How To Tell If A Woman Is Truly Interested

[eletrand]

I'm asking this question to women because I've gotten a lot of mixed signals lately from many women.

I get a lot of compliments, so while I'm not trying to brag I certainly don't think it's me being ugly.

How can I tell if a woman is truly interested in sex, a connection, or a relationship?

Last weekend I was waiting for a drink and this girl totally flirted with me to get a better position to order (telling me how cute I am, asking me where I'm from, complimenting my body) only for her bf to show up so she could leave with both their drinks.

It felt so shitty to be used that way.

Other girls I find attractive, I'm kind of afraid to make any compliment or comments. A lot of women where I'm at treat even a wave hello like they're about to get harmed. (There is a scarcity of black people in my area, so I'm unsure if it's just their bias)

Some of the past few women I've been with weren't even attracted to WHO I was, but my dick size or body. Which is fine in a way, but I felt like the person that I am was being ignored.

I don't mean to call out the entire gender as there are terrible men out there too, but I've just dated some terrible women in the past and just want to find someone who is accepting and wants to have fun (whether it's sex, a relationship, or whatever else).

So I'd like to ask the women: What signals do you commonly give to a guy to show him that you're genuinely interested in him? And what are some of the things that push you away?

 

[693987]

I use my words and tell people I'm interested in them, if I'm interested in them. I have zero desire for and zero tolerance for bullshit games.

 

[eletrand]

I use my words and tell people I'm interested in them, if I'm interested in them. I have zero desire for and zero tolerance for bullshit games.

With that mission statement I'd love for you to write the book for girls who are dating.

 

[693987]

With that mission statement I'd love for you to write the book for girls who are dating.

Ha! I figure flirting is great and all, but if you're interested in someone, tell them. I get shot down sometimes, just like anyone else has happen. At least I know for sure, though.

I also am not great at picking up on flirting all the time. So, I simplify stuff for myself. I ended up with a sweetie who generally is as blunt and zero bullshit as me. I sat myself on his lap while wearing lingerie when we were hanging out at his apartment. I knew he was at least interested in fucking, so since he wasn't making the first move.......

 

[eletrand]

Ha! I figure flirting is great and all, but if you're interested in someone, tell them. I get shot down sometimes, just like anyone else has happen. At least I know for sure, though.

I also am not great at picking up on flirting all the time. So, I simplify stuff for myself. I ended up with a sweetie who generally is as blunt and zero bullshit as me. I sat myself on his lap while wearing lingerie when we were hanging out at his apartment. I knew he was at least interested in fucking, so since he wasn't making the first move.......

You're right, rejection isn't that bad. And being forward can give a clear answer if someone is into you.

What about girls who will use a flirtatious man to get what they want and then leave him?

That's mainly what I'm trying to avoid...

 

[693987]

You're right, rejection isn't that bad. And being forward can give a clear answer if someone is into you.

What about girls who will use a flirtatious man to get what they want and then leave him?

That's mainly what I'm trying to avoid...

I have no idea. That kind of behavior is way outside of my own and I think it's shitty for anyone to do.

 

[Taya]

What about girls who will use a flirtatious man to get what they want and then leave him?
That's mainly what I'm trying to avoid...

And that is exactly what you should do. Regardless of gender.

As for interested; depends on where I am.
If not interested;
Cyber world; I try to brush off and write it down if that doesn't work.
Real world;, avoid eye contact, brush off, cold reply even for those lame compliments. Ask "Can I help you?" That usually does it.

If interested;
Cyber world; Never happened till now.
Real world; a warm smile, a few glances intended to be caught, some minor flirtation in words or touches.

 

[DaisyDoesIt]

it's kinda like learning to walk , ride a bike, ride a bucking horse---you'll fall down, tip over, get thrown onto your head--sometimes getting the wind knocked plum outa you

occasionally get stepped on. or kicked.

you can quit. or get up, dust off, try again.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

Real approaches by real women (please we are all of age, and I assume you pull only from grown women for your dating pool, so drop “girls”) aren’t to cut in line.
Stand up for yourself.

Have a chat, exchange contact.
Breathe.

 

[LaFemme]

I’m still trying to figure out how to let a guy know I’m interested. So far signals don’t work. Direct approach only. Apparently I suck at flirting, it’s either awkward or just comes across as being nice. So yeah, being direct is the only approach that helps me.

 

[918177]

I don’t play games.
I've found that the best way to get what you want is to ask for it.

I've walked up to men after scoping them out for obvious disqualifiers
like wedding rings or treating wait staff and other people badly,
exchanged some heated lingering glances.
I offer them my business card and ask if they'd like to meet for coffee "sometime".
I'll except his card if he has one and take time in feeling the quality of the card, font, make a positive comment -I've dealt with a lot of Japanese businessman so the business card exchange ritual is just second nature now and I still haven't gotten out of the habit of making a slight bow when accepting or offering.
Then look at my watch, excuse myself and walk away.
Done and done.
He either rings or he doesn't.
Coffee dates are better for getting a read of his character and they're less fraught.

