I’m in the same boat as you. It’s tough to find other like-minded gay men to mingle with. I can’t stand the gay night club scene because it just doesn’t appeal to me and I don’t want to date anyone that likes to frequent the club scene. I have tried joining outdoor social gatherings like gay hiking groups and brunch and such, but they are mostly for older gay men in their 50s+. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy chatting with them but I’m only looking to date men that are around my age (32), give or take a few years.
@la6nine , I checked your profile and you are quite hung and have a nice body.
Speaking from personal experience and observations. Everything in life is just a matter of luck. Having a larger gay dating pool won’t make it any easier for you to find a nice guy to be with. People are the same wherever they are. It all depends on luck. You could find yourself in a big gay city with hundreds and thousands of gay men to date and if you are unlucky, you’ll end up with a shitty guy that’ll make your life miserable. Or you could be in a small town with a handful of gay men and if you’re lucky, you’ll find a nice guy amongst those few gay men in your area.
My city has a big gay social scene. Yet i’m still single after all these years. I have no problem attracting other gay men. It’s so happen that I only attracted attentions from shallow gay men and they’re not what i’m after. I have a pretty realistic expectation of what I want and I don’t ever settle for 2nd best, at least not when it comes to my happiness. If someone doesn’t think i’m his best choice, then I won’t settle to be his second best. When I was younger, all i wanted was a good looking guy, now, all I wanted is a guy with a good heart and they are much harder to find than good looks.
At this point in my life. I’m very independent and enjoy my own company and doing my own things. I know who I am and what I am. I have realised it’s dangerous if you rely on other people to make you happy because you are only setting up yourself for disappointments. Most people can’t make themselves happy let alone making other people happy.
I’d rather be single and happy than being miserable in a relationship. Hence, I bailed the second I detect any negativity in a guy. If he can’t make himself happy, he isn’t going to make me happy. If I do cross path with a nice guy some day, I’ll cherish him and will never let him go. If not, I won’t lose any sleep or tears over it, I’ll still keep on living doing things that make me happy.
OP, don’t force yourself into doing things you don’t enjoy doing just so you could meet your prince charming. There’s no such thing. Prince charming doesn’t exist, so you gotta be your own prince charming and make yourself happy by doing the things you enjoy doing. You could wear a subtle rainbow bracelet or a ring or a necklace to reveal to other gay men that you’re gay. If a gay guy is interested in you and knows you’re gay, he’ll definitely make a move on you, or you could make the first move.
I have learned that we are at our best when we are happy and relaxed by doing the things we enjoy doing. I enjoy making furnitures so I took up woodworking as hobby recently and enjoy the heck out of it. And I’m planning to take up knitting as well so I can knit my own cashmere socks, gloves and cardigans. It feels great creating things for yourself and your loved ones. I’m living my life chasing my own happiness and not wasting my time chasing after a figure whom i haven’t met believing he’ll make me happy.