How to stop obsessing about size

marshall84

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I have come to the point in my life where I would like to start taking control of my obsession with penis size. I have had this problem since grade school. I developed later than a lot of my friends and was considered small because of it. To make things worse one of my friends was hung like a horse and he liked to show it off. He made me feel extremely insecure about my size all the time and brought it up in front of girls, etc. on a daily basis. It scarred me horribly and I have been messed up for over 15 years.

Eventually, I developed and was blessed with a big penis. The problem is I never got over the feeling of being inadequate that I had when I was younger. Throughout the years I have had many sexual partners and most of them commented positively on my size. If they didn't I would try to see if I could get some type of feedback just to make myself feel good. Even after getting praise, feeling good, and getting my fix of attention that I craved, I have never gotten over my problem.

Does anyone have advice to get over the obsession with penis size? How can I come to peace with the whole thing? I am starting to drive myself and more importantly, my wife, nuts. She thinks I'm huge but I can not accept it and I constantly seek praise.
 

jelqer9

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It's just low self esteem sometimes caused by your partners words or lack of reaction to sex, but every guy obsesses about it unless he is so big that he knows he is like a rare breed lol
 

bighungman10

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You need to understand where your problem stems from. The fact that you need constant reassurance that your penis is big indicates to me that you have low self-esteem.

Why might you have low self-esteem issues? Many factors can lead to someone losing confidence. Work, family, friends, relationships, health, diet, and how you feel about all of these things. Embarrassing or humiliating events from the past can also stop you moving forward unless you figure out why they still bother you.

For a long time I suffered from low confidence and had zero self-esteem. The fix for me was to switch careers and work on something I love doing which is writing. Now instead of hating my job and consequently hating myself, I enjoy work and the feedback I receive boosts me everyday.

Low self-esteem can manifest itself an any area of your life. For you it comes out in the bedroom, a time when you probably feel most vulnerable. When naked, trying to pleasure a woman, even the most confident man can lose his self-belief. This almost always comes to focus on your penis, the connection between you and the woman.

It is time for you to be selfish. You state in your post your low self-esteem is driving your wife mad. So by being selfish and doing something to improve YOUR life, you will improve hers too.

Pinpoint what it is stopping you from holding your head high. Is it work? Is it family? Is it friends?

This is an issue for billions of men world wide and the fact is, penis size is not the problem. It is self-esteem. Any psychologist will tell you the same thing. You owe it to yourself to be selfish now and do something to make yourself happy.
 

unzipped

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low self esteem...the dichoty lies in having a big dick, but not accepting that you do. I suggest affirmations...plus photograph it and praise how big and thick it is....mantra.."i have a big dig..i have a b I g dick".. show us all, so we can praise as well...it will soon sink in...
 

unabear09

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a man's penis does not make a man...there are far more important things to obsess about than the size of your wang. Hell, I thought I was tiny most of my life, then I found this site and discovered that I am far from tiny. What it boils down to is, is it functional? Does it bring you pleasure? Does it bring your partner pleasure? Be happy with what you have and learn to deal with it
 
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I am honestly suffering from the exact problem, even though I sit at around 8.5X7.2 I still feel inadequate due to my late development
 

Moez???

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Meditation. Helps with a lot of things in general.

When you meditate, you sit and accept what IS. Not what you want, what you had, what you will have, ect ect. The more you sit in this state of acceptance, the more you "default" to this state. So you'll reach a point where instead of looking at your penis longing for more size, you'll look at your penis and see your penis and not worry about anything else.

It's human nature to want more. Everyone wants more of everything they like. The problem is we tend to focus on this desire, and this amplifies it. if you shift your focus to the reality of what there is, you'll develop (slowly) a more balanced state of mind, not only involving penis size, but everything in your life.

Also, get a hobby.
 

FuzzyKen

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Here are some medical and psychological facts as to why things happen.

This is one of the most common anxieties that men have. This one starts usually in the first years of puberty because growth rates vary a great deal. One may get a great deal of growth in a short time and another may get that growth much later or over a more protracted period. The problem is especially in the United States that a great number of prudes owing their souls to prudish conservative extremists now dictate what health education teachers can say. These prudish people are the ones that seem to get all the rights to approve of even what can be said in a textbook. They think that educating about anatomy when it comes to sexuality is going to turn every twelve-year-old into some kind of junior sex maniac.

