How To Win A War

Discussion in 'Funny Stuff: Jokes, Quizzes, Games & Pics' started by jakeatolla, Nov 25, 2009.

  1. jakeatolla

    Gold Member

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    > New Direction for any war: Send Service Vets over 60!
    >
    >
    >
    > I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to
    > track down terrorists.
    > You can't be older than 42 to join the military.
    > They've got the whole thing
    > ass-backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to
    > fight, they ought to take
    > us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military
    > unit until you're at
    > least 35.
    >
    >
    >
    > For starters: Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex
    > every 10 seconds.
    > Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day,
    > leaving us more than
    > 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the
    > enemy.
    >
    >
    >
    > Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and
    > a cranky soldier is a
    > dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep,
    > I'm tired and hungry' We are
    > impatient and maybe letting us kill some asshole that
    > desperately deserves it
    > will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.
    >
    >
    >
    > An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10
    > a..m. Old guys always get
    > up early to pee so what the hell. Besides, like I said,
    > 'I'm tired and can't
    > sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up
    > killing some fanatical
    > son-of-a-bitch.
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > If captured we couldn't spill the beans because
    > we'd forget where we put them.
    > In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real
    > brainteaser.
    >
    >
    >
    > Boot camp would be easier for old guys.. We're used to
    > getting screamed and
    > yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also
    > developed an appreciation for
    > guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to
    > get out of the house,
    > away from the screaming and yelling.
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > They could lighten up on the obstacle course however.
    > I've been in combat and
    > didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over
    > the side, nor did I
    > ever do any pushups after completing basic training.
    >
    >
    >
    > Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy,
    > too. I've never seen
    > anyone outrun a bullet.
    >
    >
    >
    > An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's
    > still learning to shave,
    > to start up a conversation with a pretty girl. He still
    > hasn't figured out that
    > a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back
    > of his head...
    >
    >
    >
    > These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to
    > learn a little more
    > about life before sending them off into harm's way..
    >
    >
    >
    > Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward
    > terrorists. The last thing
    > an enemy would want to see is a couple of million pissed
    > off old farts with
    > attitudes and automatic weapons who know that their best
    > years are already
    > behind them..
    >
    >
    >
    > ***How about recruiting Women over 50 ...in menopause!!!
    > You think Men have
    > attitudes !!! Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my God!!!
    >
    > If nothing else, put them on border patrol.... They will
    > have it secured the
    > first night!
     
  2. B_jeepguy2

    B_jeepguy2 New Member

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    Yeah, but 18 year olds think they are bulletproof...even if they are not, and are not far enough removed from being bossed around by their parents that most will do what you tell them to do even if they think it is stupid. Once most people get past 30 or 35 they figure out they are not bulletproof... and by the time they are 42 they know damn well they are not!

    In 1944 they told a bunch of 18-20 year old kids to land on beach raked by Nazi gunfire and scale a friggen cliff called Point Du Hoc and take out the German positions up there....and somehow they did it! Can you imagine if they told a bunch of 50-60 year old guys to do that? They would have looked up at that cliff and said...ARE YOU FUCKING CRAZY?!?!? Not to mention that most 40+ year old guys today, hell for that matter 30 year olds are not in good enough physical shape to haul their FAT asses up that cliff.
     
    #2 B_jeepguy2, Nov 25, 2009
    Last edited: Nov 25, 2009
  3. tasteslikejellyjam

    Verified Gold Member

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    from what I've experienced at the gym....
    make that 23 and up...
     
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