry if this question has been already posted, but how do you measure a penis correctly? Is it from the angle of the dick where it meets the crotch, or from the side, or from the bottom, or an average of all three? How do you guys do it? If I do it different ways I get very different sizes...who can help me?
     
  2. Imported

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    two_fister: from the top where the penis meets the pubic bone.
     
  3. Imported

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    neworlnssteel: If you are angled measure along the angle. I am a little to the left and thats how I measure.
     
  4. Imported

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    felipe: thanks for the replies..I suspect that many out there measure incorrectly to get the longets measurement possible!!! I have met many so-called 8 inchers that were really 6 inchers.... Anyway, just as well size doesn't matter, right? Yeah, right.

    Question, do you let others measure you? Again, purely scientific research...hehehe.
     
  5. jonb

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    And do NOT make the following common measurement mistakes:

    1) From the anus to the penis
    2) Measuring the penis's aura.
    3) Going to the glans or foreskin and back.
    4) Stretching the foreskin all the way.
    5) If cut, IMAGINING how far the foreskin could stretch.
    6) Measuring its length in the fourth dimension.
     
  6. Imported

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    felipe: damn!!
     
  7. ericbear

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    [quote author=jonb link=board=health;num=1035814601;start=0#4 date=10/30/02 at 07:06:10]And do NOT make the following common measurement mistakes:

    [/quote]


    You left one off the list:

    Using one of those special rulers which AOL apparently provides to all of their customers.
     
  8. jonb

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    I don't go to AOhell.

    My best advice for angle is to get a polar graph and stand next to it.
     
  9. Imported

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    thefrench_h: [quote author=felipe link=board=health;num=1035814601;start=0#3 date=10/30/02 at 01:25:42]Question, do you let others measure you? Again, purely scientific research...hehehe.[/quote]

    yes, one girl and one couple (but the woman was holding the ruler :))

    strange but not bad feeling
     
  10. B_DoubleMeatWhopper

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    Nope. I'm not a trophy nor a piece of meat (despite my nick). If they really must know, I can tell them to the nearest quarter inch. If they feel the need to verify it for themselves, they can kindly fuck off.
     
  11. Imported

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    two_fister: right on !...DMW
     
  12. Imported

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    pokjbv: I often have thought that measuring is incomplete unless you also check the girth, then do the higher math to obtain cubic volume. Cubic volume is a much better measure of size don't you think?

    Length x Pi x Radius squared for those that do not remember....

    or the surface area might be even better for those that really like to do math....

    2 radius x Pi x length x 2 Pi x radius square, using 3.14 for Pi.
     
  13. jonb

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    You forgot to add, radius is circumference over twice pi.
     
  14. Imported

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    slurpie_king: All of this math... now I know why there are so many beer can pictures! :D
     
  15. Imported

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    H8Monga: [quote author=ericbear link=board=health;num=1035814601;start=0#6 date=10/30/02 at 11:37:47]


    You left one off the list:

    Using one of those special rulers which AOL apparently provides to all of their customers.[/quote]

    I like the AOL ruler, but I lost mine! There are two kinds, one starts at the 3" mark but the user is usually illiterate when it comes to numbers, so he types in what he sees that matches on his keyboard. The other is actually a scale where 1 inch equals 2 inches.
     