It is simple and it is the education system failing that has been the problem.

Male puberty basically consists of genital development and function, body and facial hair, voice change, and body odor. Oversimplified yes, but basically the facts.

What is never made clear is that this whole process is not unlike the old pinball machines with different parts of sexual development being represented by the pins hit and points accrued. You hit one pin and you get facial hair, you hit another pin you get testicular maturation, you hit yet another and that one gives you a few points towards penis size, and the random cycles repeat endlessly. It is not an even growth progression at the same time in all parts.

One kid's machine may hit the pin for penis growth ten times in a row, another kid might get his voice change pin hit multiple times and so on.

My own bell was rung early with body and facial hair, but late in other areas. When it is not an even progression this actually begins to create the obsession.

When young, first you see what others have and you do not. What you don't usually realize is that at the same time they see what you have and they do not.

I was shaving regularly by the realm of my 13-14th Birthday and having cystic acne as a young teen did not help either. By the time I had a driver's license I also had a full beard, hair on my chest and the start of hair on my back and shoulders. By the time I was dealing with being gay, it was still a time that body hair was something you shaved off. My penis came along fine, but because the order of development was not what would have pleased me most, like many I felt inadequate as well.

In my younger years I was slender and defined for the most part. For some reason the hair that had been a major problem in my eyes turned into the greatest gift ever when Andy Gibb hit the scene. All of a sudden body hair was cool and so was I. I had lighter ash blonde hair at that age, heavy facial hair and if I wore the proper shirt showing the fur coat I was popular. Nobody had ever complained about the size of my dick, but after that they flat could not have cared less. I they wanted to fantasize that they were getting boffed by Andy Gibb I could have cared less.

There will always be size queens in this world. I worked with the late Gary Griffin who was a good friend for years. I continued the publishing work in behalf of his estate for some time after his death so I am absolutely no stranger to PE.

Inadequacy is based on life experience and lack of education.

Penis size is statistically a bell curve. The top of the bell curve is just about 6 inches. Statistically he number of erections under four inches not caused by morbid obesity are very small. Statistically the number of erections over 8 inches are also very small. Yes, they do exist and yes there are some mammoth genitals out there, but, when taken into the context of the general population these numbers are again very small.

The perceptions we bring to adulthood usually are a result of incomplete or misperceptions during childhood.

The worst part is that there are some people so obsessed with this that it impacts their entire life.
 

marshall84

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Thanks for the responses everyone. I'm sure obsession with anything is difficult but this is just stupid and needs to end. I will have to try meditating like moez??? suggested. I do believe I have some self esteem issues as well so that might be something to look into. Pretty crazy how little things in your life can impact you in such a substantial way.
 

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I am honestly suffering from the exact problem, even though I sit at around 8.5X7.2 I still feel inadequate due to my late development

well, we know that you are lying about one of two things: Either you are lying when you say that you are 8.5x7.2. Or you are lying when you say that you've never watched porn.

Seriously this statement is like someone saying "I was a late bloomer and always one of the shortest in my class all throughout middle school. I'm 6'8" now but I still have feelings of inadequacy about my height...do you think most women would consider me too short?"
 
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marshall84

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well, we know that you are lying about one of two things: Either you are lying when you say that you are 8.5x7.2. Or you are lying when you say that you've never watched porn.

Seriously this statement is like someone saying "I was a late bloomer and always one of the shortest in my class all throughout middle school. I'm 6'8" now but I still have feelings of inadequacy about my height...do you think most women would consider me too short?"

I think he was being sarcastic. Mine is big but 8.5x (7.2) is just ridiculous. That's about the girth of a trash can (me being sarcastic).
 
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I think he was being sarcastic. Mine is big but 8.5x (7.2) is just ridiculous. That's about the girth of a trash can (me being sarcastic).

Mine is just on 8" x just on 5 and 3 quarters shaft. Mushy head is bigger. Not being sarcastic :) Maybe he should call it Oscar....that's being sarcastic.
 

