How to tell if someone is cruising/flirting with you in a gym/sauna

[irishitalian95]

Met this guy at the gym and we had friendly conversation in passing, and that was that. Thought nothing of it.

After my workout I headed to the sauna, and found this guy in there naked with a towel wrapped around his waist. We were the only 2 guys in there for a while and chatted the entire time. He seemed straight, but was very very talkative and did not stop speaking or looking at me.

When i got up to leave, he told me he would leave too and we should take cold showers and then go back in. I got excited and foresaw something happening so said yes with a smile.

We showered separately and as soon as i turned mine off, he followed suit and left his stall, ans then walked over to mine and waited for me to exit so we could walk back to the sauna together.

We repeated this 3 more time over the course of 45 mins, just talking the whole time and taking cold shower breaks - when 1 would get up to leave, the other would follow. He would keep eye contact with me while talking, and periodically would fix his towel by his crotch.

He said he was probably gunna stay for another 20 mins but I was overheated and said i was heading out for good.

When i left he followed, and showered in the stall next to me. And when i exited my stall he was standing by mine waiting, and then followed me to my locker still talking to me the entire time. he then sat down infront of me as i dried off and got dressed, talking to me as i stripped naked infront of him and he was in his towel and looked a little fluffed up. He saw my cock and everything.

He sat and talked with me until i had my jacket on and was leaving, and then we said our goodbyes and he went back into the sauna.

I thought maybe i was just overthinking his kindness, but then he did this exact same ritual the next 2 times we were at the gym together.

Does it sound like he is maybe interested but doesn’t want to make the first move? Or am I just over analyzing a nice straight dude who isnt afraid to start a convo in the sauna lol?

 

[Tommypa94303]

Many of us have the same schedules, hit the gym at the same time each day and get to know that others are in a same schedule. That’s how I’ve been in this same situation.

I’d go about 330-430 week days to work out and then hit the locker room for a sauna and shower. I noticed they same guy married late 40s on the treadmill same time as me. And realized he’d be in the sauna at the same time. For awhile it was a nod and a “have a good day” as ine of us leave to shower.
my gym has 5 open shower heads and 5 stalls with curtains. I usually take the open showers since the curtains are nasty. He left the sauna first and took a stall. I left and took an open head, lathered and then turned with the shower on my back facing out, Eyes closed. When I opened them he was standing out his stall drying off, first time I saw him nude. He’s decently hung and uncut. It looked like he plumped up a bit as I turned the water off and dried off. This happened a few times.
One day I was on the treadmill at the end of my gym time. I noticed he came in and jumped in the tread mill. I ran another ten min and then left to his the locker room subtly looking at him. Pretty sure he was following me looking at me thru the mirrors.
I got to the locker room undresses rinsed under the shower and sat in the sauna. It was just me. A few min later I saw him enter the shower area naked rinse off and enter the sauna. I was sitting in the bottom bench in the middle. He came in naked dried a bit, laid his towel out on the top bench next to me. At this point I’m thinking “ok he’s sending a vibe” bc he could have sat any where. This time too he sat on the towel vs having it. Wrapped around his waist like most of us do in this sauna.
I leaned back, with my arms on the top bench, stretched out and my towel opened a bit and peeled out the corner of my eye. Here I was two feet from his cock. My heart was racing. He spread his legs a bit knees closer to me. I could see how his head was stretching the foreskin.
I shifted and moved my arm and “accidentally” bumped his knee. Said sorry. Put my left hand on the bench near me and so close to his foot. Suddenly I got the nerve to “accidentally” bump his foot to see what he would do tho didn’t say sorry. He shifted a bit then moved his foot closer to me, so I touched his foot sensually. He was erect by now. I was sporting a semi and really hot and needed to cool off physically and sexually.
I took open shower head #1. He came out and took shower head #2, when the “bro code” says you’re supposed to leave an open one unless it’s a full locker room. We both lathered and discreetly showed off and watched. Suddenly there were others in the locker room so we had to end our fun.
however we did this a few other time. One of the last times he reached over in the shower to grab my butt and I smiled and looked over and grabbed his dick, pulling the skin. We both were kinda nervous. I lagged around getting dressed and followed him out. As we were in the lot I said to him that I enjoy our fun. He smiled and said he did too. He quickly said he was married and I said I was too. And then said it’s too bad we couldn’t go somewhere since he lives an hour away but goes to the gym after work. I laughed and said that’s how it is for us married guys. Told him I really like his uncut cock and he complimented mine, saying it’s really thick and he’s like to do more. That convo was the most important we had ever spoken after all the cat n mouse in the locker room.
Similar experience with another guy which I’ll write later.