  16. jonb

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    Well, if AOL were a city:
    • The speed limit on the highway would be 10.
    • You'd live in a place where no two people had the same name, and all were h0t 17/f cheerleaders with a fetish for pierced gay Dobermans in spandex.
    • You'd only pay $21.95 a month to live there, but half the time you tried to leave your house, the door would be stuck.
    • Once you got outside, even if you were in a hurry, you'd be assaulted by slimy little door-to-door salescreeps offering you great AOL 14.4 modems for only $399.99
    • The commute to work is just a double-click away, but every time you try to leave your driveway, the flow of traffic knocks you back into your yard.
    • 48 hours after moving in, your mailbox would be overflowing with special offers, promotions and discounts from www.cuntsmack.com
    • The local post office would tell your mother you're not a known resident.
    • The local post office won't forward your mail to you when you move.
    • The administration would kick you out of town for cursing after one of those brutal toe stubs. If you saw a crime and called 911, they'd reply a week later with a form letter saying how you "really are important you are to us".
    • The administration would tell your boss to either pay up, or move his slack-ass company somewhere else.
    • Everyone on the street would have something to do with kiddy porn, and this business would account for 75% of all city revenue.
    • Every time you went shopping, you'd be kicked out of the store by a bouncer screaming, "WE'RE SORRY, THIS STORE IS TEMPORARILY UNAVAILABLE."
    • Every time you went to the mall, people would run up to you and violently scream M/F??!!, AGE/SEX?!?! or g0t PH1SH d00d?!11 while little kids called your cell phone saying "Wanna FUCK?"
    • Those that didn't do that would call you and say " Hi, I'm j0e hax0r from the city council. We had a database crash and lost your tax records. Please give us your address and the key to your house or we will be forced to evict you and your family."
    • Even your 3 year old son would know the intimate personal details of the town security expert.
    • Whenever you traveled to other cities, people would see your license tag and laugh at you, behind your back.
      You'd occasionally be sent home during your day by another bouncer telling you that the city has performed an illegal operation, but it's really the Earth's fault.
    • The local McDonalds sign would be realistically changed to "McHax0r Wuz H3r3" and "Gr33tz 2 K}It0sawruz" almost daily. Police don't investigate, but do show up with little scrubby tools, or just remove the sign altogether.
    • Your daughter would disappear to the No-Tell Motel every night, and you'd foot the bill.
    • Half the kids in the daycare you use are thinly disguised fat, hairy, drooling, diapered men holding sacks of candy.
    • Putting up controversial art in your home would result in the police bashing in your door, throwing your ass on the floor, and kicking the shit out of you while saying "Ya got two chances left, jerk. ROFLMAO LOL!!"
    • You'd not have any idea who your neighbors are, and most new arrivals would move in at night, stuff everyone's mailbox with garbage, and vacate before sunup.
    • You'd send your kids to school for history, math and science, but they'd wind up studying ph1shing, one-handed typing, and annoying acronyms.
    • The administration would build a huge, state-of-the-art park, and allow the kids to play there free, then suddenly start demanding money.
    • The kids wouldn't be able to get out of said park "for safety reasons", but NAMBLA would meet every day at the park at midnight which would adjourn at 11:59 PM.
    • The police would work for free out of some sort of "duty" to the city, but would secretly only be doing it for the free food stamps.
    • Upon waking every morning, a voice from above would shout "HEY! YOU DO WANT A STINKIN' AOL VISA, DON'T YOU?" To which you say "no". The voice then replies "OK, I'LL ASK YOU TOMORROW".
    • A trip to the local library would find you a few ancient doom 2 patches, commercial pix of Pamela Anderson Lee, and a viral copy of PkZip 2.04g
    • Community events would be periodically interrupted because of the speaker randomly flying out of the meeting hall and appearing several minutes later with some stupid comment about a Punt Monster.
    • Your neighbors would be called to leave on pilgrimages to a mystical land called USENET, where they would bleat the virtues of your fair city.
    • The administration would secretly sell off chunks of their personal land in the city, while buying up neighboring cities with imaginary funds.
     
  17. Imported

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    kaneui: Responding to pokjbv on penis measurement:

    I agree that measuring by volume is the best way to measure cock size, using the standard formula for the volume of a cylinder (although most cocks are not perfectly round, even cylinders).

    I thought it would be interesting to compare what the volumes (or sizes) of different size cocks would be, varied by length and girth. So I made up a chart with increments of 1/2" in length and girth, and the results were astounding! A really large cock can be up to 3-5 times the volume (or size) of a small cock.

    Increases in length produce only a linear increase in volume, but increases in girth make a much larger difference. (Didn't keep the chart, but anyone can make their own rather easily.)

    I always thought that if there was to be an authentic dick-size contest, there would need to be an instrument, maybe similar to a cock pump, that a guy could stick his cock into, have it inflated to full erection, and have the volume of the cock measured. (This would put an end to all the erroneous self-measured stats floating around...)

    Any creative inventors out there? Such a device could be quite a hit for gift-giving, parties, clubs, etc.
     
  18. Imported

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    7x6andchg: kaneui-

    We had this discussion a while back - it was decided that water displacement was the way to go except no one could figure out a way to standardize the container in which the water would be.

    But you are correct - for overall size there is no other way to be accurate.