Like I said, I just don't play games and I don’t need to manipulate anyone to get anything.

 

[MickeyLee]

It's all in the neck frills. Fluttering with brief flashings of the brightly colored underside signals my interest. Full extension means I feel threatened and you should back away.

 

[eletrand]

Thank you all for your responses so far.

I'm not afraid of rejection or anything of that sort. I consider myself to be a confident guy, but most women I've approached recently after some glances seem almost afraid of me (before I've even said a word).

As MickeyLee's reply read, 'the full neck extension' lol.

Maybe it's the particular area that I'm in then. I think that in an area with more representation of people of my ethnicity, I may have more success.

 

[AlteredEgo]

I get too nervous when strange men pay attention to me. I'm never interested, even if I would be. Approaching me will ALWAYS freak me out. Sometimes, if I've had a few drinks, or I can pull people I know into the conversation, I can stick around long enough to relax. Most of the time, I watch for my chance, and vanish like I was never there. Gone. If I would like to be approached, probably because I'd like to meet someone I see, but he's surrounded by too many people, or he is in a spot I don't think I can disappear from if I change my mind, I make direct eye contact, and smile or wave when he finally notices. Generally, I approach on my own and strike up a chit chat. I'm really easy to read, I think. Though, a friend of mine did think I wasn't interested in having a sexual friendship with him. He says I was putting out friend vibes. I have no idea what that means, and he couldn't elaborate.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

I’m still trying to figure out how to let a guy know I’m interested. So far signals don’t work. Direct approach only. Apparently I suck at flirting, it’s either awkward or just comes across as being nice. So yeah, being direct is the only approach that helps me.

I offered to help load gear.

 

[LaFemme]

I offered to help load gear.

I’d probably put out my back, get offered a beer, and asked for my friend’s number. I’m too “friendly”, not sexy, I think.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

What signals do I use? Blunt words that express clear and obvious interest.

I never leave room for anyone to assume I'm just being flirtatious, or potentially interested in sex/relations of any kind. If I'm into a guy, I just tell him.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

I’d probably put out my back, get offered a beer, and asked for my friend’s number. I’m too “friendly”, not sexy, I think.

I'm an unshaven, short, no makeup, no heels wearing woman of ignorable age.

 

[286798]

What signals do you commonly give to a guy to show him that you're genuinely interested in him? And what are some of the things that push you away?

I am a kind & friendly person and think others are just being nice, too. I generally miss flirtation/interest from men. Unfortunately, men often misinterpret my friendliness as interest. (womp, womp) Can make for some uncomfortable conversations but oh well.

When I am interested, I'll usually say something like "you're really interesting and I'd like to get to know you better" which I think is accurate, conveys my interest, but isn't pushy. As I get to know him better, I'll determine if he's going to be an acquaintance, a friend, or more. Any of those are good things in my book.

Things that push me away are being disrespectful, and focusing only on appearance or sex. I am more than a pretty face and I'm not quick to bed. I'm smart, I'm kind, a giver, I'm a helluva cook and good in the sack, and if I deem you worthy, you're gonna get the whole package. If you're superficial, you won't get to experience it.

 

[AlteredEgo]

(because all woman are almost the same).

LOL Hilarious.

you have to try to use girls too, or, simply not to be used.

So, you recommend instead of just leaving immoral or unkind people alone, a person should debase himself. Noted.

advises

Just a heads up. This is not a word in English. I appreciate correction when I speak other languages. This is not a dig, just meant to be respectful assistance.

Back on point.

I wasn't interesting enough for any woman

This is almost always the problem. I reject men when I am not available, or they are not interesting, or they have made me uncomfortable. A man I find pleasant to look at and whose use of cologne isn't repulsive has more time to be interesting to me. Talking to me when I'm busy is not a good idea.

The article recommends asking for an instant date. Says to suggest immediately having a coffee. If I'm in a coffee shop and already planning to stay, I might be willing to share space and conversation for a little while. If I'm not? Um... I am busy, and a man who is not busy is off-putting. Why is he free right now? Is he a loser? Unemployed? No friends? No responsibilities? No hobbies?

Then the article says to say you wilI each alternate asking questions. What?! I don't like boring, inorganic, fake conversations that feel forced. If we sit sown together for some reason, just tell me something about yourself and prompt me by asking me something about my experiences related to what you shared. Better to choose something important to you. But a phony game of I ask you ask? No. If you have no idea how to have a conversation, just leave me alone. You are wasting my time.

I'm not a little girl. Pickup artist bullshit was not written to help you navagate interaction with someone like me. Just be real. I appreciate realness. Say what's on your mind. If you have nothing to say, I assume you have am inactive mind. If I do not like what you say, doesn't that mean we are not compatible?