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amadordelsexo

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its a serious problem mate,but it is concentrated in our bride due we want please her and we consider that a huge DICK is the best way for don't say the only one.
later come other problems, when in our imagination persist the idea to FUCK all girls cross our eyes, due male have a huge COCK that get all girls crazy.
and the other problem when male would like to show off his huge DICK to everybody,even participate in strIpper show ECT
when such ideas persist in the mind,and male have an small DICK become a serious problem with out solution
the only one a plastic PROTESIS,tilt will help for a while but don't work for our wife due later she will need it every time
 

cadehung

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I have come to the point in my life where I would like to start taking control of my obsession with penis size. I have had this problem since grade school. I developed later than a lot of my friends and was considered small because of it. To make things worse one of my friends was hung like a horse and he liked to show it off. He made me feel extremely insecure about my size all the time and brought it up in front of girls, etc. on a daily basis. It scarred me horribly and I have been messed up for over 15 years.

Eventually, I developed and was blessed with a big penis. The problem is I never got over the feeling of being inadequate that I had when I was younger. Throughout the years I have had many sexual partners and most of them commented positively on my size. If they didn't I would try to see if I could get some type of feedback just to make myself feel good. Even after getting praise, feeling good, and getting my fix of attention that I craved, I have never gotten over my problem.

Does anyone have advice to get over the obsession with penis size? How can I come to peace with the whole thing? I am starting to drive myself and more importantly, my wife, nuts. She thinks I'm huge but I can not accept it and I constantly seek praise.

One thing that comes to mind is that you are holding on to your childhood impression that your friend's cock was enormous and that yours by comparison was tiny, as if that was written in stone. The problem wish such thinking is that 1) as a kid, you are not a good judge of such matters and 2) you continue to rely on this flawed thinking into adulthood. (When I was a boy growing up in California, when we went to the beach, I hung out in the mens' changing room to see all of the surfers get naked when changing showering. To me, they all had huge cocks, which I now realize could not have been true. My mind at that age did not know how to judge such things. Allow yourself as an adult to update that old thinking from childhood. Based on what you're saying now, we know one thing for sure, between you and your old friend, at least one is well hung, that being you. How hung he is, we are not so sure of because the intell on him is very old and came from a child.
 

baldyboy8000

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It's sad how we latch onto 'stuff' that doesn't really matter. We know this, yet we are still are concerned and revert back to our old stinkin thinking. Like others, this describes me. For me it was ok until my wife of 54 years said to me when I wanted sex "what's the
point, you are so small I can not feel you". In talking about it she says "you don't want me to lie do you?" and later, "I am not apologizing, I haven't done anything wrong."
Emotionally I hit a new low. It never leaves my mind. I feel like I've lived all these years in a fool's paradise.





I have come to the point in my life where I would like to start taking control of my obsession with penis size. I have had this problem since grade school. I developed later than a lot of my friends and was considered small because of it. To make things worse one of my friends was hung like a horse and he liked to show it off. He made me feel extremely insecure about my size all the time and brought it up in front of girls, etc. on a daily basis. It scarred me horribly and I have been messed up for over 15 years.

Eventually, I developed and was blessed with a big penis. The problem is I never got over the feeling of being inadequate that I had when I was younger. Throughout the years I have had many sexual partners and most of them commented positively on my size. If they didn't I would try to see if I could get some type of feedback just to make myself feel good. Even after getting praise, feeling good, and getting my fix of attention that I craved, I have never gotten over my problem.

Does anyone have advice to get over the obsession with penis size? How can I come to peace with the whole thing? I am starting to drive myself and more importantly, my wife, nuts. She thinks I'm huge but I can not accept it and I constantly seek praise.
 

dextercouba

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It's sad how we latch onto 'stuff' that doesn't really matter. We know this, yet we are still are concerned and revert back to our old stinkin thinking. Like others, this describes me. For me it was ok until my wife of 54 years said to me when I wanted sex "what's the
point, you are so small I can not feel you". In talking about it she says "you don't want me to lie do you?" and later, "I am not apologizing, I haven't done anything wrong."
Emotionally I hit a new low. It never leaves my mind. I feel like I've lived all these years in a fool's paradise.

Wow. Ouch. How long ago did she tell you this, and are you still with her?