How to tell if a girl is interested or not?

[sangheili90]

I posted this on the "ask a woman" section but figured I might be able to get some additional advice on here as well.

So, I've been trying to pay more attention to girls' reactions when I interact with them, walk into a room etc. and I'm not 100% sure what to think of some of this.

I've noticed the following things tend to happen;

- I'll notice girls will stare at me with this blank look on their face when I walk into a room or if they see me. There is no interaction with them
- When I do approach girls they continue doing this blank stare thing but they seem uncomfortable talking to me. I cant tell if its because they don't like me or if they are just intimidated by me.
- If I catch them looking at me they tend to either look away or down.....I see that as a sign of disinterest but I'm not 100% sure.
- If I'm walking down the hallway I notice a girl might see me and either stare at the floor or look to the side. I'm not starting at her but just minding my own business walking down the hallway.

I know I sound retarded but I cant figure out what the hell any of this really means, I have a gut feeling they find me attractive but the outward signs/body language they display suggest the opposite.

 

[deleted875903]

OK man nobody answered so I will just give you a little input. You are right about girls liking you when you write about how you will catch them looking at you then look down or look away. That's something that we all have seen when we were still in school. Guys do it too when girls they like catch them looking.
I read your profile and also looked at your photos. So I would say yes these females that you work with like you. You would be surprised at the things women talk about regarding men they are attracted to. If you think men are raunchy and descriptive about female body parts well surprise women are even more so. The reason I put this in is because when you walk into a room with those women seated. Your crotch is at their eye level. The reason they are staring blankly at you is to keep from looking at your package. You got that? Alright maybe next time that happens take a moment to either look at your phone or pretend to read something on a paper you have in your hand. Yes just stand there reading or doing something just pretending (so to speak.) This will give them the opportunity to really check out your crotch. Haahaa.
Alright seriously now. Google "body language and what it means". There are a lot of really great authors and teachers out there. I found out years ago that the best at this is actually the women. You will be surprised at what you will learn. Remember " Knowledge Is Power" use it wisely grasshopper.

 

[Phil Ayesho]

Women are attracted to you if they tend to touch their hair when talking with you.

Women are attracted to you if you seem to have an air of self confidence or success about you. ( men who feel they are succeeding at something have a definitive "buzz"- that women are drawn to. Young women often mistake callous narcissism for that buzz- but smarter, or more experienced women will leaner to tell the difference and will avoid the assholes who mere THINK their shit don't stink )

Women are attracted to you when they seem to laugh at just about anything you mean to be funny.
You should understand that the single most attractive trait a man can have in a woman's eyes is the ability to make them laugh. Women often do not KNOW they react this way- but they do… even FUGLY guys can get a woman, if they can readily make her laugh. Humor os also one of the most important factors for make relationships LAST. Life is long and its challenges many- and everything hard is easier when two people can laugh thru it together.

When you catch a woman looking at you- practice smiling warmly. One of the traps that awkward guys fall into is to assume any girl looking at them is being critical, and so they react with a bank or guarded look. Instead- try and cultivate the mindset that when you catch a woman's eyes on you that she is appreciating something about you… perhaps your clothing, your demeanor, or your looks. ( Maybe even your package ) Thinking this way will Show in your own attitude and body language and women are more attracted to men who think well of themselves, who feel they are attractive.
( really- think about how YOU react to women--- do your eyes lock onto thew girl whose shoulder's are slumped and hair covering her eyes or face and who seems to cling to the walls wherever she walks? Or are your eyes drawn to the woman who walks with a self confident stride and her head held high? Women respond the same way to men- its partly why they often mistake assholes for decent men because assholes swagger, too )


if you are trying to show your interest in a woman, another of the things that can help is physical contact. That is, do NOT go manhandling her- but, when it is perfectly natural- a slight contact with her hand when handing something to her- or a reassuring touch on her shoulder is she seems upset about something… these fleeting physical contacts show a willingness on your part toward intimacy, without being intimidating or threatening.

lastly- be aware that men ARE physically and sexually intimidating to women. We are generally larger, more muscular and more aggressive than they are and they FEEL that potential threat almost all the time. Its not an accident of language that men worth being with are referred to as "gentlemen". A man interested in a woman has to signal to that woman that, yes, he IS physical and he is aggressive ( in pursuing his ambitions ) but that his physicality and aggression are there to protect and cherish her, NEVER to threaten or intimidate. This is why men open doors for women, why men get on a knee to propose, why men lead on the dance floor and escort a woman to her car or to her front door.

 

[916416]

I keep it simple: Just start a conversation with her. If she acts interested in the conversation then she is interested in you.

 

[Phil Ayesho]

I keep it simple: Just start a conversation with her. If she acts interested in the conversation then she is interested in you.

