How to Tell if He’s Going to Marry You . . .

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Principessa, Dec 30, 2007.

  1. Principessa

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    ROTFLMAO :tongue: This is probably the funniest thing I have read on the internet in at least two months. :biggrin1:

    If a man proposed marriage within 30 days of meeting me I would probably think he had lost his marbles. I wouldn't think he was a romantic, I would most likely worry that he had some undiagnosed mental health issues. :redface:


    7 Ways to Tell if He’s Going to Marry You—in 30 Days or Less!

    The List offers simple, no fuss signs for deciphering if he's that into you.


    Tango Media — Love Relationship Advice for Women


    For a book that promises to “change the face of man-hunting forever,” The List: 7 Ways to Tell if He’s Going to Marry You—in 30 Days or Less! (Adams Media/$12.95) is deceptively simple. I’m not ruining anything by disclosing the seven ways here (they’re on the back cover of the book itself):
    * He’ll make the first move.

    * He’ll call her within 24 to 48 hours to set up a first date.

    * He’ll make the first date easy and fun.

    * He’ll call her within 24 hours to set up subsequent dates.

    * He’ll want to talk to her every day and want to spend all of his free time with her.

    * He’ll demonstrate unconditional loyalty.

    * He’ll talk about marrying her in concrete terms and he’ll propose—or will let her know his intentions.
    It sounds like a dream come true. And I guess that’s why I like this book by Mary Corbett and Sheila Corbett Kihne. As did He’s Just Not That Into You, it challenges women to simplify a seemingly complicated situation: dating. The premise is basically that if he thinks you’re the one, he’ll know it, you’ll know it, the world will know it because (here’s the fast-ball) he acts like it!

    Moreover, like another best-selling manual, The Rules, it gives women willing to play by these (admittedly stringent) rules a measure of self-esteem along with a bunch of practical advice. If he calls outside the first 48 hours, you’re instructed to give him a polite brush-off. If he wavers in his commitment to you and doesn’t seem undyingly loyal, it’s so long Charlie. If the first date is a He-Date (loosely defined as all-about-him), give him the boot. Because you deserve a List Man, a man who knows that he wants you and will do most anything to convince you that you want him, too.

    Many women will recognize a List Man as the type they’ve trampled as they ran after a “real man.” You know, the “real man” who will invite you for drinks along with all his work buddies and then leave you languishing at the bar while he plays another round of pool. Ah, the allure of the unattainable.

    The up-side of the List was obvious to me, but I can hear the protestations:
    * Doesn’t it leave him holding all the cards? (Not if you’re the one enforcing the rules.)
    * Doesn’t it strengthen the societal pressure to marry? (My advice: don’t read it if you’re not interested in finding a husband; the pressure’s been there and it’s not going anywhere. Either you’ve dealt with it or you haven’t.)
    * Isn’t it simplistic? (Yes, and isn’t that glorious?)

    My problem with the List is more mundane. Let’s just say for the sake of argument that I’ve signed on to the List philosophy. How exactly do I meet Mr. Wonderful? If I’m an online dater, I have to wait for him to make the first move (how retro!). The authors seem to imply that by simply reassessing my goals and figuring out what it is I must have in a man, I’ll unleash a torrent of List-worthy prospects. I’m not so sure. I can see their point: he may not look or act the way I expect Prince Charming to look or act, so I need to keep my eyes and ears open, but still, it seems like quite a leap of faith.

    That said, since having read the book, I find myself much less tolerant of sluggish dating behavior. If a guy doesn’t perk right up and show interest in me, I’m more likely to give him the shake. No more settling for half-hearted, weak-kneed attempts to woo me. Clearing the decks, so to speak, inspires confidence. And, in my experience, confident women rarely have trouble finding men. So if that’s the only way reading The List affects you, it’s well worth the $12.95 cover price.
     
  2. ZOS23xy

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    People will buy anything that makes complicated issues of life solveable in "ten easy steps". Books on releationship problems are big sellers, as are "Diet" books.

    Apply Brittany Spears to your above lists, and its all wrong.
     
  3. naughty

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    Workin' up a good pot of mad!
    Actually,

    Having experienced this type of behavior it is true. This is the behavior of a man who is courting you as opposed to dating you. You know that he is serious .He makes it known on a daily and even hourly basis. He is INTO you. You dont have to guess.
     
  4. Not_Punny

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    ^^ what she says.

    Men are perfectly clear. No guessing involved.

    Women are the ones who are trying to read more into a situation than is there.

    Any gal who is "worrying" and "wondering" about a man's intentions should either (a) accept things AS THEY ARE, or (b) pack up and leave. Continuing in a relationship while hoping that things will be different is insane.
     
  5. RamIt

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    I like that is seems to tell women to just move past a guy if he's not following her around like a lost puppy. I sure as hell dont want to waste any time with a woman that expects that of me.
     
  6. jack65

    jack65 New Member

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    Hello

    I think there a two views on this, with in 30 days of meeting my wife i new she was the one, but many of my friends took a long time before they new,
    and some are still single, our "little girl" ( now 27 ) has just started with a new BF and she tells us that he is the one, ( thank god, now she may move out of home ! ) he made it clear that he was very interested and does so every day, though i have to laugh i had just given her the old
    "if you can't find some one yet then get a fuck Buddie" talk, which she did for about two months ( they still talk now and again as they new what the deal was ) then she meet this bloke, he's not what she normally would go for and yet they have fallen for each other in a big way.