    7x6&C
     
  19. Imported

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    H8Monga: [quote author=jonb link=board=health;num=1035814601;start=12#15 date=05/10/03 at 18:39:10]Well, if AOL were a city:
    • The speed limit on the highway would be 10.
    • You'd live in a place where no two people had the same name, and all were h0t 17/f cheerleaders with a fetish for pierced gay Dobermans in spandex.
    • You'd only pay $21.95 a month to live there, but half the time you tried to leave your house, the door would be stuck.
    • Once you got outside, even if you were in a hurry, you'd be assaulted by slimy little door-to-door salescreeps offering you great AOL 14.4 modems for only $399.99
    • The commute to work is just a double-click away, but every time you try to leave your driveway, the flow of traffic knocks you back into your yard.
    • 48 hours after moving in, your mailbox would be overflowing with special offers, promotions and discounts from www.cuntsmack.com
    • The local post office would tell your mother you're not a known resident.
    • The local post office won't forward your mail to you when you move.
    • The administration would kick you out of town for cursing after one of those brutal toe stubs. If you saw a crime and called 911, they'd reply a week later with a form letter saying how you "really are important you are to us".
    • The administration would tell your boss to either pay up, or move his slack-ass company somewhere else.
    • Everyone on the street would have something to do with kiddy porn, and this business would account for 75% of all city revenue.
    • Every time you went shopping, you'd be kicked out of the store by a bouncer screaming, "WE'RE SORRY, THIS STORE IS TEMPORARILY UNAVAILABLE."
    • Every time you went to the mall, people would run up to you and violently scream M/F??!!, AGE/SEX?!?! or g0t PH1SH d00d?!11 while little kids called your cell phone saying "Wanna FUCK?"
    • Those that didn't do that would call you and say " Hi, I'm j0e hax0r from the city council. We had a database crash and lost your tax records. Please give us your address and the key to your house or we will be forced to evict you and your family."
    • Even your 3 year old son would know the intimate personal details of the town security expert.
    • Whenever you traveled to other cities, people would see your license tag and laugh at you, behind your back.
      You'd occasionally be sent home during your day by another bouncer telling you that the city has performed an illegal operation, but it's really the Earth's fault.
    • The local McDonalds sign would be realistically changed to "McHax0r Wuz H3r3" and "Gr33tz 2 K}It0sawruz" almost daily. Police don't investigate, but do show up with little scrubby tools, or just remove the sign altogether.
    • Your daughter would disappear to the No-Tell Motel every night, and you'd foot the bill.
    • Half the kids in the daycare you use are thinly disguised fat, hairy, drooling, diapered men holding sacks of candy.
    • Putting up controversial art in your home would result in the police bashing in your door, throwing your ass on the floor, and kicking the shit out of you while saying "Ya got two chances left, jerk. ROFLMAO LOL!!"
    • You'd not have any idea who your neighbors are, and most new arrivals would move in at night, stuff everyone's mailbox with garbage, and vacate before sunup.
    • You'd send your kids to school for history, math and science, but they'd wind up studying ph1shing, one-handed typing, and annoying acronyms.
    • The administration would build a huge, state-of-the-art park, and allow the kids to play there free, then suddenly start demanding money.
    • The kids wouldn't be able to get out of said park "for safety reasons", but NAMBLA would meet every day at the park at midnight which would adjourn at 11:59 PM.
    • The police would work for free out of some sort of "duty" to the city, but would secretly only be doing it for the free food stamps.
    • Upon waking every morning, a voice from above would shout "HEY! YOU DO WANT A STINKIN' AOL VISA, DON'T YOU?" To which you say "no". The voice then replies "OK, I'LL ASK YOU TOMORROW".
    • A trip to the local library would find you a few ancient doom 2 patches, commercial pix of Pamela Anderson Lee, and a viral copy of PkZip 2.04g
    • Community events would be periodically interrupted because of the speaker randomly flying out of the meeting hall and appearing several minutes later with some stupid comment about a Punt Monster.
    • Your neighbors would be called to leave on pilgrimages to a mystical land called USENET, where they would bleat the virtues of your fair city.
    • The administration would secretly sell off chunks of their personal land in the city, while buying up neighboring cities with imaginary funds.
    [/quote]

    :D Damn you know a little too much!
     
  20. Imported

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    slurpie_king: standard cup of measurement... When I think of the largest, most widespread cup around the world.. I think of a Super Size soda from McDonalds.

    Couldn't we, say, fill the cup all the way, then immurse the dick and measure the water that spills over?
     
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