Careful there- women are perfectly able to find a man intellectually or conversationally interesting, and yet a complete physical turnoff.

How do you think guys end up Friendzoned? They are all guys girls like to talk to - to be friends with… but not guys girls want to be next to.
Also- women at work may show interest in your conversation because it is related to their job or you are their boss, or they are yours… Also No indication of interest in you physically- and mistaking that a great way to get fired or make work really awkward.

One of the key things to keep in mind about Women's interest is that YOUR conversation and how they respond to it is NOT how you get them interested. Women roll their eyes with each other over how Men tend to prattle on and on about themselves- their interests and such… Its not attractive.

Far more attractive to a woman is a man who ASKS ABOUT HER and then actually really listens to her response.

So- sure- be open and giving when she asks you questions… but make sure you don't allow the conversation to focus on you. Make sure to show interest in her and evidence that you paid attention to her.

Something as minor as remembering how many Truvias she likes in her Starbucks after only hearing, or seeing it once is something of which a woman will really take notice. Or remembering the name of her poodle. Or any small detail that shows you PAY attention to Her and find her stories interesting.

 

[ronin001]

There is a huge difference between girls and women. What group are you trying to interact with ?

 

[sangheili90]

There is a huge difference between girls and women. What group are you trying to interact with ?

18-25

 

[916416]

Careful there- women are perfectly able to find a man intellectually or conversationally interesting, and yet a complete physical turnoff.

How do you think guys end up Friendzoned? They are all guys girls like to talk to - to be friends with… but not guys girls want to be next to.
Also- women at work may show interest in your conversation because it is related to their job or you are their boss, or they are yours… Also No indication of interest in you physically- and mistaking that a great way to get fired or make work really awkward.

One of the key things to keep in mind about Women's interest is that YOUR conversation and how they respond to it is NOT how you get them interested. Women roll their eyes with each other over how Men tend to prattle on and on about themselves- their interests and such… Its not attractive.

Far more attractive to a woman is a man who ASKS ABOUT HER and then actually really listens to her response.

So- sure- be open and giving when she asks you questions… but make sure you don't allow the conversation to focus on you. Make sure to show interest in her and evidence that you paid attention to her.

Something as minor as remembering how many Truvias she likes in her Starbucks after only hearing, or seeing it once is something of which a woman will really take notice. Or remembering the name of her poodle. Or any small detail that shows you PAY attention to Her and find her stories interesting.

This reply reads more like a guy trying to win points as a "guy who gets it" than an honest response.

Of course conversation can't just focus on yourself. Anyone over the age of 23 knows that. As far as the ability of a woman to be intellectually interested and not romantically or physically interested...sure I agree. I still think it's simple and I've always found it to be simple. Open a conversation and see if she even cares enough to talk with you (and if she is interesting enough that you care to hold a conversation longer than 5 minutes). If so then good signs. At this point it's just basic social skills: find her interests. Ask her out. If she says no then Voila! you have your answer. If she says yes then go on the date. Simple and with a modicum of courage it's fool proof.

As far as the "friend zone" goes I've always found those guys to be the guy who either wouldn't pull the trigger, but was a nice guy, or just wouldn't let a hopeless situation go. Easy to avoid.

Dating and/or meeting people is far more simple than people assume. Maybe it's the movies?

 

[sangheili90]

This reply reads more like a guy trying to win points as a "guy who gets it" than an honest response.

Of course conversation can't just focus on yourself. Anyone over the age of 23 knows that. As far as the ability of a woman to be intellectually interested and not romantically or physically interested...sure I agree. I still think it's simple and I've always found it to be simple. Open a conversation and see if she even cares enough to talk with you (and if she is interesting enough that you care to hold a conversation longer than 5 minutes). If so then good signs. At this point it's just basic social skills: find her interests. Ask her out. If she says no then Voila! you have your answer. If she says yes then go on the date. Simple and with a modicum of courage it's fool proof.

As far as the "friend zone" goes I've always found those guys to be the guy who either wouldn't pull the trigger, but was a nice guy, or just wouldn't let a hopeless situation go. Easy to avoid.

Dating and/or meeting people is far more simple than people assume. Maybe it's the movies?

Meeting people is one hell of a chore, but that's just for me lol.

I'm not really sure if this is 100% true or not, but I remember reading a while back that a woman pretty much decides if she is interested in your or not within the first couple minutes of seeing you, interacting with you etc. and if she isn't no matter what you do or say will ever have her change her opinion of you.

As for the friend zone thing, I think that just comes down to guys being "friendly" with a girl they are interested who has absolutely no attraction to them what so ever. Honestly, that sounds like absolute torture and I consider myself thankful I never tried to be "friends" with girls.