 

[deleted13968461]

He’s definitely interested in something, whether that be peeking and seeing other men naked or actually being physical with another guy that seems willing. I’ve come across this with a few guys at my gym who do the exact same thing (the following, the timing of workouts to end up in the locker room together, the showering across from me and leaving the curtain open halfway, etc).

I didn’t realize others were doing this until I started doing it myself, and now I have three hot muscular dilfs that I do this with on a daily basis! One of the guys is definitely married and I’m married myself which makes it erotic, but based on my experience if I were you I’d push a little harder to either just make him see you naked as much as possible or maybe fool around physically!

Keep us posted on your progress.

Just an update on this. I basically end up at the showers with the married Italian dilf every day now and it’s progressively getting more obvious that we’re into each other, so if you want to go down this path, just ease into it and feel out your audience!

Today we both showered with our curtains half open (more than usual) and he ended up pointing toward me and shaving his entire body while facing me! And it was away from the water which made it even more obvious he wanted me to see lol I never would’ve thought this alpha type male would shave his whole body, but he shaved everything except his pubes. He shaved his legs, arms, ass, taint, balls… and I had a front row seat to it all.

After my shower we did the “dry off in front of each other for 5 mins” thing but I made it super obvious that I was looking at his cock, from about 1 foot away from him. I looked up and he gave me a smirk and we did the “what’s up” nod. I was so close to asking him if he wanted to fool around but I just couldn’t yet.

I always wondered what took him so long in the showers (30 mins every time so I have to stall and stall until he’s done every day to get the timing right lol) but it’s because he’s shaving and lotioning his entire muscular body every day. I really want a shot at that thick cock, I’m just not sure how to push it to the next level.

 

[deleted13968461]

Just an update on this. I basically end up at the showers with the married Italian dilf every day now and it’s progressively getting more obvious that we’re into each other, so if you want to go down this path, just ease into it and feel out your audience!

Today we both showered with our curtains half open (more than usual) and he ended up pointing toward me and shaving his entire body while facing me! And it was away from the water which made it even more obvious he wanted me to see lol I never would’ve thought this alpha type male would shave his whole body, but he shaved everything except his pubes. He shaved his legs, arms, ass, taint, balls… and I had a front row seat to it all.

After my shower we did the “dry off in front of each other for 5 mins” thing but I made it super obvious that I was looking at his cock, from about 1 foot away from him. I looked up and he gave me a smirk and we did the “what’s up” nod. I was so close to asking him if he wanted to fool around but I just couldn’t yet.

I always wondered what took him so long in the showers (30 mins every time so I have to stall and stall until he’s done every day to get the timing right lol) but it’s because he’s shaving and lotioning his entire muscular body every day. I really want a shot at that thick cock, I’m just not sure how to push it to the next level.

Another update:
I ended up talking to him a bit more at the showers today which was nice. We both opened our curtains and we’re facing each other showing off, so I just decided to break the ice and ask him how his workout was. I ended up disclosing I had a wife that I was taking a trip with this week and he then disclosed he had a wife he was traveling with next month, so maybe him knowing we’re both married dudes trying to experiment with cock made him feel a little more Comfortable!

I think this guy shaves his body every single day but it looks amazing lol today he went to shave his taint and his ass and he ended up bending over right where his curtain was open to let me watch him do it, so I literally saw his clean hole. His ass is this huge muscle bubble butt ass. I really wanted to slap it today or even rim it.

We ended up chatting naked pretty much right face to face for a few mins at the showers when we were done, and it was really comfortable today and I still felt myself wanting to touch his cock. I think we were both waiting for this cruiser to leave the shower area because we just stood under the water acting like we were still showering for like 10 mins until this guy left lol this guy always tries to join us but I’m not attracted to him at all, he just makes it too obvious that he’s following us.

I’m bummed I won’t be able to see him for the week that I’ll be traveling but hopefully things continue to progress when I get back.

 

[AHandfull]

Yeah the package adjustment underneath the towel thing oftentimes gets a pretty quick response. If he does the same then you're pretty much in. But after many years of working out in the gym and hanging out in the sauna, there is a "lingering thing" that becomes evident on both sides absent any other hints.....and if you have both cooled off two or three times under a shower head and are still sitting there together.....I'd say drop your towel.

As a married man I have always been fairly nervous in that moment yet bold as I like the eyeballs admittedly. I owe it to be safe for my wife so I am generally a stroker and not a toucher but that is just as thrilling to me to have an audience.

