My gut feel is that many women don't know themselves very well at all. This forum may not be indicative, so don't take that personally, and certainly don't take this as a relative comparison to men. Do you think that is a gradual understanding based upon different experiences, or just something you understand when you find it as it were? I just want to edit this slightly. Do you discuss your sexuality with your partners, or do you expect to feel your way to a mutual understanding. Perhaps you discuss it more with women friends than with the men in your life?