How to stay confident at distressing times?

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by LemacST, Nov 2, 2007.

  1. LemacST

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 20, 2007
    Messages:
    1,096
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Ca
    Today my boss confronted me about something I did wrong the other night. It was nothing too terrible and she wasn't being bitchy in the slightest, but I definitely began to get nervous and it showed. I kind of paused between my words and they were kind of weak. Basically I felt awkward and embarassed. What's the best thing to do in this kind of situation? How can people keep a straight voice and face during these kind of moments? Again, nothing about this specific scenario was extreme yet I couldn't hold an ounce of confidence :\
     
  2. SpoiledPrincess

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2006
    Messages:
    8,167
    Likes Received:
    29
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    england
    I think if you're feeling nervous you're much better taking a pause before you speak so you know what you're going to say than trying to make up what you're saying as you go along. You can only be confident in bad situations if you've a deep rooted self confidence in any case, if your confidence is less than perfect you're always going to find some situations you're nervy in, it's much easier to accept that you will be nervous sometimes but that you'll cope with it rather than try to build up some impenetrable wall of confidence.
     
  3. ClaireTalon

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 10, 2005
    Messages:
    1,947
    Likes Received:
    2
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Puget Sound
    Say as little as possible. And if you say something, don't elaborate too much, use simple, short, language. And, unless you are asked for it explicitely, don't try to explain your actions, that will sound weak.

    I know this situation you have been in from my military time, getting a chew from a superior officer is never agreable, and it is hard to stay confident, even if confidence belongs to the orderly conduct for officers. What I said above is how I handled these situations, and it helped me a lot, trust me. In the beginning, I also tried to explain my actions, but it always sounded weak to me in my own ears, and 9 out of 10 times it was irrelevant anyways.
     
  4. MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK

    MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 9, 2003
    Messages:
    28,014
    Likes Received:
    726
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    the pain behind your eyes
    Whatever you can say, say it tactfully, diplomatically & rationally, without getting belligerent. In retail, I've learned just to let them vent for the moment & then get whatever I had on my mind quickly & as shortly as possible, both with bosses & customers. Above all, keep it serious in his presence, afterwards, go decompress private, or wait till he/she has left for the day.
     
Draft saved Draft deleted