The tension of that moment with a stranger is absolutely delicious. When I lived in New York City and there were a number of interested or too obvious men in the sauna, the thrill is not quite the same as the danger and the taboo doesn't hang in the air.....

 

[Tommypa94303]

Another instance at the gym…. My schedule changed a bit and I ended up going after 6:30-7:30 or later and didn’t see that one dude any more . I suppose he changed schedules too. But I did notice the same guy usually on thursdays and fridays at the same time. He’d be on the treadmill at the same time I was and we’d finish around the same time.
I noticed him going in one of the shower stalls for quite a long time. From my view sitting in the sauna he’d come out with a decent fluffed up dick and wrap his towel then enter the sauna to dry off.

He’s mid 40s with white hair, very dark blonde hairy chest and bushy pubes. Great body too about 5-10. He mostly dried off in the warm sauna then left to dress.
One evening, I hopped in the shower, one of the open stalls to rinse off before the sauna. I had planned to have a 30 min sauna. I heard one of the curtained stalls on and could tell he was in there. I went in the sauna and sat on the short bench. A few minutes later he came in and sat in the long bench, top shelf leaning against the wall. His towel was wrapped around his waist. His right leg was on the lower step and then he bent his left knee fully exposing his crotch. He shifted and adjusted his towel a bit several times.
I got up to cool off. Suddenly he did too and took an open showe head next to me. I could see he was aroused and rinsing and sneaking a peek at me as I was peeking at him too.
I went back in the sauna, sat on the king bench close to where his feet were before. He came in, towel wrapped, but then un did the towel to dry off standing right in front of me. He laid his towel on the top bench and sat naked legs apart. He was bold and adjusted his penis a few times and I think that when he saw me looking it made him hard. I opened my towel and leaned back to give him a full view. He began to play with his balls and I could see how hairy they were.
I looked at him in the eyes and smiled and nodded my head. I said “it’s cool. Go for it if you need to”. He nodded and said watch the door. I pulled my hard dick a bit and he just went to town shooting a load in his chest.
I gave him a minute then went to shower. He went to his stall closed the curtain and showered.
I saw him many times after. Sometimes I would noticed him jacking off behind his curtain. Other times he would be all about just showering. Another time he sat right next to me as the sauna was full. His hand touched mine causally as did his leg. When it was just us two alone I rubbed his leg and then grabbed his dick. It was bold and risky but it turned us on big time. His dick felt great hard n thick. He came so fast. I bolted as soon as he came and took a shower. Faced the wall the whole time and jerked my soapy cock shot a load myself.
he is a doctor as ge threw on scrubs a couple of times, commando. I guess married doctors have a lot of stress and need a good work out and sauna!!

 

[gymnistes]

A lot of these guys might be “straight” and this is one of the few spaces where they have the opportunity to get naked with other men and see other men, so they are often very social like this if they are curious. I’ve noticed it too, especially in the sauna or lockers, you might think the guys are not keen to be chatty but then they start a conversation, or they reply to you in a friendly way. I think they really want enjoy these socially nude moments with other men, which they might not have explored in other parts of their life.
If you have a semi one day, just be casual about it and see how he reacts. Does he look, does he mention it? Etc

 

[masqlnbtm]

If a guy is leaving his curtain open while taking a shower, touching his dick in the sauna or exposing himself those are real signs of cruising.
But if somebody is engaging in conversation or being extremely friendly that might not necessarily be cruising.

 

[throbb]

Here are some things I did you could try.

When I was in the sauna in another country, as a similar "straight" guy, I took my towel off to see if it bothered a hit young guy who followed me into the sauna. It did not. I fluffed a bit (not that I needed to). I lay down horizontal looked away and let him look at my cock eyelevel, and didn't back away. I walked in front of him naked to the water spigot to cool off. He said he couldn't wait any longer and gave me the best deepthroat of my life. There was no one else in the gym that day, so I wasn't too worried. He had a beard - a pussy tickler - and I always disliked those but now I see why guys grow them. His mustache and beard on my abs and scrotum felt so good.

I can't vouch for the safety of all this activity of course, and I would love to learn more about the risks I was taking. But I can tell you straight guys love to have their cocks taken care of by anyone who is genuinely into it. All of them, even if they don't know it yet.

Your story is so hot I hate to hear you tortured. There is so much you could do.

Get hard in front of him, apologize, and ask if he minds. Let him see, watch, get close to you. Stroke yourself briefly and ask if it's okay. Talk about sex. When he suggests going to the shower ask if he thinks there are two free and see what he says. The options are endless.