    I think if a man is honest and wants a chick as a wife ( he sees something in her that no one else can :p ) most guys will do what that can to let her know and let us not forget men who find the girl of there dreams want to keep them.
    i think naughty hit the nail on the head with this statement, . "This is the behavior of a man who is courting you as opposed to dating you." for many of us blokes that is the difference.

    just my view.

    Thank You.
     
  7. Principessa

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    Please forgive my ignorance; but what exactly is the difference between courting and dating? :confused:

     
  8. jack65

    jack65 New Member

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    Hello

    njqt466, i was trying to say there will always be at lest two different views because of the way we think and the end result can be different of every one as in my statement for my self and friends.

    Arh the crux of the matter, did these guys court you or date you ?,
    When you date some one your just seeing if something will happen its a slow process for most, when you court some one, you are doing it to archive a out come like a long term relationship or marriage,There is purpose to what your doing not just "seeing if anything will happen" well thats my view of it in a nut shell you can talk about how to go about it or what drives a person to court some one but in the end the above statement is what happens, which is you have a interest in someone and you go after it.
    are you sure you don't know the difference?

    Yes i did tell my daughter to get a fuck buddy as i see it better then one night stands with god knows who, interestingly her FB had a cock that was 9 & half inch's, which she proudly showed several pic's of lol. though she has got rid of them now as the new bloke is not quite the same,{ Fb was fun but the new guy is "love"}
    my relationship with all my kids is very good and we talk about anything though I'm sure she has some "secrets" also that is why i don't post any pics as i know she and her friends come here a lot just to look and i don't want to scare them :-}

    I was talking to her one day about the FB thing and why i felt it was best, any way we talked about what was stopping her form finding there guy she wants, it turns out that she had a lot of things on her list , hands,feet,hair, etc..., so much that she would have to make him before she could find him,
    now she is with this guy she has told me that all the things that stopped her before just don't matter when shes with him, They seem to be able to talk about anything they both have there dreams and are willing to do them together and of course a there is a lot more to it but you get the point.

    well I'm rambling now so I'll go.
    Thank You.
     
  9. Lex

    Lex
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    Chris Rock once joked that men do not get married, they surrender.

    "All right, all right! I'll marry your ass already..."
     
  10. No_Strings

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    How To Tell If He's Not Going To Marry You

    *You actually believe in, or take the advice from, 'generic glamour/woman's magazine'.

    :biggrin1:
     
  11. D_Ed69s girl

    D_Ed69s girl <img border="0" src="/images/badges/member.gif" wi

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    this is exactly why I don't believe everything that you read. I spent two years visiting with my husband as just friends before we started "dating". I called it two friends hanging with each other. Yeah things got more serious after about 30 days of going out and watching movies, playing pool and hanging out at the park. But hey we knew each other from all the chats we had at the motorcycle shop I worked at. The only real honest way to know if he is going to marry you for who you are is by getting to honestly know him. If he wants to marry you after only 30days I would be running scared for the hills.
     
  12. Principessa

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    Sheesh, you haven't been here a month and already you are acting like one of those smug marrieds in Bridget Jones. :mad::confused: Guess what, not everyone is lucky enough to meet their soul mate at 19! :aargh4: I'm sorry but you just touched on a really raw nerve. :mad: You'll have to forgive me for grasping at straws of hope No_Strings. You may want to read my blog for a little more insight as to why I just ranted.
     
  13. SereneBlue

    SereneBlue New Member

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  14. Love-it

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    Here is my one and only love and marriage story. There is a caveat: I met my future wife 2 years before, with her boyfriend whom she married later that year, for a month the three of us shared many meals in the wilderness a few hikes, she shared some in taking down and rolling up 1 1/2 miles of 4 strand barbed wire (6 miles of wire) and stories around the campfire. In the next 2 years the only contact I had was one short letter thanking us for the meals and company.

    2 years later we met again on the road into the High Sierras, we talked and I arranged for her to join a volunteer womens trail crew, I was the foreman. That night we talked we talked under the stars until 5 AM, when we went to my tent-frame cabin and we made love. That morning we headed out for a 2 week trail maintenance tour in the back-country. Within the first week I was talking about marrying her with the other gals and when she heard that she said that I should ask her first!

    30 days, posh, sometimes it takes less than a week for a man to make up his mind, I would say that I knew within 2 days who I wanted to spend my life with. We have been together 33 1/2 years.
     
  15. Principessa

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  16. AlteredEgo

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    I don't think it means he's going to marry you in 30 days or less. I think the book is trying to keep you from wasting more thana month on someone who will never marry you. I think it means how to tell in fewer than 30 days if the man is ever going to want you for a wife.

    I agree with Naughty- there is a difference between dating and courting. Think of courting as dating with the intention of confirming for yourself that you've found a real match for yourself.

    Frankly, if a man isn't trying to picture me as the mother of his children inside of a month, I know we're just having temporary fun. In a month, we've spent lots of time together. If he hasn't even begun asking himself if I could some day be his wife, he's never going to ask himself. He already knows the answer is no. This does not have to mean the end of hanging out together, or even the end of sex if the sex is good. It just means we should both be aware that the relationship has met its potential.

    It sounds a lot like my friend's Mixed bag of Nuts philosophy. And yes, Cindy's hilarious to watch.
     
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