 

[Redwyvre]

If ur lpsg profile matches ur real life profile I would say women are interested in u. Thing is women don't wolf whistle. Of course, some girls will walk up to a random guy they find attractive and give him their phone number, but that doesn't seem to be happening in ur case, so ur going to have to flirt. How to flirt with a girl is basically something u do on a case by case basis, but I get the feeling u want to be given ur space more than interest and so women are reflecting ur wish back to u.

 

[AlteredEgo]

ating and/or meeting people is far more simple than people assume. Maybe it's the movies?

It is a simple numbers game. Interested? Talk to the person. Still interested? Ask for more time on another occasion, or at least contact info so you can sack up enough stones to ask for the date later. That's the entire part you have control over. The rest is entirely up to the other person. You get a yes? Delightful. You get a no? Well, some will, some won't. So what? Next! I have no idea why so many people make it more complicated than that. I know potential rejection can be frightening, but so is loneliness. So is number 5 plastic. What the hell is in that stuff? So are any number of things in life. Fuck fear. No, wait. Go out and meet new people. Fuck some of them instead. Feels much better.

 

[AlteredEgo]

I remember reading a while back that a woman pretty much decides if she is interested in your or not within the first couple minutes of seeing you, interacting with you etc. and if she isn't no matter what you do or say will ever have her change her opinion of you.

I've only been married once so far, but I was engaged twice. The first man who asked for my hand broke it off with me, and I found him very hard to get over. He is the only man I've ever loved enough to hate, and after a while, he was able to remind me that we may not be in love, but we're soulmates. Bread and butter. Movie and popcorn. A long time ago, he disappointed me and broke my heart. But, he is still one of my favorite people in the whole world, one of my dearest, and closest friends. I chose his wife's engagement ring! LOL (Mostly to help, but partly to make sure it looked nothing like mine.)

Anyway, when I met him, he made me a nervous wreck. He was 6'4" and built like a linebacker. Though he was very handsome, his eyes were creepy huge, and he had some if the deepest, darkest skin I have ever seen. He was intimidation personified. I kept vanishing on him, but he was tenacious and kept finding me. (We were at a convention. ) I was put off by his social awkwardness, and by his refusal to be gently brushed off. Eventually, I saw that he was a teddy bear. I thought he was sweet. I wasn't attracted to him, despite his pretty face, but I finally talked to him long enough to think he'd make a good friend. He accepted that, at first. After a while, he made it clear that he would never stop trying to date me, and that he would not continue to talk with me if I wouldn't give him a chance. He proposed an unusual date, and I became curious and went out with him.

It was terrible! LOL I went to go see him perform in some god-awful playin which he didn't even have a good part. Then he um... took me home to meet his mother. I'm not kidding. Then we went to a restaurant where he proceeded to accidentally clothesline some poor bus boy. I spilled three entire beverages. One, by one, by one. He took e to my house, and neither of us could pull the trigger on a kiss. I couldn't decide which cheek I could hit without him landing one on my mouth. He assumed (correctly) I wasn't open to being kissed. I did not want a second date. I wanted to just go back to sitting around with his other friends, doing nothing, playing video games, talking about bullshit, watching anime. I wanted to be platonic. A few weeks later I got butterflies whenever he was around. A few months later we were in love. A few years later, I wanted to be his wife.

I read the same thing you did.

 

[halcyondays]

It is a simple numbers game.

"Guys ask, girls say no, so keep asking." Mom gave me that gem of advice the first time I felt bruised/heartbroken when rejected by girl whom I was crazy about but shot me down when I asked. I moped around swearing I'd never ask another girl, but eventually put mom's advice into practice. I intentionally asked out girls I knew would reject me to build immunity to rejection. It was difficult at first, but I learned not to take rejection personally. A woman may reject for a variety of reasons. You don't need to know why. If 1 in 10 or 1 in 20 say yes, it's one better than zero. And those who reject you won't forget you had the confidence to ask.

"You might be surprised who says yes," Mom said. She was right about that, too.

 

[AlteredEgo]

Smart mom. Lucky son.

 

[916416]

It is a simple numbers game. Interested? Talk to the person. Still interested? Ask for more time on another occasion, or at least contact info so you can sack up enough stones to ask for the date later. That's the entire part you have control over. The rest is entirely up to the other person. You get a yes? Delightful. You get a no? Well, some will, some won't. So what? Next! I have no idea why so many people make it more complicated than that. I know potential rejection can be frightening, but so is loneliness. So is number 5 plastic. What the hell is in that stuff? So are any number of things in life. Fuck fear. No, wait. Go out and meet new people. Fuck some of them instead. Feels much better.