 

[AfterHours69]

For me, I’m super subtle in these situations. I always feel like I want to leave myself with “an out,” although I’ve never really needed one. This is how I’d approach it.

First off, the signs are all there, so you can feel pretty comfortable progressing. At this point, I would pay attention to body language, especially mirroring. For instance, adjust yourself (down there) and see if he adjusts himself shortly after.

Start intentionally sending signals without looking like you’re sending signals. Like, when you put your towel back on, take an extra beat, and adjust it in a way that leaves you slightly exposed. In the steam room, sit in a way that occasionally shows that off. Maybe let your towel be loose, then expose more as you are talking, so it looks natural and unintentional. When you realize it’s slipping away (after a while), re-tie it around your waste, giving him a quick “unintentional” flash
(especially good if you’re getting a semi).

All the while, you act totally normal but are constantly aware of his reactions and responses. Him mirroring you and if he adjusts himself are real good signs to turn it up a notch or two and start seeming more intentional.

Likewise, if he’s doing this behavior already, it could be his way of testing the waters.

This is the tortoise way about it, but it’s kinda more fun that way anyway And if you worry you are off base (which it doesn’t sound like you are), you can play all of it off like it’s nothing without saying a word.

 

[Mister2101]

Another update:
I ended up talking to him a bit more at the showers today which was nice. We both opened our curtains and we’re facing each other showing off, so I just decided to break the ice and ask him how his workout was. I ended up disclosing I had a wife that I was taking a trip with this week and he then disclosed he had a wife he was traveling with next month, so maybe him knowing we’re both married dudes trying to experiment with cock made him feel a little more Comfortable!

I think this guy shaves his body every single day but it looks amazing lol today he went to shave his taint and his ass and he ended up bending over right where his curtain was open to let me watch him do it, so I literally saw his clean hole. His ass is this huge muscle bubble butt ass. I really wanted to slap it today or even rim it.

We ended up chatting naked pretty much right face to face for a few mins at the showers when we were done, and it was really comfortable today and I still felt myself wanting to touch his cock. I think we were both waiting for this cruiser to leave the shower area because we just stood under the water acting like we were still showering for like 10 mins until this guy left lol this guy always tries to join us but I’m not attracted to him at all, he just makes it too obvious that he’s following us.

I’m bummed I won’t be able to see him for the week that I’ll be traveling but hopefully things continue to progress when I get back.

I think both of your are sooo ready to just let this happen the next time you find yourselves alone in the shower or sauna.....Just casually touch and pull on your cock as you slowly get hard.....don't really try to "hide it".......just see what he does.....or simply say, "sorry, I couldn't help myself....I'm all pumped up from my workout.....".....and if he starts touching or pulling on his cock......then just keep going......let both of you get hard and start stroking.....no more "hiding".....might even tell him how good he looks...his body....his cock.....his ass....and how hard he is making you........

 

[JoeRoscoe]

I go to a suburban gym, LA Fitness, nothing particularly gay about the setting or area, and almost literally every time I've been in the showers, someone is in there looking to cruise and put on or see a show. I'm not sure I can really "explain" cruising or "how you know" other than you develop a spidey-sense about these things, and also look for any deviation from the norm of what constitutes actual straight-guy, get-in-and-out, "bro code" or whatever behavior.

By the same token, you can't will a cruise into existence. By which I mean if he isn't looking back at you through the gap in the shower curtain or is giving you a sour, WTF expression, let it go. That gap between the curtain and the side may be unintentional. If he's interested, you'll almost always know pretty quickly, even if there are nerves and hesitation involved on his part. Nothing's worse than being thought of as a troll who can't get the hint, and sometimes even those looking won't be into you for whatever reason. Move on. Worst case scenario it's a straight guy who gets the management involved.

It also helps that the ratio of truly uninterested straight guys who use the showers goes down, esp in the pandemic. Some do, of course, but the ratio of uninterested guys who shower at home is really high. So you already have a much greater chance of interest by simple virtue of someone actually being in the showers than you would from a random selection of who's on the gym floor.

Also doesn't hurt to go on Grindr etc before entering the gym to see who's within feet and at the gym. Have done shower shows after first confirming details of what people are wearing via Grindr.

Guy posting about the Italian DILF: 100% he's interested. You may have to make the first move though. Recommend you sit next to each other in the sauna, as that can be an easier way to start touching by "accidentally" brushing knees etc.

Don't mean this to all be overly obvious, but it seemed there were some questions about how people know etc. Have had some really hot times, and for me at least, most of the fun in a space like that is in the excitement of the chase and the "who will it be next" anticipation. Usually doesn't lead to full-blown sex right there nor to orgasm, though that's happened too.

