Just looking for some suggestions on how to tell a woman you're big without sounding douchey or creepy. Any suggestions?
This does not generally exist.
One dude has pulled this off with me. We were already very close friends, and I already knew he wanted to hook up. I had always previously shot him down, but he wasn't wrong about the chemistry nor my attraction to him, and to the idea of fucking him. I just wasn't ever available when he approached me. By the time he cracked a job about it, I had already made it clear I would consent if he was still interested. I'm pretty sure the reason he made the joke was that his was so outrageously outsized it needed a warning. You don't bring that without a heads up.
So. How can you do what he did? Say something funny about having a big dick. Do this if, AND ONLY IF, she has already agreed to fuck you, or has implied that she will only agree if you have the extra size she needs. Outside of this, you can only be gross. There is generally no way, in any other context, to introduce the topic without being antisocial. End of. Of course, this is just my perception of what is and is not acceptable.