Thank you!! I will never understand why people make dating so mysterious. You don't have to understand a woman at some deeper level to ask her out. Just open your damn mouth and be ok with no. End of story.

 

[AlteredEgo]

Thank you!! I will never understand why people make dating so mysterious. You don't have to understand a woman at some deeper level to ask her out. Just open your damn mouth and be ok with no. End of story.

Most people want to be good people. They won't even usually be unkind in their rejection. And you can never know why he or she said no, so just assume it is more about them than about you.

One of the saddest responses to a rejection I had was one where the dude assumed I wasn't interested because of some judgement I was able to make about him in the three seconds of interaction we had. However: I wasn't single, I was burdened with a heavy bag AND an awkward bundle, I was rushing to catch a bus that comes only twice an hour, and I was exhausted. He asked to speak to me; I declined. All of that was about ME. He could have been Dwayne Johnson *swoon* and I couldn't have stopped. Poor, self-loathing fella chastised me for rejecting him for being ugly (he was very cute) and black (what? Me too.). He said I would have had time for him if he was lightskinned. Seriously? As brown as I am? With these undeniably African features? Maybe I needed a tan. He definitely needed some self worth. It was sad. No is one step close to yes... with someone else. It's just numbers. Like sales.

 

[sangheili90]

If ur lpsg profile matches ur real life profile I would say women are interested in u. Thing is women don't wolf whistle. Of course, some girls will walk up to a random guy they find attractive and give him their phone number, but that doesn't seem to be happening in ur case, so ur going to have to flirt. How to flirt with a girl is basically something u do on a case by case basis, but I get the feeling u want to be given ur space more than interest and so women are reflecting ur wish back to u.

Yes, the pictures on my profile are me, though I've been trying to put on some size the past 6 months so I'm not as lean as those photos. I found out a person who I had been talking to online for 5 months was a catfish back in February and I couldn't eat for 2 months, I ended up losing 20 lbs.

Anyway, yeah you are probably right about the personal space thing, I am a very private person who needs a lot of alone time. I can have a conversation with others but I quickly get mentally exhausted from socialization, so I am your textbook extreme introvert. When it comes to flirting, I really suck at it lol.....most of the time I can't think of anything to say so it just turns into awkward silence fairly quickly lol.

 

[sangheili90]

"Guys ask, girls say no, so keep asking." Mom gave me that gem of advice the first time I felt bruised/heartbroken when rejected by girl whom I was crazy about but shot me down when I asked. I moped around swearing I'd never ask another girl, but eventually put mom's advice into practice. I intentionally asked out girls I knew would reject me to build immunity to rejection. It was difficult at first, but I learned not to take rejection personally. A woman may reject for a variety of reasons. You don't need to know why. If 1 in 10 or 1 in 20 say yes, it's one better than zero. And those who reject you won't forget you had the confidence to ask.

"You might be surprised who says yes," Mom said. She was right about that, too.

I've had a lot of harsh rejections so its been tough to not make it personally when the girls made it so, trying to start rumors about me and what not.

 

[sangheili90]

I've had a lot of harsh rejections so its been tough to not make it personally when the girls made it so, trying to start rumors about me and what not.

"to not take it personally"

 

[AlteredEgo]

I've had a lot of harsh rejections so its been tough to not make it personally when the girls made it so, trying to start rumors about me and what not.

That's still ultimately about her being a bad person, not about you. It's kind of an unreasonable response to a familiar person asking for some of your free time over hot chocolates.

I can remember very few times when negative rumors went out over my little network of female friends. The very first one I remember was really awful and uncalled for, (and false, from what I can tell-- the rumor spreader is a pariah in our spheres now, but the subject is still a cherished friend 19+ years later) but I chalk it up to the immaturity of high school girls. The others were true, and the information was not shared with anyone who had not already dated the guy. It was gossip among a small number of women surprised to find out we'd been on terrible dates with the same men, and had drawn the same conclusion: No second date. The stories were shared with the men's identities secret, but when the details were all too familiar, the names were introduced to the conversation. The men lost nothing they had not already lost. In fact, my homegirl KNEW I was about to go out with a guy she'd already seen. She KNEW he was boring, self absorbed, too handsy, cheap, and a bad kisser. She let me find out for myself, and only asked me after I reported I was home how it went. She then asked me to confirm his name, and told me about her date with him. Nearly identical. The only difference was he'd picked her up in the car he wouldn't stop talking to me about, and I'd opted to drive myself to meet him. Who on Earth wants to discuss a Nissan Murano for 45 minutes?

Anyway, unless you were like that dude, and put your hands all over her even after she asked you to slow down, or kept calling for weeks after she told you it wasn't going to work out, or something equally appalling, what she (or they) did was childish, and gross. You didn't make her childish and gross, did you? So how can that be about you?