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How To Tell You're a Cop

Discussion in 'Funny Stuff: Jokes, Quizzes, Games & Pics' started by jakeatolla, Jun 16, 2007.

  1. jakeatolla

    Gold Member

    May 22, 2004
    Likes Received:
    You know you're a cop if...

    You have the bladder capacity of five people.

    You have ever restrained someone and it was not a
    sexual experience.

    You believe that 50% of people are a waste of good

    Your idea of a good time is a "man with a gun" call.

    You conduct a criminal record check on anyone who
    seems friendly towards you.

    You believe in the aerial spraying of Prozac and birth
    control pills.

    You disbelieve 90% of what you hear and 75% of what
    you see.

    You have your weekends off planned for a year.

    You believe the government should require a permit to

    You refer to your favorite restaurant by the
    intersection at which it's located.

    You have ever wanted to hold a seminar entitled:
    "Suicide...getting it Right the first time."

    You ever had to put the phone on hold before you begin
    laughing uncontrollably.

    You think caffeine should be available in IV form.

    You believe anyone who says, "I only had two beers" is
    going to blow more than a .15.

    You find out a lot about paranoia just by following
    people around.

    Anyone has ever said to you, "There are people killing
    other people out there and you are here messing with

    People flag you down on the street and ask you
    directions to strange places ... and you know where
    it's located.

    You can discuss where you are going to eat with your
    partner while standing over a dead body.

    You are the only person introduced at social
    gatherings by profession.

    You walk into places and people think it's high comedy
    to grab their buddy and shout, "They've come to get
    you, Bill."

    You do not see daylight from November until May.

    People shout, "I didn't do it!" when you walk into a
    room and think they're being hugely funny and

    A week's worth of laundry consists of 5 T-shirts, 5
    pairs of socks,and 5 pairs of underwear.

    You've ever referred to Tuesday as "my weekend", or
    "this is my Friday."

    You've ever written off guns and ammunition as a
    business deduction.

    You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if
    anyone says, "Boy, it sure is quiet tonight."

    Discussing dismemberment over a meal seems perfectly
    normal to you.

    You find humor in other people's stupidity.

    You have left more meals on the restaurant table than
    you've eaten.

    You feel good when you hear "these handcuffs are too

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