 

[JoeRoscoe]

For all the quick and furtive shower shows and no-touching frustrations, sometimes this can happen too:

Of course it depends on the type of gym how open this could be. One of my favorite gym-cruising vids though. So hot.

 

[dickthrobbing]

Turn the conversation onto what types of girls / people does he date

 

[HairyMuscle]

Met this guy at the gym and we had friendly conversation in passing, and that was that. Thought nothing of it.

After my workout I headed to the sauna, and found this guy in there naked with a towel wrapped around his waist. We were the only 2 guys in there for a while and chatted the entire time. He seemed straight, but was very very talkative and did not stop speaking or looking at me.

When i got up to leave, he told me he would leave too and we should take cold showers and then go back in. I got excited and foresaw something happening so said yes with a smile.

We showered separately and as soon as i turned mine off, he followed suit and left his stall, ans then walked over to mine and waited for me to exit so we could walk back to the sauna together.

We repeated this 3 more time over the course of 45 mins, just talking the whole time and taking cold shower breaks - when 1 would get up to leave, the other would follow. He would keep eye contact with me while talking, and periodically would fix his towel by his crotch.

He said he was probably gunna stay for another 20 mins but I was overheated and said i was heading out for good.

When i left he followed, and showered in the stall next to me. And when i exited my stall he was standing by mine waiting, and then followed me to my locker still talking to me the entire time. he then sat down infront of me as i dried off and got dressed, talking to me as i stripped naked infront of him and he was in his towel and looked a little fluffed up. He saw my cock and everything.

He sat and talked with me until i had my jacket on and was leaving, and then we said our goodbyes and he went back into the sauna.

I thought maybe i was just overthinking his kindness, but then he did this exact same ritual the next 2 times we were at the gym together.

Does it sound like he is maybe interested but doesn’t want to make the first move? Or am I just over analyzing a nice straight dude who isnt afraid to start a convo in the sauna lol?

He’s interested! If you like him, pursue it because he’s not making the first move. But that guy has probably whacked out a dozen loads thinking about your hairy naked body. Maybe as a first move, show some chub.

 

[throbb]

It's awesome how many people are engaged in the coaching here. We obviously all love a good story with a good climax, and are hungry for your success. Good luck, and keep the commentary coming!

 

[AllDixNeedLuv69]

i have had sex in saunas several times over the years--it takes time and a good routine to get the other guy or guys to let them know what you wanting to do--90 percent of the time is you need to rub the towel near your crotch as they are looking at you--this is kind of what has become the obvious way to get guys interested---

i did that one time and the guy saw me--and he returns with opening his towel letting me see his half hard cock-- and lays the towel back down--

the saunas that were at this place can let up to 8 guys in them at a time and doors locked to let people that wanted to be in the saunas alone --he gets up locks the door and as he walked toward me took off his towel and got in front of me and i wasted no time taking his dick in my mouth--we sucked each other and he wanted me to finish sucking him off i was like dont you want to fuck me he said he had only sucked dick and got sucked-- --i got into a pouch i had with me got lube out and said wanna fuck me he gets up and was like hell yeah

he fucks me and cums inside me-- and then he sucked me off--- when done we rested and he said he never fucked anyone in here--i said its hotter than hell in here already but to feel a guy inside me--- hearing his breathing where he is hot from the sauna and sex---he was likeit did feel good--

we talked for about 20 minutes---he told me he hadnt been with a man in a while since his breakup with his bf over year ago-- i told him his loss as he seemed like a nice guy

as we left he gave me his number and says maybe we can get together and do more i said definitely would call him
i did call him the next day just to see how he is and we arranged to meet at my place friday night order a pizza and hang out-- we got the pizza but didnt eat it until later that night--if know what i mean

 

[Latin Hairy Bear]

Man, this is one of the hottest threads on this site; I’ve read it a couple of times and I always get hard. I’ve had my share of steam room and sauna experiences too. Adjusting gently and subtly your towel is always a good way to test the waters. One the hottest moments I’ve had sexually was at the steam room at the Gym in NYC when all of us inside where jerking off, moaning, not talking, looking at each other, and orgasming loudly. It was pure testosterone, pure sex drive, all men abandoned to our desires, shamelessly, and anonymously. Hope more people share here their happy endings!

 

[skeezer]

Yea he's definitely interested in you the way he is following you around the lockerroom. Adjust yourself in the sauna and gauge his interest that way.

 

[irishitalian95]

Updates to follow!