How to tell if a guy is into guys?

Bittydrew

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With so many stories how does one tell if a guy is into guys or not? I've have seen many guys and just can't tell if there into other guys or not, How does someone come up with that kind of conversation to maybe find out without just coming straight out and asking embarrassing yourself that you're into guys?
 
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328982

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With so many stories how does one tell if a guy is into guys or not? I've have seen many guys and just can't tell if there into other guys or not, How does someone come up with that kind of conversation to maybe find out without just coming straight out and asking embarrassing yourself that you're into guys?
I think usually you can tell if someone's into you, without necessarily anything being said. Eye contact, sustained interest, or just a vibe. But if you have to ask, why not? Nothing wrong with being gay or bi, so nothing to be embarrassed about imo.
 
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1222288

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With so many stories how does one tell if a guy is into guys or not? I've have seen many guys and just can't tell if there into other guys or not, How does someone come up with that kind of conversation to maybe find out without just coming straight out and asking embarrassing yourself that you're into guys?
I think you need to work on being comfortable with yourself and your sexuality. That is the real root of this question. It isn't so much about what you are wanting to say to someone else, but how you feel leading up to it, then talking about it. That is where your discomfort is.

Because, once you are comfortable with yourself, and who you are, talking to other people about various topics (including sexuality) gets a lot easier. The fear, or discomfort, fades away and you can simply have a conversation.

A great way to work on this is with people you do know, and are comfortable with. Have open discussions. Challenge yourself with topics that might be more sensitive. Talk to that person about being gay, so that you become more accustomed to putting it out there. It takes time, but you will eventually shake off some of those butterflies, and when you decide to talk to a stranger it won't be such of an issue anymore.
 
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328982

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I think you need to work on being comfortable with yourself and your sexuality. That is the real root of this question. It isn't so much about what you are wanting to say to someone else, but how you feel leading up to it, then talking about it. That is where your discomfort is.

Because, once you are comfortable with yourself, and who you are, talking to other people about various topics (including sexuality) gets a lot easier. The fear, or discomfort, fades away and you can simply have a conversation.

A great way to work on this is with people you do know, and are comfortable with. Have open discussions. Challenge yourself with topics that might be more sensitive. Talk to that person about being gay, so that you become more accustomed to putting it out there. It takes time, but you will eventually shake off some of those butterflies, and when you decide to talk to a stranger it won't be such of an issue anymore.
I think that's very true as a first step. But however comfortable you feel in your own skin there's always the issue of how your sexuality will be received by others. Particularly if it's revealed as a come-on or seen as such. A bad reaction is quite possible and comments like the one above imply a threat of real violence if you're judged to have made a mis-step. So maybe the OP is right to be a bit cautious even if the best intentioned advice is to be open and 'out there'?
 
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1222288

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I think that's very true as a first step. But however comfortable you feel in your own skin there's always the issue of how your sexuality will be received by others. Particularly if it's revealed as a come-on or seen as such. A bad reaction is quite possible and comments like the one above imply a threat of real violence if you're judged to have made a mis-step. So maybe the OP is right to be a bit cautious even if the best intentioned advice is to be open and 'out there'?
The OP isn't talking about caution. He's talking about insecurity. There is a vast difference.
 

halcyondays

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The short answer is that you don't know if a guy is into guys. Even if he is into guys you don't know if he's into you.

In my experience conversations begin around something you have in common. For example a few years ago I stopped at an overlook while out cycling when another cyclist rolled up and started a conversation. After a lot of bike talk I asked if he wanted to get together sometime. He handed me his phone, I tapped in my number and we hooked up a couple of weeks later when schedules allowed.

Just dive in. Remember that conversation with another human being isn't just a means to an end. It's its own end. You're getting to know someone new. Leave romance and sex out of it--or at least lower your expectations that something might happen--and accept that most conversations don't lead to anything.
 
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deleted1027653

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you first have to tell if he's a republican...
 
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223790

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I have found that guys that are NOT into guys will bring up their girlfriend or wife repeatedly in a conversation. Just strike up a conversation with the guy to find out. I've been hot for loads of guys I've been naked with in the open shower, steam room, hot tub, locker room, but once they bring up a GF, I know that they're not into guys, or they wouldn't have mentioned them at all.
 
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