How to separate your emotions from sex?

Exbiker

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It is unlikely to be something you can change radically, by means of conscious effort.

It comes from a deep existential place inside us. It is a projection of our personal and social histories... Everything you ever did or said has contributed to your attitudes to sex, and a few other things ( politics, religion, etc. )...

Maybe you might be able to practice it. You could, for example, have more sex with people you don't know or care about. There are sometimes bars, online contact sites etc which might help make that happen.

I would think ten or twenty times would be enough to kill the relevant brain connections...

But it would also be a pointless goal. By definition...
 
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Serial Kisser

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The only two times I've been able to separate sex from emotions were when I was fucking really hot, but really dumb guys. They were FWBs. I was only attracted to them physically. They did not have enough going on upstairs to attract me on a deeper level. (Not a man, here)
 

MrGoodDate

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I think young men desire sex in most any form, an animal needs for sex. But with maturity they need a deeper emotional sex with someone they are close to, and sex becomes a sharing of body, soul and spirit. Love is one word. Sex as an animal is good, but there is something better than good, something wonderful when two souls join together in love and sex. Add to that that a woman needs love to really give herself to sex.
 

Over-reaching

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I'm not sure it'd be something that you can alter in yourself? I've never had trouble separating sex from emotions when the sex has been purely recreational for both of us, and I've always enjoyed NSA sex. This might of course change as I get older.

One thing that can help is fucking other women (or other men, as the case may be).
 

Popyuu

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Don't think it can be done. Not entirely. Not when sex is about pleasure and pleasure has everything to do with emotions. Maybe you should focus on not having romantic emotions or romantic expectations for the future.
 
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I believe that a minority of men have a personality type that arises from genetic factors or from upbringing that enables them to do this. Sexual pleasure is sexual pleasure, and you can sometimes get the best sexual experiences from women you don't love and barely know. And if you don't have this sex then you will miss out on something special. So some of us have hundreds of partners but most not. Clearly the converse holds true with some women or else men like me wouldn't have the opportunities, and I would say that contrary to popular belief more women are capable of one-night stands than men. I don't want to start a fight here, but all the women I had long-term relationships with were capable of a sexual fling with someone they had just met.

Most women need a 'connection' in order to have sex, but liking someone is as much connection as they need, and in my case I need to like a woman enough to have sex with that woman too. And I can say that I like all 200 or more.
 

sdbg

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For me, there is no way. There has to be enough attraction in the first place for me to want to hook up. Attraction produces an automatic emotional response with me. I would rather jerk off than have sex with someone that I have no feelings for.
 

beretta216

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I wonder if it's something that's a part of your personality, because I've never had that problem. Fucking and making love to me are two entirely different things... Fucking is about sexual attraction or just being horny, which, to me isn't the same thing as having sex with someone I'm in love with.

...but that's just me. To me, fucking can be no different than jerking off... just blowing off some steam or giving the D to some chick who's hot. :: shrugs ::
 

MuscledHorse

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When you say "separate sex from emotion" are you talking about the Hollywood lie that great sex equals love equals a great relationship? A (straight) guy I once worked with always referred to love as "the dopamine high", which, when it comes to sex is how I view it. I look at sex as the ultimate sport among males and have a partner count in the thousands. Sex can be an extension of love but most often it appeals to our primal sexual needs that have nothing to do with love. I can have as much sex as I do because I look at it as giving my fellow males pleasure we both need. But that great feeling--the dopamine high--sex gives I never confuse for love; it's just the pleasure rush of the moment. Along with that I have to say the people in my life that I love and care deeply about: only 2 of them have I ever had sex with. Treat sex for what it is: a sport among males that leaves us both feeling content (for a few hours anyways) and don't let the dopamine induced "warm fuzzies of sex afterglow" mislead you into thinking this might be the start of a great relationship. Sex is--no matter what they tell you in the movies--never, ever a realistic basis for a relationship.
 

inwait8

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When you say "separate sex from emotion" are you talking about the Hollywood lie that great sex equals love equals a great relationship? A (straight) guy I once worked with always referred to love as "the dopamine high", which, when it comes to sex is how I view it. I look at sex as the ultimate sport among males and have a partner count in the thousands. Sex can be an extension of love but most often it appeals to our primal sexual needs that have nothing to do with love. I can have as much sex as I do because I look at it as giving my fellow males pleasure we both need. But that great feeling--the dopamine high--sex gives I never confuse for love; it's just the pleasure rush of the moment. Along with that I have to say the people in my life that I love and care deeply about: only 2 of them have I ever had sex with. Treat sex for what it is: a sport among males that leaves us both feeling content (for a few hours anyways) and don't let the dopamine induced "warm fuzzies of sex afterglow" mislead you into thinking this might be the start of a great relationship. Sex is--no matter what they tell you in the movies--never, ever a realistic basis for a relationship.

I would LOVE to have this viewpoint, but I honestly have never hooked up with someone where there wasn't at least some feeling there on my part. This is the reason I don't hook up often and never with a guy who want NSA... why would I do that to myself.